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Thread: This is where I will be before I die.

  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    By the way biz, I have a question for you.
    When I inject especially the two days after, I can literally feel my thyroid as best as I can figure. Its not so much a pain as it is a sensation like a contracting muscle or a squeeze.
    My neck is very large but on test it blows up huge.
    Do you know what would cause something like this? At last observation my t3 levels were normal. Not worried, it just seems to be a lot more noticeable the last couple of months.
    You can't really feel the thyroid, there are no pain receptors there. You can though feel some pressure on adjacent structures. Doesn't necessarily have to the thyroid, could be anything including muscles.

    Hormones can interact with thyroid by either stimulating or inhibiting TSH to a small extent, also via down or upregulating TBG (thyroxine binding proteins). When there are such a sway in levels, the thyroid can feel swelled and this occurred to me when I first started T4. However, I don't really see this happening with frequent AAS injections.

  2. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    My personalized status, I convert my emotions to drive and willpower. I have a very twisted mind when lifting because I turn it all loose. I dont like anyone in my presence during workout. When someone speaks to me working out I tend to yell.
    Learning the dark places in your soul and heart and mind and how to channel it all into drive is an invaluable tool. I wish you well, its damn hard and I fail often.
    You know, I used to believe I already had everything explored but those dark places are like a bottomless pit.

    Thank you for wishing me well, I'll need it.
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  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sicko View Post
    Dang OBS...is that what labor is going for in your neck of the woods?
    Heck I would drag branches for $20 an hour!! I like that sort of work. Kinda like getting paid to workout!!
    I'm not saying you can live extravagantly off $20hr but for mindless branch hauling... I would be your huckleberry...ehehehhehh...
    East coast is paying the labors' Union 30+ an hr lol

  4. #164
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    20, 30 hourly? I better not tell what the average salary for manual work consists here, lol.

  5. #165
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    BTW obs, I think I've got it. My feelings atm are best described by the German word Weltschmerz. I'm plainly wishing for something that can't be, and I know it, that's why I'm turning angry. It's a kiddish reaction. But sometimes the pain is so distressing it almost feels physical.

    How long can a man put up with an endless stream of shit yet remain "clean" . I'm not sure my rationality will be enough hold everything in place in the future.

    I'm rambling, don't mind me.

  6. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by bizzarro View Post
    BTW obs, I think I've got it. My feelings atm are best described by the German word Weltschmerz. I'm plainly wishing for something that can't be, and I know it, that's why I'm turning angry. It's a kiddish reaction. But sometimes the pain is so distressing it almost feels physical.

    How long can a man put up with an endless stream of shit yet remain "clean" . I'm not sure my rationality will be enough hold everything in place in the future.

    I'm rambling, don't mind me.
    Ramble away, I dont mind a bit. Change what you can and hell with what you cant. What you cant change eats you alive like acid if you ponder it.
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  7. #167
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    Is it possible for adrenal function to be triggered by things other than the hypothalamus?
    Such as, adrenaline realeased without the hypothalamus being activate like in a stressful situation?
    I.E. the release of adrenaline, testosterone , and/or cortisol without fear trigger?

    Listening to music and being pumped vs. Being scared.
    There is no way in my mind the hypothalamus and adrenal glands react the same in both situations.
    I can literally turn it on or off at a whim...
    What do you think bizzaro?
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  8. #168
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    At lawyers office for what is to be a damn stressful situation for the next few hours. When this is over I will be floating on air hopefully.
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  9. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    Is it possible for adrenal function to be triggered by things other than the hypothalamus?
    Such as, adrenaline realeased without the hypothalamus being activate like in a stressful situation?
    I.E. the release of adrenaline, testosterone , and/or cortisol without fear trigger?

    Listening to music and being pumped vs. Being scared.
    There is no way in my mind the hypothalamus and adrenal glands react the same in both situations.
    I can literally turn it on or off at a whim...
    What do you think bizzaro?
    Why not?

    You are thinking at the hypothalamus like a rigid controller of bodily processes, but its functions go beyond maintaining homeostasis and deep into emotional, cognitive and intellectual and all is interconnected with control of stress response via release of hypothalamic peptides (CRH, TRH, GHRH, GnRH) signaling the pituitary to dispense its hormones into circulation.

