Im lost

[FKITLETSGO]

me and my girlfriend of a year and six months have been arguing and she broke up with me a few hours ago and i dont konw what to do.i spent 2 hours on the phone telling her how much i care for her and how much i want to make it work and she had absolutely zero emotion. i am willing the give up everything for her and dont know what my next step should be.there is no getting her back its completely over. please tell me what my next step should be. sorry for the jottled setances i can't even type im shaking and crying so much.

[Big Rush]

sorry to hear about this bro...weren't you and her having problems not too long ago? i wish i new what to tell you, but i really don't....you will just have to deal with the pain and move on...i promise you will feel bettter in a few days and it will only get easier from there on out...

[bermich]

Advice that you WILL NOT follow but ALWAYS works:
-Do not call her
-Do not tell her you will do anything for her. Chicks who break up with guys DO NOT LIKE hearing that from a guy. It is a BIG TURN OFF.

-This ALWAYS ALWAYS works but I doubt you will do it. Since she broke up with you and fucked you over emotionally, call up one of her friends. One of her friends whom you know has been kind of interested in you but never showed it cause you were dating her best friend.
-Call up that friend and confide in her that you are hurt and need someone to talk to in PERSON.
-Go over to that friends house and talk to her ALL NIGHT. Dont do anything.
-Next day call up the friend again and say how much you appreciate her talking to you. Ask if you can talk to her again. She will say she thinks its not a good idea and your ex is her best friend. Tell that friend that nothing bad will come out of it and you just need her company because over the year and a half you saw what a good friend she was.
-Later that day when you are at her friends house, get more intimate with your feelings. DO NOT talk about your ex. Talk about her (the friend) and how she has strong attributes and how you respect that in a girl.
-If you play it right, you should be able to sleep with her friend that night. You DONT actually have to sleep with her. Just stay until 2am or even til the morning.
-TRUST ME. When your ex finds out that there is POTENTIAL of you and her best friend hooking up, she will come back.
-Her friend will tell your ex that you needed someone to talk to and nothing happened and that she is not interested.

[FKITLETSGO]

that really is genius mich.....omg and she has the perfect friend for this. trust me I will not call her and i have already professed that i would give up everything for her. guys be here for me and hlep me.your already making me feel better

[bermich]

Just to let you know... I had a girl who broke up with me. I told her I loved her, buy a house, this that. Found out a year later that that was the biggest turn off.
Back to the beginning. A week after we broke up, I had a halloween party and got with another girl. My ex found out and I denied having sex with the girl. That was another mistake. I should have told her I slept with the girl BECAUSE...
-We got back together after that conversation but not because of what I thought.
-I found out from her cousin the only reason she got back together with me was because she found out I stopped calling her and was already hooking up with other girls.
She did not like the fact that another girl was getting on me even though she did not want to be with me. It also turned her on knowing that their was a challange to get me away from other girls.

-NOW. You may get her back but it will be for the wrong reasons. She may go back just to keep you from other girls.
-OR, she is interested in, OR already is seeing another guy.
-She will DENY it til she is blue in the face as would anyone else.
-Most people dont break up with someone until they are already hooking up with someone else
-Kind of like monkies. Dont let go of one branch until they are holding onto another.
-You will not know she is seeing another guy for about a month if she is good at hiding it.
You dont live in CA do you?

[bigol'legs]

This has been the downfall of men from the begging of time. I've personally seen two of my friends loss 20-30 lbs from a break up. My wife told me the other day I would never make you choose between me or bodybuilding cause im afraid of what the answer would be. 8) gotta keep em guessing. Just take your rage (i know you got some) into the gym with you and push that shit up.

[bermich]

That is SO true. I always have good work outs between girls.
The downfall of man is women. They are vicious and manipulative. The girl I am seeing now was my best friends girlfriend (kind of)
My friend got on another girl up in Laughlin. She was pissed. Her best friends advice was "Sleep with his best friend (that being me.)"
Kind of scandaless for a girl.
Her reasoning was: It burned the bridge so she would not go back to him even if she wanted to. It also made him realize she was not gonna put up with his shit.
Sorry for stealing your thread FKIT.

[LORDBLiTZ]

You got free pus*y for a year and 6 months bro!! Why are you crying? Was it fun for a while? Love is blind bro, a young guy like you should be banging the whole town!!! I've been there man, and the last thing you wanna say is you will give up everything for a girl. If she really cared for you, you shouldn't have to give anything up. Like bermich said, go bang her friends and rub it in her face! And when she wants you back tell her to fuk off. Do u want to be a man? or are you just looking for a BIG GAY HUG? You can be strong bro! Keep ur head up!

[nj juice]

Kind of scandaless for a girl.

All girls are scandalous man, don't you know that. I said it b4 and i'll say it again, women are evil.

