I need your geekiness...

Members who know their stuff when it comes to computers and such (so basically, the bill gates computer geek types), lend me your ears:

Those of you who've been following my diary know that I've run into some digital camera problems. Well, I'm returning the one I have (it didn't work on a single computer I tried it on...so it wasn't my computer) and purchasing a new one. This time, however, I want to do it right. This is not to suggest that I picked a crappy camera last time, I just bought the first one amazon rated highly that seemed to fit what I wanted. Well, here's what I want:

I''ve purchased an HP photoprinter that can handle up to 8x10's I believe. I'd like to make photography a bit more of a hobby, and would like to take advantage of the fact I can print high quality 8x10's by having a camera that can translate/crop pics at that level without pixelating. I envision myself taking a mix of still and action photos, so that should be a consideration.

For those goals, what will I need in terms of:
*megapixels
*x optical zoom
*x digital zoom

I'd prefer to spend about five hundred tops, but as I hope to make this a legitimate interest and hobby (i love pictures and photography) I'd be willing to spend up to 900 or so. So, what specs would i need in terms of the above that also fits my budget? Please help, I'm clueless on this stuff as it stands now and i don't trust the staples and best buy salesmen.

I know it's a weekend, but anyone? I'm really hoping to make a somewhat more informed purchase relatively soon?

ask that question on www.sharkyforums.com and you will get tons of replies from a great number of computer geeks:D That is the AR of the computer world

I just did that...the board is kinda funny to see. Whereas many of AR's members have their bodyweight, bodyfat% and best lifts in their sig, here's a sample from over there:

My current rig
Dell Dimension 8200:
Dell 2000FP
P4 2.53 Ghz, 1G PC800, 120 GB WDSE
GeForce 4 Ti-4600
48x CD-rom
2.4x DVD+RW/+R/CDRW/CDR
Zip 250
TBSC (the Dell version)
Altec Lansing ADA 995s/Senn HD497
Win XP Pro/Office Pro
6 USB devices: keyboard, Logitech MX700, Microsoft force feedback joystick, flash card reader, Epson Photo Stylus 820, Logitech Wingman Rumblepad

Not poking fun, just pointing out the fact that, whether it be dumbbells or gigabytes, the internet appears on some level (discussion boards) to have fulfilled its egalitarian prophecy.

Everything you ever wanted to know( and a whole bunch of shit you didn't want to know) about digital cameras:

Use the force....http://www.steves-digicams.com/

Well for $500 bucks you can get probably a 4M pixel camera with a decent opitcal zoon. Don't worry about digital zoom, you want more optical.