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  1. #1
    Sir Victorian guy, V.C. is offline Knight of the Garter and Member of the Victorian Order
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    'Kamikaze' cycles- from JAPAN!!!

    Brothers,

    A truly new and amazing method of cycling and training has been exposed to me recently...and I have to share this with all my Iron Warrior Brothers. George Spellwin is at this moment, no doubt, capitalizing on this- so before you pay him $99.99 for this info, allow me to 'let you in' on these secret oriental cycling methods.

    It was all revealed to me a few weeks ago. While training in the gym, with my stalwart training partner and chauffeur, Nobby, we were watching a scrawny little bucktoothed, coke-bottle glasses wearing Jap doing squats with 135 pounds, screaming with every rep. He saw us watching (and laughing at) him, and the little yellow fiend came waddling up to us and began his pidgin-English tirade...Nobby and I were about to tear him limb from limb, but decided he was too amusing to begin beating right away.
    "You Eengweesh...beeg men, but too beeg. You do not know how to twain and take stewoid...I am Sabuwo. I am samuwai bodybuiwder..." he babbled, then raised his 10 inch arms in a double-biceps pose to show us what real development meant. "Two tousand miwwigrams of test ebery day..." he sneered, pointing to his 'ripped' 130 pound body.
    "You stoopid. You do not twain wight!" he snarled.

    "Well then, my samurai friend..Saburo it is? Show us westerners how it is done then, brother!" I roared
    He reached into his training bag, and took out a headband with the Rising Sun on it. He carefully tied it around his head. Then he reached back in, and pulled out two fully-loaded 10cc syringes. He held one in each hand, closed his eyes and began muttering, like some insane buddhist monk, and then slammed both syringes into his chicken legs and injected, screaming the whole time.
    I was stunned. Now THAT was bloody hard-core, mates!
    While he was in this intense state of mind, Nobby crept over to the squat rack, where the Jap fellow had left the bar, loaded with 1 plate per side, ready for his next set. While Saburo was meditating, psyching himself up for his 135 pound set of squats, Nobby quietly added 4 more plates to each side, snickering under his breath as he did so.
    Saburo was standing there, eyes closed, saying some bizarre Japanese prayer, then suddenly opened his eyes and, screaming 'BANZAI!!!" ran at full speed over to the squat rack, unracked the bar- without realizing it now weighed 495, and with a loud snapping noise collapsed under the weight, and crumpled to the floor, along with the bar, with an apocalyptic earth-shattering crash!

    His body lay, snapped like a twig, legs sprawled in unnatural positions, and his low moaning indicated he was still alive. Nobby and I began roaring with laughter- "That's for Hong Kong back in 41, you Jap bastard!!" I screamed, kicking his limp form. Nobby pulled his bike chain out and began beating Saburo, screaming "FOOKIN BASTAAHHD!" with each mighty wallop. We left him, barely clinging to life, smothered on the floor beneath the bar.
    We took his gymbag, which was full of gear- tasty Japanese anabolic treats like primo, test, etc, and headed out the gym, laughing so loud that it echoed across the universe.

    Anyway, any of you bros tried such insane injecting procedures? Or two thousand mg's a day? Good Lord!!


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  2. #2
    big N's Avatar
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    this pretty fucknin gay !and cosidering we have asian members here it should be fuckin erased!like now !

  3. #3
    Jeff Stevens is offline New Member
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    ya, not only is that racist, its just plain dumb....do you self a favor and go squat on a broomstick....this guy's a fuckin piece of work

  4. #4
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  5. #5
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    not even remotely funny......

  6. #6
    BIG TEXAN's Avatar
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    Sir, what's up with this story? Normally your outrageously written tales have me in splinters on the floor about to piss myself laughing, but this one doesn't hold up to par brother. I miss Nooby and your adventures though, glad to see ya back in action.

