Thread: The Most Functional Word
06-25-2003, 07:35 AM #1
The Most Functional Word
Well, it's shit........
That's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can be shit faced, Shit out of luck, Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, Find a place for your shit Or decide to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, Buy shit, sell shit, Lose shit, find shit, Forget shit, And tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit, While others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, Dumb shits, Crazy shits, And sweet shits.
There is bull shit, Horse shit And chicken shit.
You can throw shit, Sling shit, Catch shit, Shoot the shit, Or duck when shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit Or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit Or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, Some days are hotter than shit, And some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, Things can look like shit, And there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, Not enough shit, The right shit, The wrong shit, Or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, Have a mountain of shit, Or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit, And other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, It's the basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit, You don't need to know anything else!
06-25-2003, 07:51 AM #2VET
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
And when they say you don't know Jack Shit.......
Who is Jack Schitt?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
06-26-2003, 12:08 AM #3
but i think the second most functional word is dude
it can be used so many different ways for different meanings
aint that some shit
also key thats some funny shit
Last edited by Tapout; 06-26-2003 at 12:11 AM.
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