I'm so sexually frustrated!!!!!! UGH

**GirlyGymRat** · 11-30-2016, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by PistolPete33

Nope. She says she doesn't and is sad when I told her I was planning on filing because I can't live like this any longer.

Maybe she will reconsider counseling. Perhaps one she picks?!?

Worth another conversation....

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**Obs** · 11-30-2016, 11:28 PM

Your vows must have been different from the traditional ones. In sickness and in health...
In a town I lived in a 400 lb fat, fat, man got Lyme disease. He never recovered fully and it took him two years to get mobile. When it was over he was 150 lb, walked with a cane, and looked like shit. Lyme disease is not a cold and lots don't survive it. 7 months and only had sex twice.... I have five kids... That's where we separate the faithful from the unfaithful. I have gone longer without. You will hurt her. One day she will wake up and realize she is glad you did. My wife and I fought like hell, we went through hell. She withheld sex and we hated each other at times. One day I got a text at work eating lunch and I said to my bud, "read this" it was a text from my ex saying she had rented a house and was moving out. This was totally out of the blue, we hadn't been fighting. Yeah I went through a world of shit. Now looking back I wish it would have ended long ago but I am still glad I didn't give up. She left, she met someone else, she quit. She has begged for me back since. I always come back the same way, "FUCK YOU YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE".
DO NOT HOLD ON TO THINGS THAT AREN'T THERE. DON'T CHEAT, IF YOU CHEAT YOU ARE A POS. YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 08:01 AM

It goes beyond vows. She's more than capable of being intimate and yet she uses excuses to get out of doing anything.

A few weeks ago my son had a b-day party to go to and she promised she would take him. The day before she didn't want to take him so she begged him not to go. On the day of the party she told him she would take him to Toys-R-Us and he could buy himself anything he wanted if he skipped the party. He didn't want to skip the party. Then, 5 minutes before leaving she said she was too sick to go. Funny, that she was fine ALL DAY long AND later that night but for the few hours she had to take him she was sick. Needless to say I got stuck taking him

She still works full time so she's capable of doing things. Yes, I honor my vows but in my view when you stop being a wife the vows are void. My happiness for the rest of my life is much more important than the vows I made 12 years ago.

**Obs** · 12-01-2016, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by PistolPete33

It goes beyond vows. She's more than capable of being intimate and yet she uses excuses to get out of doing anything.

A few weeks ago my son had a b-day party to go to and she promised she would take him. The day before she didn't want to take him so she begged him not to go. On the day of the party she told him she would take him to Toys-R-Us and he could buy himself anything he wanted if he skipped the party. He didn't want to skip the party. Then, 5 minutes before leaving she said she was too sick to go. Funny, that she was fine ALL DAY long AND later that night but for the few hours she had to take him she was sick. Needless to say I got stuck taking him

She still works full time so she's capable of doing things. Yes, I honor my vows but in my view when you stop being a wife the vows are void. My happiness for the rest of my life is much more important than the vows I made 12 years ago.

I'm not trying to make an enemy but she stops being your wife when you hand her the papers. If you CHEAT you are a piece of shit I don't care what the situation is. Its just that simple. You at least say "hey we are done I found someone else". Your putting your pecker ahead of her. I beat off many years a couple months to serve papers won't kill you.

**kelkel** · 12-01-2016, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by Euroholic

Don't do it bloke, remember your vowels

Consonants too!

Aww crap. You guys beat me to it....

**-Ender-** · 12-01-2016, 09:20 AM

I believe that great pride should be taken in an steadfast Moral Compass. Regardless of situation.

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 10:24 AM

Like I said I've never cheated on her and have no intentions of doing so. I was joking when I was talking about this other girl. She's way too young and I'm not going to throw away 15 years of a relationship just so I can get laid.

I'm just beyond frustrated and I've been doing everything I can to stay sane. I'm just very close to my breaking point right now with her and I'm looking towards my future. I hope she will recover from this. I've invested a ton into her getting better. Her Primary care physician wouldn't diagnose her with Lyme and we knew it's what she has. I forced her to go outside our insurance and find a Lyme specialist which we did. We pay out of pocket for this but her health is more important than money.

