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  1. #1
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Things that aren't generally wet but should be

    1. Chinese people - I've always felt strongly that were the Chinese wet, they'd probably grow to be a little taller, which would result in an overall superior global economy.

    2. Birds - Imagine a bird flying gracefully overhead, swooping back and forth at break-neck speeds. Now imagine that bird is wet. I know.

    3. The "Page Down" key on keyboards - This would also contribute to making the Chinese taller.

    4. Chairs - If all chairs were wet, then upon sitting down, everyone would have wet spots on their bottoms. Thus, no one would ever again be fired for excessive and completely unecessary excretion of bodily fluids.

    5. Retarded children - They'd be entertained 24/7 and parents wouldn't feel short-changed that their kids are stupid. "Well, at least my kids aren't dry," they'd say to other parents.

    6. Computer stores - As long as we'er making Chinese people wet, we'd might as well make their work-place wet as well.

    7. People who are prejudiced against Chinese people - This would give them something in common with the Chinese, thus making their absurd prejudices seem redundant and trivial. Plus, when they punch the Chinese in the junk, it'd make a cool wet smacking sound.

    8. The letter q - Frankly, it's the most useless of all the letters of the alphabet and I can't say I'd feel badly if it were wet.

    9. Santa Clause - He'd freeze upon going outside in the North Pole, thus leaving him open to the pantsing of a life-time.

    10. Bunnies - People would no longer lose sleep over the frightening threat that bunnies present to mankind because, were they a little more wet, we'd totally hear them coming.

  2. #2
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    5, 6, and 7, taken together, certainly present enough compelling logic to at the very least warrant a formal presentation of this thread before the House Ways and Means Committee.

  3. #3
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    What type of sick twisted mind can come up with this stuff? Lol, i loved it!

  4. #4
    Rastus is offline Associate Member
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    I think I'm actually speechless!!!!!

  5. #5
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    5, 6, and 7, taken together, certainly present enough compelling logic to at the very least warrant a formal presentation of this thread before the House Ways and Means Committee.
    I should perhaps add that I'm both retarded and Chinese. Not really but some of my best friends' are.

  6. #6
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    You're a funny guy nathan. Btw why does your signature say that you've been clobbered by cycleon? I've been wondering that for awhile now.

  7. #7
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    I should perhaps add that I'm both retarded and Chinese. Not really but some of my best friends' are.
    Well then you have what can be adequately called a "conflict of interest"...as soon as this proposal was put before Congress, 20/20, HardCopy, The O'Reilly Factor, et. al. would be all over you, dragging you through the mud as the retarded chinaman that you and/or your friends might be. As such, I think it was honestly a little silly for you to even bring up the idea of going before the House of Representatives on this one. Be a little more thoughtful in your posts before getting up the hopes of DRY chinamen everywhere.

  8. #8
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Well then you have what can be adequately called a "conflict of interest"...as soon as this proposal was put before Congress, 20/20, HardCopy, The O'Reilly Factor, et. al. would be all over you, dragging you through the mud as the retarded chinaman that you and/or your friends might be. As such, I think it was honestly a little silly for you to even bring up the idea of going before the House of Representatives on this one. Be a little more thoughtful in your posts before getting up the hopes of DRY chinamen everywhere.
    Waity, it was your idea to go in front of congress, not mine. I can almost feel the hammer coming down.

  9. #9
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    I can't help but wonder what the world would be like if you were running things Nathan... I'm afraid everyday would be like one looong acid trip, or better yet, a poorly organized game of hookie pookie!
    Last edited by ripped4fsu; 07-21-2003 at 12:11 PM.

  10. #10
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    Waity, it was your idea to go in front of congress, not mine. I can almost feel the hammer coming down.
    We can sit here and debate semantics and the "power" of "words" all day, but the bottom line remains that your callous indifference to and irresponsible manner with which you recommend things be brought to the attention of Congress MUST stop.

