Thread: Conversation Killer
07-16-2003, 03:15 PM #1
There is this one question that can be phrased in many diffrent ways that totally turns the conversation with a girl a little sadder..."Where are your parents?" or any other topic about my parents.
I moved to the states to family by myslf, my dad passed away 4 years ago, and im not in the best relatioshpis with my mom, i havent talked to her for over 7 months...
It seems when a girl goes to ask me that and I answer it honestly, it takes a whole down turn and the conversation becomes quiter and less exciting...how can I avoid this happening?
07-16-2003, 03:37 PM #2Originally Posted by tolinka
07-16-2003, 04:26 PM #3
Thanks for that advice BG...
However, I do accept what I am and where I am coming from, but after I briefly tell about my past, I try to cheer up the conversation once again, but it seems like it doesnt work. I assume because the girl feels guilty for asking me such queastions, even though I say its fine, its not a big deal...This sucks when it happeneds on a first date or just a random person I meet.
07-16-2003, 05:02 PM #4
I guess I've just found it to be the opposite. Since it happened, I've found that it becomes the point from which the conversations go from very casual to very deep
07-16-2003, 05:41 PM #5
i just say my dad died 10 years ago, and then go on to tell her about all the cool shit he did. then i tell her about how badass my mom is before and after he died...
then i ask if i can touch her boobs...=)
07-17-2003, 10:04 AM #6Originally Posted by clockworks
07-17-2003, 01:28 PM #7
honestly i've seen it from both sides and i dont know if there is much you can say. They just feel bad for making you talk about. My gf lost her father about 10 years ago and her mother last year.And i see it all the time when people ask her.
A long time ago i meet some girl and we were talking and i asked her if she wanted to meet somewhere. She said she couldn't she lost her licence. I was was like i just got my back for to many points. why did you lose yours? She got an an accident and killed her little brother. I felt like a complete piece of shit. Even though i didnt do anything wrong.It's just human nature if you have any feelings
Last edited by gixxerboy1; 07-17-2003 at 03:26 PM.
07-17-2003, 01:31 PM #8
I have a great relationship with my parents... Don't take this the wrong way, but you guys just made me appreciate that a little more.
07-17-2003, 02:53 PM #9
I'm not trying to turn this thread down a different road, but 1st god bless you guys! Really! I couldn't imagine not having my dad around! I know I just got married (2nd time, but this time my rents were there) and they started busten a move on the dance floor swing dancing and stuff and all my bud's and there girls were just blown away! They're show stoppers!
gixxerboy As far as asking a question with your foot in your mouth (accidentally) it happened to me not to long ago and I felt absolutely like dog crap! At it was an innocent question, I just kept saying sorry, i felt terrible! Still do...
07-17-2003, 06:33 PM #10
Asking a question that puts a foot in the mouth, eh? I recall being busy while a group of guys shuffled into barber school dressed in fatigues. They shuffled into chairs, and I put a chair cloth (a cape) on the guy in my chair, and said, "Going camping?" He looked at me like I was crazy and held out his feet for me to see . . . they were in shackles. He was on a work detail from some local prison, they had stopped in for a quick haircut. All I could say was, "Oh."
As far as asking about crazy or dead family members, all you can do is tell 'em the truth. Mine died 3 years ago, and it was an improvement to the planet . . . this planet is full of assholes, and my dad was one of them. That's all there is to it, and that's all I need to say. My mom is a controlling manipulative, um, woman, and there's a long story here, but we aren't going to be able to have a healthy adult-to-adult relationship until she sees a shrink and works through a lot of her own psychological crap (her mother was a crazy manipulative, um, woman too).
No need for your friends to be embarrassed over your parent's problems (or death). That's stuff that concerns them, it ain't your responsibility. Just shrug your shoulders unapologetically and say, "That's the way things are."
You can worry about other folk's reactions if you like, but it won't change the way they feel . . .
07-17-2003, 11:37 PM #11Originally Posted by BigGreen
07-18-2003, 05:58 AM #12Originally Posted by BigGreen
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