I just wish I could convince her that she needs to put some effort back into our relationship esp. where I've done nothing but compromise on everything and I've been bending over backwards doing EVERYTHING for our family with no appreciation in return.

**Obs** · 12-01-2016, 10:51 AM

I love that post sir! I hope you get 100% from her soon! I pray it all works out for you! God bless!

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

I love that post sir! I hope you get 100% from her soon! I pray it all works out for you! God bless!

Thank you very much. It will work out in the end. One way or another. I love my wife and I always will. Even if we were to ever separate I will always love her. I just need her to obviously get healthy again and start working on our relationship again.

**ghettoboyd** · 12-01-2016, 03:02 PM

is this something that cant be cured for her?.... I only ask because I had a good friend get lime and he took a pill for 2-3 weeks and Is better now...how long did she have it before it was finally being treated?...

**NACH3** · 12-01-2016, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by RigPig

Not to sound like a dick but you sound like you've made up your mind and are looking for people to make you feel good about.
Tell death do you part man, not till you quit putting out.
A marriage to me is more then banging her every day.If mine don't put out I'll twist one off and go on about my shit.
She'll come around.
Maybe take her away for a weekend and try to reignite that flame brother.

Good points here - but I can see both ways certainly!

Pete it seems like you two haven't sat down in a positive environment or haven't communicated enough(please do correct me if i am wrong)...
Question - do the talks ever start as a fight rather than a conversation??...

Edit - read your post above and I get you Pete it's frustrating when things change etc... you know what to do brotha - ^^ but do those convos ever start in an argument?

**TRA** · 12-01-2016, 03:42 PM

How old is she? Maybe see if she's willing to see a doc who does bioidentical hormones for women. Libido in women responds to proper hormone levels as well, and can make her feel a lot better in general if she is off.

**Obs** · 12-01-2016, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by TrailRunAZ

How old is she? Maybe see if she's willing to see a doc who does bioidentical hormones for women. Libido in women responds to proper hormone levels as well, and can make her feel a lot better in general if she is off.

Good point here. I know a guy who's wife went totally asexual on him. He found out it was her birth control screwing her hormones up. She came off and he beat that poosay up every night and bragged about it.

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by TrailRunAZ

How old is she? Maybe see if she's willing to see a doc who does bioidentical hormones for women. Libido in women responds to proper hormone levels as well, and can make her feel a lot better in general if she is off.

I've discussed this with her and we've talked about getting her full hormone panels checked. She was somewhat open to it. I've been on TRT now for years and I'm almost positive I have no live swimmers left anyways. I did a home sperm count test and it came up negative. Obviously, if we went this route I would see an Endo to be sure I was 100% not capable of having kids or I would just get fixed. I thought about slipping her some Anavar with her current meds. She's taking so much now she would never know. haha

She would see what it's like being a guy and having to deal with being horny all the time.

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by NACH3

Good points here - but I can see both ways certainly!

Pete it seems like you two haven't sat down in a positive environment or haven't communicated enough(please do correct me if i am wrong)...
Question - do the talks ever start as a fight rather than a conversation??...

Edit - read your post above and I get you Pete it's frustrating when things change etc... you know what to do brotha - ^^ but do those convos ever start in an argument?

They usually don't. We don't argue too much to be totally honest. She does get very defensive whenever I bring it up though. I've tried everything. I spent 2 weeks just focusing on her emotional needs. Cuddling, rubbing her back, holding her hand, hugging her, cleaning the house, etc. I thought maybe I was being shut off because her needs weren't being met. I was wrong nothing changed.

I think it's honestly either hormonal, or depression. I've mentioned the depression thing to her and she just blows me off about it.

**TRA** · 12-01-2016, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by PistolPete33

They usually don't. We don't argue too much to be totally honest. She does get very defensive whenever I bring it up though. I've tried everything. I spent 2 weeks just focusing on her emotional needs. Cuddling, rubbing her back, holding her hand, hugging her, cleaning the house, etc. I thought maybe I was being shut off because her needs weren't being met. I was wrong nothing changed.