  11. #11
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    Hell, there is no way Nathan is a real person! I'm TELLING YOU he's just a figmant of all our imaginations! Or maybe some computer program someone has designed, the most insane AI ever known to man

    It's the Matrix, but the cheap, stupid version

  12. #12
    palme's Avatar
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    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terinox
    Hell, there is no way Nathan is a real person...It's the Matrix, but the cheap, stupid version

  14. #14
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    We can sit here and debate semantics and the "power" of "words" all day, but the bottom line remains that your callous indifference to and irresponsible manner with which you recommend things be brought to the attention of Congress MUST stop.
    I thought that placing "words" between quotations was a nice touch. Subtle, but funny.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    I should perhaps add that I'm both retarded and Chinese. Not really but some of my best friends' are.
    Are you really Chinese or are you just saying it because you think it's funny?

  16. #16
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    Are you really Chinese or are you just saying it because you think it's funny?
    I'm not chinese. I just used chinese people there since they aren't really a minority at all. That, and for some reason I've found that chinese people seem to in general have a good sense of humor about these things. Maybe I'm wrong and should apologize.

  17. #17
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    I showed your post to two of my friends who are Chinese and they did not think it was funny.

  18. #18
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    I showed your post to two of my friends who are Chinese and they did not think it was funny.
    Ahh leftist ideology gone awry. Swap "American" for "chinese" in all of the above and no one takes offense.

  19. #19
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    I showed your post to two of my friends who are Chinese and they did not think it was funny.
    I stand corrected then. You can apologize to them for me. Or you could just replace the word "Chinese" by anything you like. It all amounts to teh same thing. Chinese is just what popped into my head first. You have to break some eggs to make an omelet my friend. I don't know what that means, but it seems highly relevant here. On another note, the joke is not about Chinese people. It's about people who buy into prejudices against Chinese people, or any other people for that matter. I wouldn't have found it funny otherwise. I'd advise you to relax, but you don't seem to know me very well so for all you know, I really might hate certain ethnicities. I don't, if that makes you feel any better. I'm not a prejudiced person I promise.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Ahh leftist ideology gone awry. Swap "American" for "chinese" in all of the above and no one takes offense.
    BigGreen it has nothing to do with leftist ideology. If you want to poke fun at a racial group. Make fun of your own.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    BigGreen it has nothing to do with leftist ideology. If you want to poke fun at a racial group. Make fun of your own.
    What would we call that if you made fun of your own race? Not racism, not reverse racism...Hmmm, maybe symetric racism or something.

    Oh and one other question. If you are not Chinese and you have the opinion that Chinese would find this thread offensive, why would you then show it to Chinese people? Just to make sure that they were offended? Seems odd.

    By the way, never refer to Chinese people as oriental. They prefer to be called Asian. Objects are oriental, people are Asian. Remember that, lest one offend unintentionally.

  22. #22
    Carlos_E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hybrid
    What would we call that if you made fun of your own race? Not racism, not reverse racism...Hmmm, maybe symetric racism or something.

    Oh and one other question. If you are not Chinese and you have the opinion that Chinese would find this thread offensive, why would you then show it to Chinese people? Just to make sure that they were offended? Seems odd.

    By the way, never refer to Chinese people as oriental. They prefer to be called Asian. Objects are oriental, people are Asian. Remember that, lest one offend unintentionally.
    Yesterday we were talking about American attitudes towards Chinese and Asians in general. I read Nathan's post after having the conversation and I showed it to him to see what he thought of it.
    Last edited by Carlos_E; 07-22-2003 at 11:49 AM.

  23. #23
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    Way to go Nathan now you have managed to piss off a billion people. By the way I am dating an asian girl (not chinese however) but she thought it was hilarious and said you could switch out chinese for Vietnamese. She seemed confident she could speak for her entire people but I am not so sure.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nathan
    You have to break some eggs to make an omelet my friend. I don't know what that means, but it seems highly relevant here.


    Your twisted bro.

    ~US~

  25. #25
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    Nathen Would a retarded chinese man that worked it a computer store be like dripping wet when compared to lets just say a santa claus?

  26. #26
    EXCESS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    BigGreen it has nothing to do with leftist ideology. If you want to poke fun at a racial group. Make fun of your own.
    I innocently assumed that "Chinese" describes anyone with citizenship of China or anyone with roots in China. A white guy could be Chinese if he met those requirements, am I correct? So if the whole world moved to China we'd all eventually be Chinese. Is Chinese even a race, or is it a nationality? I think its safe to say that Nathan wasn't being racist but merely used citizens from China in his joke. Had he said Brazilian, Samoan, American or Canadian there wouldn't be an issue because people don't immediately associate those nationalities with race. Just like I'm not racist for making fun of Palme because he's Swedish, because Swedish isn't a race - its just a country where bad hockey players live.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by EXCESS
    Swedish isn't a race - its just a country where bad hockey players live.
    OK, now that is funny.

