tuesday's jokes!!

[paulastone]

Joke 1

At the skydiving training course, the instructor would take time to answer some of the First Timer Questions. One guy asked: "If our chute doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground?" The instructor looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."




joke 2 :the return of the blond jokes" hehe

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more dead gators. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[JasonNew-b]

Good ones.

[Valmont]

lmao