I think it's honestly either hormonal, or depression. I've mentioned the depression thing to her and she just blows me off about it.

I dig this forum more every day - never thought I would see a man admit to meeting a woman's emotional needs on here, not to mention CUDDLING, but I dig it! And Nach's comments about a positive environment, etc., good stuff man! I am a sensitive guy and have no issues being sensitive to what my girlfriend needs and it is refreshing to see that type of discussion on here, especially by a bunch of guys throwing iron.
I think she doesn't realize what she has in you and hopefully doesn't have to lose the relationship to find out.
I don't think you have to separate hormone imbalance from depression because for me one led to the other. I'd say get the lab work first and foremost and see what it tells you. I have no idea for a woman but I am sure someone on this board would know. Good luck man and thanks for being open and honest about your attempts to be a real man by being sensitive to your wife, especially in the face of not getting intimacy.

BG · 12-01-2016, 07:05 PM

She need to take all those medications? Have you checked out if some of them have bad side effects towards her sex drive?

**PistolPete33** · 12-01-2016, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by BG

She need to take all those medications? Have you checked out if some of them have bad side effects towards her sex drive?

She's on a strong antibiotic to kill the Lyme. Because of that she's on a super strong probiotic to combat the antibiotic. The antibiotic is causing her problems with yeast infections which she has to take something to stop that. The Doxy causes her blisters on her hands so she can't take that any longer. She takes another pill every day to help prevent the yeast infections.

On top of this she takes another liquid med to treat her co-infection for Babezia. Then, they have her on herbal remedies that help expel the toxins and to help her detox. Before all of this she never took any meds at all daily.

It's def. possible this is killing her sex drive but I honestly think it's something else. Our sex life has had major decline over the past 2 years and before she got sick we were bordering on divorce because of it.

I'm ultra-frustrated about the lack of sex today. It's fucking tearing me apart. She doesn't even care which makes it so much worse.

**Euroholic** · 12-01-2016, 09:33 PM

I support and believe in marriage even tho i know it is not for me. Which is why i will not take the covenant.
Mate you signed your name so you must stick it out the good times and the bad. All we have in this world is our word, our honour and self respect so the good comes with the bad. Yes you are in a rough time but "such is life" as they say.

Your wife is clearly suffering physically, mentally and emotionally she needs treatment and support, maybe even a bit of old school romance. Good luck mate but don't divorce her.

**Euroholic** · 12-01-2016, 09:41 PM

Not directed at the op just a rant

Divorce is another thing thats wrong with society today people are just to eager to live in the now and not hold themselves accountable to their word. Marriage is forever not just until you want something different. Don't like it then dont accept the convenant its that simple.
But lets just say in this modern world we live in where more is better if you are sick of something you just cast it aside. Out with the old in with the new. Just suck it up and do what you said you would do when you said "forever" have a little self respect society.

**RaginCajun** · 12-02-2016, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by Euroholic

Not directed at the op just a rant Divorce is another thing thats wrong with society today people are just to eager to live in the now and not hold themselves accountable to their word. Marriage is forever not just until you want something different. Don't like it then dont accept the convenant its that simple. But lets just say in this modern world we live in where more is better if you are sick of something you just cast it aside. Out with the old in with the new. Just suck it up and do what you said you would do when you said "forever" have a little self respect society.

Might be the best thing you have ever posted on here Euro

**calgarian** · 12-02-2016, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by RaginCajun

Might be the best thing you have ever posted on here Euro

And without irritating me

To OP....
May be she needs some TLC. She is been with you for 15 years things dont change over night. May be try and help her more then usual. You mentioned cpl of times that she works full time. Can she stay home and not work? I guess this is not an option. You are thinking with your d!ck think with your mind. There is lot going on with her and every time she sees you she sees a horny man. If it the "old calgarian" I probably would have told you that go bone some chick I am not that person anymore. Either she needs some TLC to get over all this stress. or she is cheating on you. How many times you asked her "Honey how was your day at work?" not trying to be a d!ck just trying to make you see the different angle.