  7. #7
    markas214's Avatar
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    I actually read the entire post thinking it had a punchline. I'm with Hk, "not even remotely funny". I regret reading it and it now will be deleted from my personal hard drive aka my brain.
    Last edited by markas214; 06-12-2003 at 07:00 PM.

  8. #8
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
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    Hey asshole, do us a favor, if you're not going to have a point, at LEAST try to be funny... you just wasted 5 minutes of my day!!!

  9. #9
    righton is offline Senior Member
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    Not one of you best, but still good.

  10. #10
    steeldawn71 is offline New Member
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    Angry

    Fuckin' retard.
    What the fuck is your point ?

  11. #11
    Chach's Avatar
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    that was the fucking dumbest story i have ever read...
    Last edited by Chach; 06-12-2003 at 02:35 PM.

  12. #12
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    As an individual who thrives socially based on my comedy (it sure as hell isn't going to be looks, brains, money or anything like that), I'm always amazed at how the "funny guy", who brings such entertainment to people, is immediately shot down for the joke that doesn't happen to go over well, but does not receive similarly charged thanks for those that hit the mark. As such, and because I am a big fan of Sir Victorian Guy (though I'll concede he missed the mark here a bit), here is the SVG Library...especially for the newer guys who seem to not quite comprehend the background of the original post in this thread:

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=50802

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=45356

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=44279

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=38116

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=37104

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=36396

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=35010

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=34900

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=34805

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=34675

    http://anabolicreview.com/vbulletin/...threadid=34624

  13. #13
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Sir Vic, like Big Texan said I'm very pleased to see you're posting again however I think this one missed the mark. Well you can't hit the bull's eye everytime, better luck next time. I miss Marvin and his glasses. Keep em' coming though.

    Cheers Mate,
    Jugg

  14. #14
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    I concur with BigGreen here. I'm surprised to see some senior members having a fit about this. Sir Vic has been posting stories like this for quite a while now, and they are mostly quite hilarious. Although this one is not quite up to par, it's still more funny and sarcastic than most of the BS humor that the masses find amusing when watching their crap-ass sitcoms every night. So, /cue Cletus voice/ QUIT YER BITCHIN'!

  15. #15
    Chach's Avatar
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    OK GUYS ..biggreen and strut99gt....i dont like the stories and wil not like them so just because he has posted b4 doesnt make a difference to me ..he's not funny period..but this is my opinion not urs ........

  16. #16
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
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    Damnit BigGreen!

    Out of respect for you I read a couple of those threads... so now thanks to YOU I've wasted ANOTHER 5 minutes of my day!!

    Sorry, but I stand by my original post. This is the AR lounge, so all topics are open, but also "fair game"... I typically don't respond to threads I don't agree with to avoid flaming.. But the "tripe" in this thread teeters dangerously close to blatant racism...
    Last edited by ripped4fsu; 06-12-2003 at 03:00 PM.

  17. #17
    Strut99GT's Avatar
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    Originally posted by ripped4fsu
    Damnit BigGreen!

    Out of respect for you I read a couple of those threads... so now thanks to YOU I've wasted ANOTHER 5 minutes of my day!!

    Sorry, but I stand by my original post. This is the AR lounge, so all topics are open, but also "fair game"... I typically don't respond to threads I don't agree with to avoid flaming.. But the "tripe" in this thread teeters dangerously close to blatant racism...
    Fair enough fsu, if you don't find the posts amusing, then that is your call, and I respect that.
    But regarding the first few posters who were essentially labeling Sir Vic a racist: this is for humor's sake, and the majority of the readers on this board can see the amusement in his posts, so get off your politically-correct high-horse and learn to laugh a little.

  18. #18
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Originally posted by ripped4fsu
    Damnit BigGreen!

    Out of respect for you I read a couple of those threads... so now thanks to YOU I've wasted ANOTHER 5 minutes of my day!!

    Hmmmm...this "respect" thing intrigues me. Out of respect, could you send me a free five week supply of winny?

