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  1. #1
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
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    My beef with phones

    They should make a fully functional PHONE out of BEEF. Wild. Anyways, why the fuck do they call them "touch-tone" phones? I mean, you aren't touching a tone, and if you are you're doing something wrong and frankly I don't see how you could even be obeying the physical laws of this universe. And that makes me mad, when people ignore the laws of physics. Who the fuck do you think you are, I always say. No answer ever comes back either cause you need physics to be able to hear sound, which is stupid and entirely illogical. So, that's one and several reasons right there to passionately despise the communications industry. Furthermore, what the hell is up with cell phones and satellites? Frankly, if you can't afford your own damn satellite, I don't think you should be allowed to have a cell phone either. Don't ask me to explain my logic there because not only is it flawless, it's also without reason. So fuck phones and fuck you too.

  2. #2
    tdzzii72 is offline Associate Member
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  3. #3
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocturnal59
    I'm just tired of calling people all day everyday at work. MAkes a person not like phones or the people they're calling, ya know? Carry on.

  4. #4
    RoNNy THe BuLL's Avatar
    RoNNy THe BuLL is offline Anabolic Member
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    Hahaha....fuck you too!

  5. #5
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
    ripped4fsu is offline Anabolic Member
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    thats nice Nathan, Let us know when the Shuttle lands bro...

  6. #6
    Strut99GT's Avatar
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    I would go crazy if I spent all day on the phone. There's only so much one can take :P

  7. #7
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ripped4fsu
    thats nice Nathan, Let us know when the Shuttle lands bro...
    Okay. I think you're lying about there being a shuttle in the first place, but I'll still keep you posted.

  8. #8
    Rickson's Avatar
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    UMMMMM Meat Phones.

  9. #9
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hercules88
    which cut of beef would you recomend for your new phone? tell me too when the shuttle comes i want to see where you come from.
    Ground beef is probably the most malleable. I'd of course then cover it with several layers of lacquer to prevent it from going rotten and smelling funky.

  10. #10
    TheMudMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    Ground beef is probably the most malleable. I'd of course then cover it with several layers of lacquer to prevent it from going rotten and smelling funky.
    Shiny meat...... that just doesn't seem right.

  11. #11
    Catamount's Avatar
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    Alright you bitch about the phones and I'll bitch about computers. I'm so sick of sitting and looking into a monitor for 8 hours a day typing in data. If I didn't have this board I swear I would have a mental break down. That's my work bitch for the day.

  12. #12
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    You've a great idea there Nathan.....a meat phone....damn good idea. You can make a call or two then eat the phone. Don't lacquer it though, it should be labled with how many calls you can make on it before you're to eat it.

  13. #13
    Rastus is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    I'm just tired of calling people all day everyday at work. MAkes a person not like phones or the people they're calling, ya know? Carry on.
    That's what voice mail is for. Let it answer the calls, and call them back when and if you feel like it!

  14. #14
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
    Money Boss Hustla is offline Retired Moderator
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    In all honestly we are witnessing history being made…we are witnessing the world's biggest and greatest revolution ever. The Communication Revolution. In comparison, we are viewing the invention of the wheel. You may not realize it now but in 50-60 years from now you will be able to tell your grandchildren that you were part of a groundbreaking revolution that changed the galaxy, as we once knew it.

  15. #15
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla
    In all honestly we are witnessing history being made…we are witnessing the world's biggest and greatest revolution ever. The Communication Revolution. In comparison, we are viewing the invention of the wheel. You may not realize it now but in 50-60 years from now you will be able to tell your grandchildren that you were part of a groundbreaking revolution that changed the galaxy, as we once knew it.
    Yeah but only if they start making phones out of beef.

  16. #16
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    it should be labled with how many calls you can make on it before you're to eat it.
    While a seemingly good idea on the surface, we would see an epidemic of food poisoning in the less social among us, as they might take 15 days to make the requisite 10 phone calls that said beef phone producers assumed would take 6-7 days. Of course, this is one damn crafty way to root out the shy and socially awkward in our society, something I see as necessary, as I have a sneaking suspicion that they have a lot more to do with this "shuttle" than anyone is letting on.

  17. #17
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    While a seemingly good idea on the surface, we would see an epidemic of food poisoning in the less social among us, as they might take 15 days to make the requisite 10 phone calls that said beef phone producers assumed would take 6-7 days. Of course, this is one damn crafty way to root out the shy and socially awkward in our society, something I see as necessary, as I have a sneaking suspicion that they have a lot more to do with this "shuttle" than anyone is letting on.
    Oooooohhh..good point.

  18. #18
    TheMudMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    While a seemingly good idea on the surface, we would see an epidemic of food poisoning in the less social among us, as they might take 15 days to make the requisite 10 phone calls that said beef phone producers assumed would take 6-7 days. Of course, this is one damn crafty way to root out the shy and socially awkward in our society, something I see as necessary, as I have a sneaking suspicion that they have a lot more to do with this "shuttle" than anyone is letting on.
    Not only would we see a rise in food poisoning but also there would be more flies. The rotting meat would make a great nesting place for flies to lay their eggs and hatch into lovely maggots. This idea may need to go back to the drawing board.

  19. #19
    bigol'legs's Avatar
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    Try being an operator. Talk about listening to DUMB people for 8-14 hrs a day. "Can you tell me that number again?....I forgot to write it down" HOLY SH#@$ you should have it memorized cause you already called 4 times for it.

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