**RigPig** · 12-02-2016, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by RaginCajun

Might be the best thing you have ever posted on here Euro

My thoughts exactly. Good Post Euro!

**Slowhand** · 12-03-2016, 01:09 AM

If you're going to cheat, hire a professional. The two worlds will never collide.

**PistolPete33** · 12-03-2016, 08:16 AM

We had her appointment with her Lyme specialist yesterday and it went really well. He is very happy with her progress and is taking her off several of the meds. He's adding in another antibiotic that she will take for 4-6 weeks and then she's coming off. He said at that point she should be mostly cleared and will continue with just some herbal meds to ensure it doesn't come back.

Fingers crossed that this is the light at the end of the tunnel.

**< <Samson> >** · 12-03-2016, 09:07 AM

Very tough & real

Real shitty man :/

I have nothing to add over what was already said

Sexual urges r a bitch when you can't get them out of your system. They can cause serious mental issues all over the place.

One real way is to literally kill your drive & we know how that's done

2 - is just pay to play

3 - live with it & shut up

4 - be a scum bag. Just come up on some good pussy & do what we do best.

I tried them all - and I have been beyond lucky enough to have the most understanding wife. We do - what we do. And it's just fine. Lol

But, sadly in your cause - health issues are the issue & not typical personal disputes

**< <Samson> >** · 12-03-2016, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by RaginCajun

Might be the best thing you have ever posted on here Euro

Ain't that the truth - excellent way to put it

It's extremely difficult to keep a marriage together in the world we live in now.

**Sehdee** · 12-03-2016, 12:31 PM

buy a fleshlight and watch porn

**PistolPete33** · 12-03-2016, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Sehdee

buy a fleshlight and watch porn

I bought an Autoblow with the real doll blowjob attachment. Works pretty good actually. haha

**elastica** · 12-04-2016, 04:52 PM

PistolPete33, I really feel for you. It's not easy being the healthy part of a relationship where one person has Lyme. There are many, many divorces in the Lyme world. A lot of suicides too. I don't think it's that your wife doesn't care, but she probably doesn't have the energy to show it.

With lyme it is normal to be feeling quite okay in one moment and then terrible in another instant. Profound fatigue stems from mitochondrial insufficiency. Everyone with lyme suffers from a degree of HPA dysfunction, so hormones are most certainly out of whack. This usually improves with proper lyme treatment. The instant one is infected with lyme, the spirochetes can be quickly found in CSF fluid. Once the bacteria reach the brain, they literally wreak havoc on every single facet and system of the human body. Disseminated disease can take many years to treat.

Lyme can make social situations an utter nightmare that exerts bodily effects for days afterwards. The stimulation of groups of people, smells, events, noises, traveling, etc taxes the adrenals heavily and can take days to recover from. It can be very contrary to work with professionals that aren't "lyme literate" (doctors, counselors, specialists, etc). Suggestions that are good for normal folks can often be harmful to those with lyme. Unless one is unfortunate enough to suffer from lyme themselves or walks hand-in-hand with a loved one who does, the intricacies of the disease and its profound effects on the body are often incomprehensible. Lyme disease is utterly isolating to the affected individual.

(link to Open Letter to Families of Lyme)

It sounds like your wife still has a lot of symptoms. I would be very, very wary of discontinuing treatment until all symptoms are gone. Dr. Burrascano (the doc who pioneered treating and curing lyme and coinfections with antibiotics) says that meds must be continued for at least two months after complete resolution of symptoms. Good lyme doctors will usually keep a patient on meds throughout the winter months to prevent relapses because the immune system has to work harder during that time.

(link to Burrascano Guidelines)

The skill and expertise of the doctor is so important when it comes to getting rid of lyme. Good lyme doctors are few and far between. You need to treat all forms of the lyme bacterium, treat for all coinfections, and address all co-morbidities of the body. Proper treatment not only kills infectious organisms, but also detoxes and fortifies the body. The doctor should be known for CURING their lyme patients and you should be able to find cured patients to speak to before beginning with a doc.