  19. #19
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BigGreen


    Hmmmm...this "respect" thing intrigues me. Out of respect, could you send me a free five week supply of winny?
    suuuuuuure buddy, I'll deliver it personally,,, me and my other Texas brothers were planning a trip to see you anyway,,,

    Now what was that address?!?

  20. #20
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    Racism :The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
    Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

    I think it quite fair to say that Sir VC and Nobby certainly consider themselves superior to anyone of any race - except perhaps eaton/oxford schooled 300lb brits though I dare say that women of all races, as long as they are attractive, are also quite acceptable.

    Since all seem to feel free to lampoon a stereotype of the big tall, boot wearin, Texan with a drawl - why would you think there is any difference with any other type of stereotype? and those of you who are so high and mighty and PC are the same ones who I see referring to women as "bitches" or reffering to them as objects, frequent blonde jokes, "10 reasons women or men, etc." - or portraying palestinians or iraqis or afghans in a less than flattering way - why do think that this is different? It is not.

    Now we dont allow any hate filled remarks on AR, "racist" or not - but too many darn people are crying racist these days and they dont have a damn idea what that is about. Sir VC posts his jokes under a persona (for those of you who know what one is) - I have seen through his posts on other boards that he is consistent in this and flames everyone equally. - you guys have got to learn the difference - your minds have been so washed by the PC police in the press that I am not sure some of you know when real racism smacks you in the face.

    Sir VC - I would have thought a "Samuria Syringe Sepuku" would have been injected in the abs

  21. #21
    redrock is offline Member
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    I agree with CYCLEON. PC is getting out of control! REDROCK

  22. #22
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CYCLEON
    Since all seem to feel free to lampoon a stereotype of the big tall, boot wearin, Texan with a drawl - why would you think there is any difference with any other type of stereotype?
    If we define stereotype as a single archetypal simplification of the whole that is not accurately emblematic of this derivative whole (as i believe is close to the working definition), that would imply that NOT ALL TEXANS have a drawl and wear boots. I simply do not understand how this could be the case. I have never been to Texas, but I have imagined it many times, and in these mental scenarios, each time BigTexan gets done with a set of squats, he hoops and hollers while shooting his six gun into the air of his gym. Furthermore, in these scenarios, majorpecs, rather than grabbing a new set of dumbbells for a heavy set, simply uses his lasso to grab them. And finally, jarret, big r and ripped4fsu do their cardio by "wrasslin a little doggie" and/or "breakin in a stear". Oh, and to return to my original point, they're all wearing cowboy boots in these scenarios. So, I'm at a loss as to why you are classifying fact as stereotype

  23. #23
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Originally posted by ripped4fsu


    suuuuuuure buddy, I'll deliver it personally,,, me and my other Texas brothers were planning a trip to see you anyway,,,

    Now what was that address?!?
    No, that's okay, you can just mail it...i'm afraid to personally deliver it all the way to New England would be asking a lot. After all, I don't want to ask each and everyone of you texans to abandon your conception that the earth is flat all at the same time...let's take this one at a time.

    Oh man, I'm sorry...it's just that i've been in an oddly funny mood all day (see my posts today for elaboration) and now I'm on a texas jokes kick after cycleon's noble post...but, I SWEAR i'm developing an homage to Texas poem that I'll be posting to beg forgiveness for my sins.

  24. #24
    HorseFace's Avatar
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    Whether or not someone finds it funny is a matter of opinion-
    I thought it was funny as always

  25. #25
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
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    Can't we all just get along!? Now let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!!

  26. #26
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    I am with CYCLEON here as much as I hate the little perverted bastard. Everyone needs to think about what your getting mad at???? woo hoo he told a jap joke. I hear boudreaux and pierre jokes all of the time. I also heard the one that goes something like this...