[Tock]

There is no woman so beautiful, so charming, so lovely, that somewhere some guy isn't sick and tired of her.

You'll remember this line during your first divorce . . .

[LORDBLiTZ]

There is no woman so beautiful, so charming, so lovely, that somewhere some guy isn't sick and tired of her.

You'll remember this line during your first divorce . . .

LMAO!!! So fuking true!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bermich]

or are you just looking for a BIG GAY HUG? You can be strong bro! Keep ur head up!

LMAO.

[AandF6969]

Like LordBlitz said, just go get some pussy man, thatll make you feel better. As for the whole commitment thing, why tie yourself down to one chick... completely ruins your prospects with others..

[bermich]

Why is Arnold holding a coffin???

[peam]

Wow you guys.... wow.

[FKITLETSGO]

Hey Josh,
I am sorry about this, i know it wasnt like me to do what i did and i don't know if i have made a mistake or not. I love you and always will, so much it hurts!!! I didn't brake up with you for anyone else or because i am going to VA. I broke up with you for the reasons I said I did. I have never or even thought about being with someone else, i have never cheated on you and I hope you know that. When i said that I was misserable for six months I lied, i loved every second of every day I spent with you and I'm haveing a very hard time being without you!!! It's killing me! I hope that you find your perfect girl and you are happy forever, i hope you have the life you dream of and the family you have always wanted i wish it could have been with me. I will always remember the things you taught me and the memories we have had, that mean so much. i hope you always remember me and think of me as a good person and not regret being with me. i am going to do my best and i have started my diet and started running every morning again, I am gonna tan and not worry about the partying life or getting drunk i want the best i can be and i want to one day be successful, like you taught me to be and i will always strive for the best and get it no matter what!! I am not going to back to the life style that i was living before i met you. i appericate everthing you have ever done for me, the money you spent, the time you put in, the patience you had, the trouble you went threw, the pain and tears youve endured, but most of all the love and happiness you gave me. Thats what means the most and i will never forget you or the things you have done for me josh it means so much you will never know. i wouldn't be the person i am today if it wasnt for you. i am leaving at 12 or someting like that tonight, it is killing me not to hear your voice and hear you tell me how much you love me, i dont know what im gonna do! i dont know if i am making a mistake or not. maybe one day in the future we will be together and have the family we have always dreamed of, josh i love you so much and you mean the world to me, i hate that this is how it is and i wish it wasnt. i love you and if you ever need someone ill be here for you no matter what!!!! i love you so much !!!!!!

Anna

[FKITLETSGO]

well thank you for the heartwarming letter it really set me a back a few days which I really didnt' want to happen. The healing process started the day you left for new orleans and fortunately it did b/c that was one hell of a two days. Im just now realizing that your parents threw out 1000 dollars of mine and that's not appreciated much i wish you could have found it b/c the trash only runs twice a week. your carelessness with my possessions is mirrored with your lackadaisical attitude towards my feelings and my heart and everything has come into perspective now and I see that we have been on a downward spiral for a while now. You threw blame on me yesterday and i'd like to once again say that you are undoubtedly wrong. Anna I have pushed and pushed and pushed to make you try harder and to pay attention the the finer details of our relationship yet you still picked un-needed fights and still ignored the little things that made the most difference. What is scary about this whole ordeal is that I dont know if ill be happy with the next b/c i had already found my dream girl. I was lead to believe that she shared goals and aspirations with me but unfortunately i was misguided and have been for some time now. My heart is broken and maybe i deserved it maybe not. I know that doors close and other one's open and fortunately i see a much brighter path towards the future. Anna im flattered about the compliments you gave me in your letter and how I have did so much for you and this and that. None of that means anything....i dont mean anything....if i did then there is no way on earth the anna i knew would break up with me" josh m*******" over such trivial bullshit...the truth is i feel like something is wrong with me and i have major faults and when i re-evaluate everything into perspective I cannot see them. Anna apparently you have deeper issues and none of them have to do with me. I wish you the best in your endeavors and pray for your well being and happiness.

Love josh

[ichiban]

WOW...I am really sorry that happened...but you are not the first one!

Posted by FKITLETSGO - Today at 11:42 PM Anna apparently you have deeper issues and none of them have to do with me.

I think that right there is your answer.

Posted by Tock - Yesterday at 09:29 PM
There is no woman so beautiful, so charming, so lovely, that somewhere some guy isn't sick and tired of her

I will have to disagree withthat crap.

And DON"T go sleep with one of her friends....or will be known as an arsehole by all girls around town.

[bermich]

Damn. That was kind of personal for this board.
Best thing I read in months. You have anymore???
I love analyzing shit like that.
Want my advice ?? lol

[bermich]

Hey. Was that first letter actually written by her? Does she have access to your member ID on here??
I mean did she actually post that on this thread with your member?

