Positive Aspects of Pollution
First and foremost, I feel we should all recognize that without pollution the world wouldn't have nearly as many physical abominations as it does. Deformities provide us with countless hours of pure, unadulterated entertainment. I think we can all enjoy an eight-toed, cyclopsian child that lacks any visible genitalia whatsoever every now and then.
Without pollution, we would never see that beautiful multi-colored sheen floating delicately across the surface of our lakes and oceans. The world would be free of the periodic surprises our children have grown accustomed to finding when frolicking freely in our parks. Where would little Johnny be now without that used syringe he found while playing on the playground at school? Lying face down, dead and raped in an abandoned mine shaft, that's where.
Once upon a time, our ozone layer was nothing more than a boring, simple sphere encompassing our great planet. But thanks to pollution, it now has fun and interesting holes that are sure to make any alien on-lookers think, "Man alive, I wish we had some sweet holes like those in our ozone layer." And while those aliens were thinking that we'd punch them in the junk.
You see, life isn't about purity and perfection. Rather, it's about all those things that make this world different and unique. It's about leaving a steamer on the hood of your neighbor's car simply because she's fat and gross. It's about showing up at an AA meeting high as a kite and then leaving drug peraphernalia around because they're probably fat too. And, above all, life is about grabbing Nature by the balls and saying, "If I could, I'd shit in your mouth."
Re: Positive Aspects of Pollution
Quote:
Originally posted by Nathan
But thanks to pollution, it now has fun and interesting holes that are sure to make any alien on-lookers think, "Man alive, I wish we had some sweet holes like those in our ozone layer." And while those aliens were thinking that we'd punch them in the junk.
:lol: That was great!
Re: Positive Aspects of Pollution
Quote:
Originally posted by Nathan
First and foremost, I feel we should all recognize that without pollution the world wouldn't have nearly as many physical abominations as it does. Deformities provide us with countless hours of pure, unadulterated entertainment. I think we can all enjoy an eight-toed, cyclopsian child that lacks any visible genitalia whatsoever every now and then.
You foolish, insensitive bastard. I'm not so much perturbed at the fact that you've bought into the leftist bullshit that pollution inevitably yields freaks, as I am grossly offended, and indeed dissapointed at the manner in which your doing so instantaneously devalues the lifetime work of my father and men like him. Every goddamn day my dad woke up at the ass crack of dawn to go toil at the cyclopsian child factory, wearing his fingers down to the bone constructing little tykes with only one eye...play some mad, deranged god, if you will; a god with a drafting board, a pocket protector and a penchant for creating tragic freaks. And don't get me started on the eight toes! At xmas my dad couldn't even help trim the tree, his hands would be shaking so bad from trying to fit eight toes on each foot of the little bastards (who would be terribly tempermental come xmas time)...and oh yes, working on xmas eve is the reality down at the freak factory my friends. My dad was not a smart man, nor was he a rich man, but by god, when he constructed a one-eyed, extra-toed freak, he put every fiber of his being into it....and well, then to have unappreciative jerks like yourself write off his accomplishments to POLLUTION, of all things!?!?! Well, I'm afraid i just don't know what to say to that one.