    I don't know of alternative pathways to the adrenals but the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenals connection is already mediated by nervous control and thus affected by our very thoughts and emotions. F.ex, HPA over-activation is a common finding in clinical depression.
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  10. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by bizzarro View Post
    Why not?

    You are thinking at the hypothalamus like a rigid controller of bodily processes, but its functions go beyond maintaining homeostasis and deep into emotional, cognitive and intellectual and all is interconnected with control of stress response via release of hypothalamic peptides (CRH, TRH, GHRH, GnRH) signaling the pituitary to dispense its hormones into circulation.

    I don't know of alternative pathways to the adrenals but the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenals connection is already mediated by nervous control and thus affected by our very thoughts and emotions. F.ex, HPA over-activation is a common finding in clinical depression.
    This convo interests me a lot... if our HPA is the main 'hub' so to speak there has got to be a true evaluation being done o obviously had been done... His makes sense but our mind(brain) is wired throughout our spine and whole body thus making things(emotions, feel fe etc) set their pathways before we even know what's happening then right - flight or fight for ex?
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  11. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    At lawyers office for what is to be a damn stressful situation for the next few hours. When this is over I will be floating on air hopefully.
    Hope you will keep it all together buddy
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  12. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by NACH3 View Post
    This convo interests me a lot... if our HPA is the main 'hub' so to speak there has got to be a true evaluation being done o obviously had been done... His makes sense but our mind(brain) is wired throughout our spine and whole body thus making things(emotions, feel fe etc) set their pathways before we even know what's happening then right - flight or fight for ex?
    Of course release of (nor)adrenaline can be direct and independent from (ACTH mediated) adrenal activation, forgot to say.
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  13. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by bizzarro View Post
    Why not?

    You are thinking at the hypothalamus like a rigid controller of bodily processes, but its functions go beyond maintaining homeostasis and deep into emotional, cognitive and intellectual and all is interconnected with control of stress response via release of hypothalamic peptides (CRH, TRH, GHRH, GnRH) signaling the pituitary to dispense its hormones into circulation.

    I don't know of alternative pathways to the adrenals but the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenals connection is already mediated by nervous control and thus affected by our very thoughts and emotions. F.ex, HPA over-activation is a common finding in clinical depression.
    You are sharp as a razor.

  14. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by NACH3 View Post
    Hope you will keep it all together buddy
    Thanks! Its signed now and it is fai to say I won beyond words
    God help me its finally done!
    She signed divorce as fault on her, no child suppkrt or alimony and half custody! Signed and notarized!
    What a day!
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  15. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    You are sharp as a razor.
    Oh well I have to correct myself in that there is a specific portion of the adrenals - the medulla - that is in fact part of the autonomic nervous system and respond to sympathetic stimulation, that means release of cathecolamines from that area is independent from the HPA axis, yet it all traces back to the very governor of it all - the hypothalamus. Only, the signal travels down via the spinal cord.

    Being this low in Test is dumbing me down, duh.
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  16. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by bizzarro View Post
    Oh well I have to correct myself in that there is a specific portion of the adrenals - the medulla - that is in fact part of the autonomic nervous system and respond to sympathetic stimulation, that means release of cathecolamines from that area is independent from the HPA axis, yet it all traces back to the very governor of it all - the hypothalamus. Only, the signal travels down via the spinal cord.

    Being this low in Test is dumbing me down, duh.
    All I know is there is stages of adrenal function. There is pumped, fight or flight, and blackout.

    It is listed as involuntary but I believe that to be pure bullshit.
    I believe adrenal function is fully controlable and that more importantly cortisol is controllable.
    Some people get frightened bad enough doing something like riding a bull and black out, while others simply get pumped. High enough cortisol will cause you to cramp up and loose basic function.
    Whatever it is in our minds that controls the hypothalamus, is fully regulateable by simple thought.
    Special forces blood levels have been tested at the peak of hell training and it was found the elites had lower cortisol at the end of the day than the non-hackers that dropped out.
    Anyway, my point is that learning to turn it on or off at a whim can give you some impressive abilities over others in bad situations. I.E. thinking under a rush and not letting it consume you.

    I believe many many things are controlled by subconcious thought, especially hormones.

  17. #177
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    Btw biz, you are far from dumb. You impress the hell out of me all the time with what you know.

  18. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    Btw biz, you are far from dumb. You impress the hell out of me all the time with what you know.
    It's just that being too low in Test makes me feel rather out of focus. I've upped by a tad and I'm faring better today, however I feel much more weaker and flat muscle-wise, go figure.