I have been living with this nightmare for years, actively treating for the last couple with a top notch doctor. There was a point in time where my husband could have written some of your sentiments. I felt desperately guilty that I had no control over my body's not reacting and having no desire. I was frustrated that I was incapable of being the wife and mother that I wanted and needed to be. I was sick on such a deep level that surviving was my first priority, as much as I could manage it around life that I couldn't escape from. With all the crazy simultaneous shit lyme does to the body there is a lot that goes on that stays inside and remains unmentioned, while completely unnoticeable to those seeing us on the outside.

I know you are just venting, and it is really important that you do. Your local lyme support group may be able to direct you to a support group for "spouses/caretakers of those with lyme" or something similar. Advice relevant to your situation that is "lyme literate" might be incredibly helpful if you wish to remain with your wife through this and find a happy balance for yourself.

**Obs** · 12-04-2016, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by elastica

PistolPete33, I really feel for you. It's not easy being the healthy part of a relationship where one person has Lyme. There are many, many divorces in the Lyme world. A lot of suicides too. I don't think it's that your wife doesn't care, but she probably doesn't have the energy to show it.

With lyme it is normal to be feeling quite okay in one moment and then terrible in another instant. Profound fatigue stems from mitochondrial insufficiency. Everyone with lyme suffers from a degree of HPA dysfunction, so hormones are most certainly out of whack. This usually improves with proper lyme treatment. The instant one is infected with lyme, the spirochetes can be quickly found in CSF fluid. Once the bacteria reach the brain, they literally wreak havoc on every single facet and system of the human body. Disseminated disease can take many years to treat.

Lyme can make social situations an utter nightmare that exerts bodily effects for days afterwards. The stimulation of groups of people, smells, events, noises, traveling, etc taxes the adrenals heavily and can take days to recover from. It can be very contrary to work with professionals that aren't "lyme literate" (doctors, counselors, specialists, etc). Suggestions that are good for normal folks can often be harmful to those with lyme. Unless one is unfortunate enough to suffer from lyme themselves or walks hand-in-hand with a loved one who does, the intricacies of the disease and its profound effects on the body are often incomprehensible. Lyme disease is utterly isolating to the affected individual.

(link to Open Letter to Families of Lyme)

It sounds like your wife still has a lot of symptoms. I would be very, very wary of discontinuing treatment until all symptoms are gone. Dr. Burrascano (the doc who pioneered treating and curing lyme and coinfections with antibiotics) says that meds must be continued for at least two months after complete resolution of symptoms. Good lyme doctors will usually keep a patient on meds throughout the winter months to prevent relapses because the immune system has to work harder during that time.

(link to Burrascano Guidelines)

The skill and expertise of the doctor is so important when it comes to getting rid of lyme. Good lyme doctors are few and far between. You need to treat all forms of the lyme bacterium, treat for all coinfections, and address all co-morbidities of the body. Proper treatment not only kills infectious organisms, but also detoxes and fortifies the body. The doctor should be known for CURING their lyme patients and you should be able to find cured patients to speak to before beginning with a doc.

I have been living with this nightmare for years, actively treating for the last couple with a top notch doctor. There was a point in time where my husband could have written some of your sentiments. I felt desperately guilty that I had no control over my body's not reacting and having no desire. I was frustrated that I was incapable of being the wife and mother that I wanted and needed to be. I was sick on such a deep level that surviving was my first priority, as much as I could manage it around life that I couldn't escape from. With all the crazy simultaneous shit lyme does to the body there is a lot that goes on that stays inside and remains unmentioned, while completely unnoticeable to those seeing us on the outside.

I know you are just venting, and it is really important that you do. Your local lyme support group may be able to direct you to a support group for "spouses/caretakers of those with lyme" or something similar. Advice relevant to your situation that is "lyme literate" might be incredibly helpful if you wish to remain with your wife through this and find a happy balance for yourself.