    There was a white man, chinese man, and black man going cross country to go mountain hiking. After running out of gas they walked for three miles until they came across a farm. Finally they knocked on the door until an old sruffy man came to the door straw hat and all. the man asked what was needed and the three gentlemen asked for a place to stay until morning came. the man agreed to let them stay under the condition that they would help him on the farm first thing in the morning. Sure nuff morning came and the old man was at the door ravingly shaking a bell until the three men were up and awake at full stance. The old man told them that all they had to do was go out in his garden and bring back three of the same kinds of fruit. The chinese man, black man, and white man were so excited to have an easy task that they threw on some scrubs and hauled ass out of the door ready to pick their fruit. An hour later after searching hard and long the chinese man came prancing back with three grapes. The old man was awaiting with a shotgun and put the chinese man up to gun point and told him that the only way he would live is if he shoved the grapes up his ass. The chinese man did so crying the whole time. Next about thirty minutes later the white man came prancing up happier then ever with 3 figs. The old man was once again awaiting with a shot gun and forced the white man to shove the figs up his ass. the white man looked back towards the fields and started giggling. After an endless session of laughter for nearly five minutes the old man kicked the white man down and demanded to know what was so funny. the white man could barely spit it out from laughing so hard while trying to say....." that stupid nigger is out ther picking watermelons....!!!!!!!"


    Just to prove a point I have told every black friend i have and all of the one's i have worked with this joke and it was always funny to them. It isn't a big deal as long as im not sitting here saying oh you stupid chink or you fookin cracker or you dumb nigger.........it's old english that nobody uses nomore cept for dry humor....so eveyrone get over it...just a joke dawg

  27. #27
    Chach's Avatar
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    FKITS--bro whats to get over, from what i know everybody has an opinion and some members didnt like the joke and thought it as racist, which i thought it was just plain ole stupid not racist, so my point being everyone is entitled to there OWN opinion..so you get over it bro, its there opinion.... dawg

  28. #28
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    FKIT that joke is so old - u gotta get out a bit more -

    What do you call 300 white gus chasing a black guy - The PGA tour.

    Whats white and 14" - nothing
    ____

    A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says "Look Momma.... I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says "Boy go show your Daddy."

    The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy.. I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him on the face too and says "Boy, go show your grandmother."

    "Look Granny...I'm a white boy." She slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother.

    His mother says "Well did you learn something from all this?"

    The boy shakes his head and says " I sure nuff did... I've only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people."
    --------

    Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

    _------

    Two lifelong friends had a running argument. The black friend would argue that God was black, and the white friend would disagree and say that God was white.

    One day, they decided to go fishing. On the way back, they were still arguing about whether or not God was black or white.

    Before they knew it, they where in an accident, and they found themselves in heaven. When they got there, St. Peter met them at the Pearly gates. Again, the question was brought up, "Is God black or white?"

    St. Peter told them to have a seat in the waiting room and God would come out and talk to them about it.

    While they were waiting, they continued to argue whether God was black or white. Then they heard some footsteps coming. They turned around as the door swung open and in stepped in God in His
    grandest toga.

    They looked to Him expectantly, waiting for His answer to their long running argument.

    He smiled at them and said, "Hola muchachos!"

    ---------
    My Favorite

    This little white guy decides he wants to get muscled up.So he goes to a gym and looks for the biggest trainer he can find. The trainer is a huge black guy. Well the white guy hires him. The first day they work out then hop in the showers. The little guy happens to accidentally see the black guy's dick. He can't believe the huge thing. So he tell the trainer.. I kinda saw your dick.... How did you get that thing so big? The black guy replies " I dunno, but when I was a kid, I used to tie a string to it and tie a rock on the other end, maybe that had something to do with it". The white guy say's "Great I'll have to try that one this weekend". So monday comes and they are working out, the black guy say's " how's that string and rock trick working?" The white guy say's GREAAAT, I am already half way ther. The black guy replies " half way there? what do you mean? The white guy responds... WELL, IT'S ALREADY TURNED BLACK


  29. #29
    BIG TEXAN's Avatar
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    BG, I'm about to brerak off my "cowboy boots" in you're New England arse my friend! My six-shooter! Get it right brother...... it's my Winchester 30-30 lever action. Besides..... don't you have some fish to catch or a clam bake to go to?