    Heck, the day other I was about being smashed by a small caterpillar as I walked behind it and close to a wall as the driver put the rear. That was real dumb.

    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    All I know is there is stages of adrenal function. There is pumped, fight or flight, and blackout.

    It is listed as involuntary but I believe that to be pure bullshit.
    I believe adrenal function is fully controlable and that more importantly cortisol is controllable.
    Some people get frightened bad enough doing something like riding a bull and black out, while others simply get pumped. High enough cortisol will cause you to cramp up and loose basic function.
    Whatever it is in our minds that controls the hypothalamus, is fully regulateable by simple thought.
    Special forces blood levels have been tested at the peak of hell training and it was found the elites had lower cortisol at the end of the day than the non-hackers that dropped out.
    Anyway, my point is that learning to turn it on or off at a whim can give you some impressive abilities over others in bad situations. I.E. thinking under a rush and not letting it consume you.

    I believe many many things are controlled by subconcious thought, especially hormones.
    Of course it can be trained and it makes the difference in dangerous situations that require action. Hormones do make their part, androgens have long be know to be potent down regulators of HPA activity, especially DHT and its GABA-A agonist metabolite 3alpha-diol.

    Rather than stages of adrenal activation you should look at how your system can handle the adrenaline. Again, the androgens will help with adrenergic receptors configuration (favouring the beta and inhibiting the alpha) so that a focused burst of energy will be available to deal with a threatening situation. Inhibitory neurotransmitters like dopamine and the GABA that can counteract the excitatory cathecolamines also determine how we respond.
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  19. #179
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    Switched phones, old one broke, formatted sd card before I moved my pictures to internal storage, lost all my pictures.
    Just about pissed me off a little.

  20. #180
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    Everyone pray for my brother.

    I have not seen him in over a year and he is here with me tonight. He has a pro rodeo tomorrow and he has earned his place amoung the stars ten times over with blood and broken bones.
    This man taught me everything about never quitting and giving all. He is 33 and 195 lbs going up against a bunch of 20 year old 130 lb guys at a CBR bullride tomorrow.
    He is a true pro and blriding is the only thing keeping him alive. These new kids he is going against havent paid a tenth the price he has physically.

    Regardless of how you believe, I believe in collective faith and so does he, this man needs your prayers.
    Please mention him when and if you bow your head tomorrow.

    I am going with him tomorrow just to cinch his rope when he sets his bull. This is a three round bullride and he has been healing from a massive shoulder salvage operation for over a year.

    This guy defines tough. Give him your blessing please.
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  21. #181
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    is there any money in that shit?

    these guys take a beating man.

  22. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooseman33 View Post
    is there any money in that shit?

    these guys take a beating man.
    Maybe 10 grand tonight. Notenough.
    A world title will set you witha couple million after endorsements. They should be paidbetter but thepro orgs are money rackets that dont givea damn about the athletes.

  23. #183
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    I went to visit my mother with my girlfriend she has never met after almost two years.
    Last time she saw me I was 165 maybe and wound up and hated my life.

    She answered the door and we were standing on the porch. She said "hi" and paused " what can I do for you?"
    We stood there saying nothing and then she figured out who I was and it hit her like electrical shock and I leaned down and hugged her.
    I wasted a lot of time and life I won't get back. Was dumb of me. I got to see my little sister who has recovered a lot from manic depression. She is even working a job and is pretty much normal which astonishes me. The last time I saw her she was incapable of conversation.

    My father and I had a bad strained relationship, but he was tearfulwhen we had to leave that night.
    I wont be so dumb to shun people in the future.
    Amazing the way things change.

  24. #184
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    Out of this world leg day. Didnt want to do it at all. Now its done and my legs are giving out walking. Haven't done that good in a while.
    I quit timing myself between sets. Now I just go and its more effective. Fuck the egg timer or counting, just run it.

    That workout ripped me up. Must be the npp.

  25. #185
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    Moving! Get my own dungeon!
    Big step up from a storage locker. Gonna fill it though

  26. #186
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    Tren in delts...
    Mmmmm....
    On my way. I didnt forget. Just been neglecting this thread.

    I get two days off. I will eat good and wear nice clothes and lift like a crazy... Me.
    I will fuck the gf and enjoy life a little bit maybe?