Nice work! That must have taken a bit to put together! I give you my respects!

**PistolPete33** · 12-04-2016, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by elastica

PistolPete33, I really feel for you. It's not easy being the healthy part of a relationship where one person has Lyme. There are many, many divorces in the Lyme world. A lot of suicides too. I don't think it's that your wife doesn't care, but she probably doesn't have the energy to show it.

With lyme it is normal to be feeling quite okay in one moment and then terrible in another instant. Profound fatigue stems from mitochondrial insufficiency. Everyone with lyme suffers from a degree of HPA dysfunction, so hormones are most certainly out of whack. This usually improves with proper lyme treatment. The instant one is infected with lyme, the spirochetes can be quickly found in CSF fluid. Once the bacteria reach the brain, they literally wreak havoc on every single facet and system of the human body. Disseminated disease can take many years to treat.

Lyme can make social situations an utter nightmare that exerts bodily effects for days afterwards. The stimulation of groups of people, smells, events, noises, traveling, etc taxes the adrenals heavily and can take days to recover from. It can be very contrary to work with professionals that aren't "lyme literate" (doctors, counselors, specialists, etc). Suggestions that are good for normal folks can often be harmful to those with lyme. Unless one is unfortunate enough to suffer from lyme themselves or walks hand-in-hand with a loved one who does, the intricacies of the disease and its profound effects on the body are often incomprehensible. Lyme disease is utterly isolating to the affected individual.

(link to Open Letter to Families of Lyme)

It sounds like your wife still has a lot of symptoms. I would be very, very wary of discontinuing treatment until all symptoms are gone. Dr. Burrascano (the doc who pioneered treating and curing lyme and coinfections with antibiotics) says that meds must be continued for at least two months after complete resolution of symptoms. Good lyme doctors will usually keep a patient on meds throughout the winter months to prevent relapses because the immune system has to work harder during that time.

(link to Burrascano Guidelines)

The skill and expertise of the doctor is so important when it comes to getting rid of lyme. Good lyme doctors are few and far between. You need to treat all forms of the lyme bacterium, treat for all coinfections, and address all co-morbidities of the body. Proper treatment not only kills infectious organisms, but also detoxes and fortifies the body. The doctor should be known for CURING their lyme patients and you should be able to find cured patients to speak to before beginning with a doc.

I have been living with this nightmare for years, actively treating for the last couple with a top notch doctor. There was a point in time where my husband could have written some of your sentiments. I felt desperately guilty that I had no control over my body's not reacting and having no desire. I was frustrated that I was incapable of being the wife and mother that I wanted and needed to be. I was sick on such a deep level that surviving was my first priority, as much as I could manage it around life that I couldn't escape from. With all the crazy simultaneous shit lyme does to the body there is a lot that goes on that stays inside and remains unmentioned, while completely unnoticeable to those seeing us on the outside.

I know you are just venting, and it is really important that you do. Your local lyme support group may be able to direct you to a support group for "spouses/caretakers of those with lyme" or something similar. Advice relevant to your situation that is "lyme literate" might be incredibly helpful if you wish to remain with your wife through this and find a happy balance for yourself.

He said he wouldn't stop treatment until she was 100% symptom free for at least one month. He also said that the symptoms she was currently having were most likely from the med she was taking for her confection. He wants her to come off of antibiotics to let her natural bacteria to get back to normal. He said the herbal meds will still attack the Lyme bacteria but don't mess with her natural bacteria. He is hopeful she won't have to go back on antibitiotics but it's not ruled out.

Thank you for this post it is very helpful.

**< <Samson> >** · 12-05-2016, 08:23 AM

I think about this kind of shit every once in a while. What, would your significant other do if something just went wrong your health.

Like my wife for instance - we get along as well as getting along is possible, so on & so on. . . But, after the few health issues I had last year, it seems like we just could not make it if I wasn't all there any more. . . . I think health issues are prob the #1(or 2 to finances) that will make or break a couple.

