Woman problems like whoa

**novicemarine** · 05-15-2003, 04:50 AM

To make a long story short (I'll try) My ex fiancee called me up last night and the usual pissing match began, she's dated two, I've dated too many to count since we broke up... yadda yadd. Some bullshit from me here, some there and next thing you know, she's bawlin' like a baby.

Now, seriously, I've dated a lot of girls. But I've been entirely too bitter toward women to enjoy any presence since her. But that's a big secret 'tween us, k? So, on thing leads to another and somehow I'm getting all kinds of flashbacks of REALLY good times. Times I can't take back. I can forget the bad stuff, but I can't get my ex fiancee out of my damned mind. I went a few months with out her cold turkey and I don't want to go through it again. But that's not even the kicker. She pretty much wants to get back together. She's a student at UNCW (UNC Wilmington) and I am very capable of landing myself a place in Cherry Point. That's about 15 minutes, 20 dorm to barracks, tops.

Now that I sound all sure of getting together, here's the real deal. I seriously hate women. I don't think I'm ready to meet a new one let alone get back with her for a while. And if things don't work out there, she'll be around town, clubs and stuff (Marines are only allowed at one out that way and I'm guessing she'd be there every night she that knew I would). The only reason the breakup worked out this time is 'cause I'm here. Anyway, with the time I've got left in MOS school, I could prepare myself to get something going with her again.

The only real problem is all the girls I'm faced with now! This is really my first time being a mature loner with these kind of options. I've always had a college atmosphere but never a truly bachelor-type lifestyle. I'm going home to see an old flame---good times, going to TX to see a 4yr old flame (I think I cared about her almost as much as Katie at one time) and am surrounded by women in FL. I'm not even going to consider calling any of it off 'cause these plans were here before I even thought of this. But why the hell did she poke her head in here when I could just be getting used to the single life?! I haven't slept with any of these girls, 'cause I'm just not like that. But I'm faced with a lot of fun here.

I've loved one girl, this is her. It'll take about another year to truly get over her if that's what I intend to do. I don't know if I'm capable of loving another that much. And for the record, our failure had nothing to do with infidelity, me beating her, or anything serious like that. It was almost entirely based on too much time apart with me being enlisted. A lot of arguments spured from this that so there it is.

Ideas please!

-Novice

**zillamonster** · 05-15-2003, 09:18 AM

WoW!! You sound like a sentimental fool like me. I have been that route, getting back with an old GF's. It never works for me. You usually break up for a reason, new GF, move, enlist, new job, etc. Usually, you are both in a different frame of mind then before. I do stay friends, but it never goes back to where it once was. Go with your heart. Maybe just meet to talk and discuss things, and go from there!

Good Luck

Zilla

kc · 05-15-2003, 09:35 AM

man, that first love's a kicker, but usually not the only..and not the best. Good Luck with whatever you do, life's too short to waste time with something that doesn't make you happy!!!!!

**daem** · 05-15-2003, 09:41 AM

whats up bro, i havn't talked to you in awhile so i thought i would post my opinions.

first, ex's always have a way of surfacing at the weirdest, random moments regardless of how well or shitty things are going for you. maybe she has not been too successful in her guy endeavors lately and is longing for the connection she had with you in the past. it is impossible to completely forget about people you have connected with on a deeper level, so she is just realizing that you may have been more to her than she wanted to admit back then.

although your plan to move close to her seems noble, i would never do something so drastic since the situation is a leaky sieve...full now, but as time goes by there will be nothing left since history repeats itself.

i would explore your other options besides ex's or past flings...they always want something from you that you can't figure out until it is too late.

as hard as it may be, steer clear bro...thats the best advice i can offer.

**TheMudMan** · 05-15-2003, 10:45 AM

This is how I look at things. If it didn't work out the first time then most likely the second time around will not be any different. Once a relationship is over I never look back no matter how hard it is to do. I know you said it was the distance that broke you apart but if your love were strong enough then you would have stayed together.

That's my 2 cents but whatever you do then good luck and I hope it works out.

**novicemarine** · 05-15-2003, 10:47 AM

It's harder to let go than I'd like to admit. I tried to act like there weren't feelings there and it worked. I think I'm just going to avoid her for now. I'm enjoying my current flings and all the attention they offer. Thanks, bros. Where are the sis's? They always put good stuff on these threads.

**novicemarine** · 05-15-2003, 05:46 PM

All right, I've been thinking all day and I've come to this conclusion: **WHY THE HELL AM I BENT ON THIS STUPID SHIT?!** I never let myself get messed up over a girl and when I see myself doing it, I usually drop them like a bad habit. I wasted a whole day (and maybe I'm weak but it effects my diet, training, everything) obsessing over this retarded ass girl. So, this is where the bad habit thing comes in, she's out. There's a 1/3 chance I'll get stationed there anyway, but either way, I'll just maintain my distance. Maybe I'm one of those guys who is afraid of committment, but I'm happy being that way.