  27. #187
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    No boozin on tren you maddie
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  28. #188
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    I'm tossing myself off over my Mrs star and stripes underwear, I know this may be disrespectful to your flag Obs but where is the line of disrespect. Can I toss myself off over your flag but cant walk over it or burn it??? I'm confused
    Last edited by marcus300; 10-28-2017 at 04:43 AM.
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  29. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcus300 View Post
    I'm tossing myself off over my Mrs star and stripes underwear, I know this may be disrespectful to your flag Obs but where is the line of disrespect. Can I toss myself off over your flag but cant walk over it or burn it??? I'm confused
    You can do what you want to any piece of cloth.

    A flag is not a flag unless it is taken down every night. My neighbor (former) did this every night. If you touch his flag he would shoot you in broad daylight in front of twenty cops. He sees it as something worth dying over which is very honorable. That flag symbolizes something sacred to him so a man better not fuck with it unless he wants to die.
    I have had the American flag on shirts etc. Not a big deal to me.
    Also what you see on tv is not how it is where I live there are actually quite a few real men here. These men would give you the shirt off their back and help you any way they could. If you step on something sacred of theirs though, they will give their last breath trying to take yours.

    Not everyone floats on a breeze and sways with a limp spine to whatever is popular belief at the time(not saying you do you have your own sacred things). The world is full of people who don't really believe in risking their ass believing in anything. Those people are all protected by men who do believe in something and hold things sacred to death.

    I know you Marcus well enough to know you arent going to take a flag down and burn it or desecrate it. Something like that is extremely unintelligent and that doesn't suit you at all.
    Last edited by Obs; 10-28-2017 at 05:16 PM.
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  30. #190
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    Attachment 170801

    Skipped atenolol doses...

    Wow...

    Alcohol would be good for me atm.
    I will be swing back by the house and eating a couple.

  31. #191
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    Wrists, particularly left has been hurting pretty nice. Figuring it is because I took time off. Gonna lift tonight somehow.

  32. #192
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    Looking at those BP values, are you sure you know what you're doing?

  33. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by rnsplg View Post
    Looking at those BP values, are you sure you know what you're doing?
    Sure do. Been here. I chose this and continue. Bp is much lower now.
    Put my atenolo up and fogot about it. That was amistake.

    A pill organizer would do me good.

  34. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke View Post
    Sure do. Been here. I chose this and continue. Bp is much lower now.
    Put my atenolo up and fogot about it. That was amistake.

    A pill organizer would do me good.
    Those BP readings are very high. Maybe you can choose the path with the same goal but without wrecking everything else?

    Here's mine after 11 weeks of test E and 5 weeks of anadrol 100mg per day.
    This is where I will be before I die.-img_20171030_014815.jpg
    Edit: this is late at night post training but the difference is small; HR up 5-10 BPM at most and BP very little lower


    Can't say I didn't feel sides, my normal off cycle BP is 100/60 and this change makes for huge lower back pumps and quick onset of pumps anywhere especially at my work which is physically demanding. It is much more manageable when I eat much cleaner though...

  35. #195
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    It would be very sad do to damage that will change your life before you even reach halfway to your goal...

  36. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by rnsplg View Post
    It would be very sad do to damage that will change your life before you even reach halfway to your goal...
    I have always had hypertension. Its not only aas. Eca and years of poor diet working away from home. I ate fast food every day for nearly 15 years. Probably have plaque etc.
    Blood pressure meds will be running me till I drop dead of heart attack or stroke. I just need to not skip doses.

    A couple weeks ago my bp was 130's over 85 or so

  37. #197
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    Lol well I have family members that have BP issues and if they'd ever get 170+ they'll run to the hospital, that's why I can always find an omron device wherever I go lol. Do you take dietary precautions now though for cardiovascular health? I do and I never even had issues.
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  38. #198
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    Can't change the past and can't live forever, I'd rather live and not starve or feel boredom either though!

  39. #199
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    Quote Originally Posted by rnsplg View Post
    Lol well I have family members that have BP issues and if they'd ever get 170+ they'll run to the hospital, that's why I can always find an omron device wherever I go lol. Do you take dietary precautions now though for cardiovascular health? I do and I never even had issues.
    I dont eat crap like I used to but once in a great while. I also believe I am wired hot I stay wound and bound and it doesnt help

  40. #200
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    Another kick ass bench session due to couchlokd. Added another ten lbs and held same reps. On my way.

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