  28. #28
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    I dont really get this thread. I dont understand the whole "wet thing" and why wet china men would be funny. "A wet page down key" I really HONESTLY dont get the humor. A wet letter Q? ANYWAY. Moving on.

  29. #29
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    I am not chinese but i wasnt offended at all! Just so you know!

  30. #30
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EXCESS
    I innocently assumed that "Chinese" describes anyone with citizenship of China or anyone with roots in China. A white guy could be Chinese if he met those requirements, am I correct? So if the whole world moved to China we'd all eventually be Chinese. Is Chinese even a race, or is it a nationality? I think its safe to say that Nathan wasn't being racist but merely used citizens from China in his joke. Had he said Brazilian, Samoan, American or Canadian there wouldn't be an issue because people don't immediately associate those nationalities with race. Just like I'm not racist for making fun of Palme because he's Swedish, because Swedish isn't a race - its just a country where bad hockey players live.
    lol.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by EXCESS
    Just like I'm not racist for making fun of Palme because he's Swedish, because Swedish isn't a race - its just a country where bad hockey players live.
    True, all the good ones are over in north america making $$

  32. #32
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    I think that chinese people would find this alot more funny if they were wet all the time.

    Oh yeah you forgot white t-shirts they should always be wet when worn by a girl. No matter if she is chinese or not.

  33. #33
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    pure genious

  34. #34
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    i find chinese people to be cute little people

    they are like really smart tiny people who can make cool electronic stuff. i always buy asian products.american stuff sucks,i'm very pro asian, as i date asians girls, shop at a korean grocery store, and like bruce lee movies so i'm all about the asian flavor AND if you could make them all wet??!!!!well, kick me in the balls and call me puffy sack, i'm in!!!!!!!

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    I showed your post to two of my friends who are Chinese and they did not think it was funny.
    Well I showed his post to THREE of my friends who are Chinese and they fell on the floor laughing. I then told them to replace the word "Chinese" with "American" and showed FOUR Americans his post and they cracked up too.
    Last edited by PaPaPumP; 08-02-2003 at 08:48 PM.

  36. #36
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    papa, i think i know what it is...

    Quote Originally Posted by PaPaPumP
    Well I showed his post to THREE of my friends who are Chinese and they fell on the floor laughing. I then told them to replace the word "Chinese" with "American" and showed FOUR Americans his post and they cracked up too.
    i just asked 3 of the asian girls who do my gf's manicures in those chemically smelly salons and they told me chinese people don't like water

  37. #37
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    Uh oh! I wet myself...

    but I am not chinese...

    Red

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    they are like really smart tiny people who can make cool electronic stuff. i always buy asian products.american stuff sucks,i'm very pro asian, as i date asians girls, shop at a korean grocery store, and like bruce lee movies so i'm all about the asian flavor AND if you could make them all wet??!!!!well, kick me in the balls and call me puffy sack, i'm in!!!!!!!

    LMAO

  39. #39
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    5, 6, and 7, taken together, certainly present enough compelling logic to at the very least warrant a formal presentation of this thread before the House Ways and Means Committee.
    Ill work on it - what day do you want to schedule a hearing? Might need to run it through energy and commerce for #6 and education and workforce for #5

  40. #40
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    people act as if AMERICANS are the ONLY people that make distinctions about race or culture - BTW all you PC idiots, the CHINESE are extreemely predjudiced - they really dislike japanese (that little war thing), think the Koreans stole their culture - which was in turn then taken to japan, and let us not forget that all of them dislike Fujian people (chinese from the fujian province) and consider them as the dirty lowpeople in there society. and how do I know that? because I have been there! and darn near live in chinatown now. great people many of them, very hard working and most with peculiarities common to their culture.

    then there is India and south asia - if any of these arrogant self righteous pablum spouting geneousess of political correctness would get their liberal, educated, white asses out of their ivory towers and actually go to live in the homelands of these people whose sensitivities they claim to know so much about - we wouldnt have people being silly about comically abberant posts like Nathans and would be looking at how we can get rid of real hatreds.

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