  30. #30
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    ;

    im half asian and didnt take offence....but i would like to say

    DICK Head!!!!

  31. #31
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    I thought it was a good story.But I'm not some soft pussy that cries and whines about everything that offends me.To each thier own.

  32. #32
    FKITLETSGO's Avatar
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    yea those were good cycleon!!!! thumbs up.....not

  33. #33
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BIG TEXAN
    Besides..... don't you have some fish to catch or a clam bake to go to?
    Wow, it's like you've hacked into my Palm Pilot and checked out my schedule for the day...though, I can't do any of that until I check my uncle's lobster traps, remind everyone why state universities and public schools in general pale in comparison to prep/private schools, make minorities feel uncomfortable, and come to terms with the fact that Boston is not New York. But otherwise, you've got my schedule spot on.

  34. #34
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    LOL guys calm the fuck down! Have you forgotten who nobby is?

    It´s a joke.

  35. #35
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    When I read the JOKE, I pictured the little japenese guy lying all crumpled up on the ground beneath the weights and I thought to myself ........... BWAHAHAHA ... That's some funny shit! The visuals from that JOKE made me laugh more than anything! I love JOKES that play off of stereotypes! They are after all just JOKES!! It's like Carlos Mencia once said to gay men.."If you can take a dick you can take a joke!"

  36. #36
    BIG TEXAN's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BigGreen


    Wow, it's like you've hacked into my Palm Pilot and checked out my schedule for the day...though, I can't do any of that until I check my uncle's lobster traps, remind everyone why state universities and public schools in general pale in comparison to prep/private schools, make minorities feel uncomfortable, and come to terms with the fact that Boston is not New York. But otherwise, you've got my schedule spot on.
    Smartass!!!!

  37. #37
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    Originally posted by CYCLEON
    Racism :The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
    Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

    I think it quite fair to say that Sir VC and Nobby certainly consider themselves superior to anyone of any race - except perhaps eaton/oxford schooled 300lb brits though I dare say that women of all races, as long as they are attractive, are also quite acceptable.

    Since all seem to feel free to lampoon a stereotype of the big tall, boot wearin, Texan with a drawl - why would you think there is any difference with any other type of stereotype? and those of you who are so high and mighty and PC are the same ones who I see referring to women as "bitches" or reffering to them as objects, frequent blonde jokes, "10 reasons women or men, etc." - or portraying palestinians or iraqis or afghans in a less than flattering way - why do think that this is different? It is not.

    Now we dont allow any hate filled remarks on AR, "racist" or not - but too many darn people are crying racist these days and they dont have a damn idea what that is about. Sir VC posts his jokes under a persona (for those of you who know what one is) - I have seen through his posts on other boards that he is consistent in this and flames everyone equally. - you guys have got to learn the difference - your minds have been so washed by the PC police in the press that I am not sure some of you know when real racism smacks you in the face.

    Sir VC - I would have thought a "Samuria Syringe Sepuku" would have been injected in the abs
    Right on the money

  38. #38
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BigGreen


    each time BigTexan gets done with a set of squats, he hoops and hollers while shooting his six gun into the air of his gym.
    The only reason he does this BG is because he always forgets to take off his spurs before he squats!!



    yup BG, that's right, you've got us figured out. the gyms down here look like try-outs for the Cowboy in the Village People, come see for yourself...

  39. #39
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    Originally posted by ripped4fsu


    The only reason he does this BG is because he always forgets to take off his spurs before he squats!!



    yup BG, that's right, you've got us figured out. the gyms down here look like try-outs for the Cowboy in the Village People, come see for yourself...

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Victorian guy, V.C.
    Anyway, any of you bros tried such insane injecting procedures? Or two thousand mg's a day? Good Lord!!


    __________________
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