06-24-2003, 09:51 PM #1
100 Reasons It's Great To Be A Guy...
Sorry for no numbers! Couldn't copy and paste them.
100 reasons why it's great to be a guy
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Monday Nite Football.
You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
Your toilet lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give you crap if you've gained weight.
Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
All your orgasms are real.
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
You understand why Con-Air is funny.
You can go to the toilet with out a support group.
Your last name stays put.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
When your work is criticised, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
You can kill your own food.
The garage is all yours.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
You never have to clean the toilet.
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
The National College Cheerleading Championship.
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
You can write your name in the snow.
You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
Flowers fix everything.
You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
You get to think about sex 98% of your waking hours.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
Foreplay is optional.
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
You can watch a game in silence with your mate for hours without even thinking "He must be mad at me".
The world is your urinal.
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
You get to jump up and slap stuff.
Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
One mood, all the time.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too sleazy.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
Same work....more pay.
Grey hair and lines add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
Wedding Dress $3000; Tuxedo rental $100.
You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
With 400 million sperm per go, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, in theory.
You don't mooch off others' desserts.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
ESPN's Sports Center.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
Bachelor parties kick ass over bridal showers.
You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the toilet.
If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends "you've changed".
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
There is always a game on somewhere.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood.
You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
If something mechanical didn't work, you can smash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
You can rationalise any behaviour with the handy phrase "F##k it!"
06-24-2003, 10:22 PM #2
06-24-2003, 10:24 PM #3
Re: 100 Reasons It's Great To Be A Guy...Originally posted by RoNNy THe BuLL
The world is your urinal.
06-25-2003, 01:20 AM #4LORDBLiTZ Guest
100 Reasons It's Great To Be A Guy
06-25-2003, 08:47 AM #5
"You can eat a banana in a hardware store."
06-28-2003, 01:06 AM #6
"You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. "
the only one that made me laugh, and boy did i laugh!
06-28-2003, 12:37 PM #7
I dunno but, I enjoy being a girl!
06-28-2003, 02:52 PM #8Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
good shit bro!
06-29-2003, 02:19 AM #9Retired Vet
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
"You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid." - Never a truer word said my friend.
(fat bitches do this all the time)
06-29-2003, 03:09 AM #10Associate Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2002
"You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked."
07-01-2003, 03:27 AM #11
No one wonders if you swallow.
That made me laugh because I just asked a girl that while driving her home from the river.
Question was" Do you spit or swallow?" She actually laughed. The kind of laugh like, yeah you wish you knew
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