Try to take it easy man, almost at any cost - stressing out, just don't help < easier said than done, that I know

**DCI** · 12-05-2016, 10:18 AM

Man read all the posts I don't have much to say really other than jesus what a terrible 2 years for ye both.

Hopefully ye can both work past your differences and venting helps a lot.

**PistolPete33** · 12-05-2016, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by DCI

Man read all the posts I don't have much to say really other than jesus what a terrible 2 years for ye both.

Hopefully ye can both work past your differences and venting helps a lot.

It definitely feels better to vent. She's not a terrible person by any stretch just been a difficult couple of years. Once she's recovered we'll see how she changes.

**DCI** · 12-05-2016, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by PistolPete33

It definitely feels better to vent. She's not a terrible person by any stretch just been a difficult couple of years. Once she's recovered we'll see how she changes.

It's never easy esp when you feel you're trying your best but 15 yrs is a long time to just throw away.

Try and have a conversation with her and see how ye can move forward it won't be easy but it will help clear the air.

**tarmyg** · 12-06-2016, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by elastica

PistolPete33, I really feel for you. It's not easy being the healthy part of a relationship where one person has Lyme. There are many, many divorces in the Lyme world. A lot of suicides too. I don't think it's that your wife doesn't care, but she probably doesn't have the energy to show it.

With lyme it is normal to be feeling quite okay in one moment and then terrible in another instant. Profound fatigue stems from mitochondrial insufficiency. Everyone with lyme suffers from a degree of HPA dysfunction, so hormones are most certainly out of whack. This usually improves with proper lyme treatment. The instant one is infected with lyme, the spirochetes can be quickly found in CSF fluid. Once the bacteria reach the brain, they literally wreak havoc on every single facet and system of the human body. Disseminated disease can take many years to treat.

Lyme can make social situations an utter nightmare that exerts bodily effects for days afterwards. The stimulation of groups of people, smells, events, noises, traveling, etc taxes the adrenals heavily and can take days to recover from. It can be very contrary to work with professionals that aren't "lyme literate" (doctors, counselors, specialists, etc). Suggestions that are good for normal folks can often be harmful to those with lyme. Unless one is unfortunate enough to suffer from lyme themselves or walks hand-in-hand with a loved one who does, the intricacies of the disease and its profound effects on the body are often incomprehensible. Lyme disease is utterly isolating to the affected individual.

(link to Open Letter to Families of Lyme)

It sounds like your wife still has a lot of symptoms. I would be very, very wary of discontinuing treatment until all symptoms are gone. Dr. Burrascano (the doc who pioneered treating and curing lyme and coinfections with antibiotics) says that meds must be continued for at least two months after complete resolution of symptoms. Good lyme doctors will usually keep a patient on meds throughout the winter months to prevent relapses because the immune system has to work harder during that time.

(link to Burrascano Guidelines)

The skill and expertise of the doctor is so important when it comes to getting rid of lyme. Good lyme doctors are few and far between. You need to treat all forms of the lyme bacterium, treat for all coinfections, and address all co-morbidities of the body. Proper treatment not only kills infectious organisms, but also detoxes and fortifies the body. The doctor should be known for CURING their lyme patients and you should be able to find cured patients to speak to before beginning with a doc.

I have been living with this nightmare for years, actively treating for the last couple with a top notch doctor. There was a point in time where my husband could have written some of your sentiments. I felt desperately guilty that I had no control over my body's not reacting and having no desire. I was frustrated that I was incapable of being the wife and mother that I wanted and needed to be. I was sick on such a deep level that surviving was my first priority, as much as I could manage it around life that I couldn't escape from. With all the crazy simultaneous shit lyme does to the body there is a lot that goes on that stays inside and remains unmentioned, while completely unnoticeable to those seeing us on the outside.

I know you are just venting, and it is really important that you do. Your local lyme support group may be able to direct you to a support group for "spouses/caretakers of those with lyme" or something similar. Advice relevant to your situation that is "lyme literate" might be incredibly helpful if you wish to remain with your wife through this and find a happy balance for yourself.

This ranks as one of the top most helpful posts I have ever seen on these forums. Truly amazing post!