[LORDBLiTZ]

WOW...I am really sorry that happened...but you are not the first one!


And DON"T go sleep with one of her friends....or will be known as an arsehole by all girls around town.

Thats a good thing! Girls love arseholez!!

[bermich]

Ive been called many things but never, not once an arsenhole. Does that mean he is a pyro or something?? Maybe it is a German slang

[FKITLETSGO]

no i copied and pasted the letters

[ichiban]

Posted by bermich - Today at 02:11 AM
Ive been called many things but never, not once an arsenhole. Does that mean he is a pyro or something?? Maybe it is a German slang

bermich, I just don't like cusing...is asshole better for you. Anyway, I am just looking out for FKIT. I don't know of any girls, side from those with mental problems, that like assholes.

[TheMudMan]

I think it's good you let her know that you are ready to move forward. Reading her letter I don't know why she would break up with you. If she was so happy and in love then there should be no reason.

[ichiban]

Posted by TheMudMan - Today at 10:01 AM
I think it's good you let her know that you are ready to move forward. Reading her letter I don't know why she would break up with you. If she was so happy and in love then there should be no reason.

I agree, it sounds like yall are on 2 different wave lengths....I guess that is why it did not work out.

[Commando_Barbi]

All I can say is...I'm really sorry FKIT. I've been in an on again off again situation for the last 2 yrs. I went through hell to be with this man and when things were finally clear on my end....things on his end went to shit. We broke up and I stayed alone for about 3 months....and I started dating again. When he heard about that he came back. I like an idiot let him come back. Unfortunately I only had 3 months left on island. So we spent that time getting to know one another again....slowly. So I move all the way from the Caribbean to the PacNW. We meet in Miami 6 mos later and have a wonderful time together. Last March I go to see him on the island (Barbados) and he ends up breaking my heart AGAIN. So....when I got back I cut all comms with him...he made it 3 weeks and called and asked if he could come visit me. You guessed ...I said sure. I put his ass in a hotel for his visit.

Anwway.....I know how bad it hurts to love so hard, get hurt so bad. My problem is I don't know when to give up.

Hang in there and focus that pain on gaining big muscle.

Hugs ~C.B.~

[FKITLETSGO]

thank you everyone im not enjoying this healing process but i laugh sometimes in the last week cause of so many phone calls i get asking me to come out so they can introduce me to this girl that wants to meet me. everyone has been really supportive and even you guys at AR have given your intelligent insight and its much appreciated. once again thank you all very much and feel free to analyze the two letters and give your opinion from an investigative point of virew

[Juggernaut]

Fkit, Bro sorry you’re going through this, sucks for sure. I lost the woman of my dreams early last year and I was wreck for almost a year and a half after. It wasn’t that we broke up because of any problems but because she ended up going back to her ex for her children’s sake. I couldn’t believe it, not because of the kids but because he had cheated on her, that’s the reason she’d left him to begin with. Go figure that one huh? Any case, I was depressed so bad it almost cost me everything I had worked so hard for because I just didn’t care about anything or anyone, much less myself. Thank God I managed to pull through it.

The best advice, I hate to offer advice so let’s say here's what I’ve learned from the experience;
DO NOT call or write, period. You need to focus on yourself. Bury yourself in your weightlifting and get out of the house. The more you sit in the house all you’ll do is keep thinking “what if…..” Contact after the fact only prolongs the pain.

Avoid any contact like the plague. If she frequents a place that you do as well then stay away on the nights she might frequent it. Every time you see her your heart is going to jump out of your chest (if you truly loved her it will) and you could make a move without realizing it only to get burned when rejected. Or worse yet one thing leads to another and then the next day you get the “I made a big mistake last night” scenario from her. Hello heart aches all over. Again back at the starting blocks and dealing with the pain anew.

If she calls, which I doubt she will, be polite and try real hard to keep from saying anything that might be considered a dig. Prove you’re the stronger person here and that you are an adult. Easier said than ever done!

If she writes again, this is a tough one, I’d say read it, IF you can without getting worked up, then put....it.....away and do not respond back. The only reason you’d read it is to see if anything has changed. More than likely it’s just a closing thing for her so it’s not meant to help you but more to help herself through what she’s going through.

If you have mementos don’t throw them out or burn them. Ten years down the road you’ll wish you never did. Put them in a box and bury them in the attic or something and don’t go pulling them out now and then. Years from now you’ll run across them and when looking at them you’ll realize how much you’ve grown from the experience.

As for the next woman you date, keep in mind she’ll more than likely be the rebound girlfriend. I’ve never had much luck with the first couple of girlfriends after a major break up with a long term relationship. imo

Anytime a woman, or man for that matter, says “let’s just be friends” the only word you hear is END. Best of luck to you bro. The pain dulls a little more each day, hang in there

Jugg

[bermich]

All I can say is REBOUND girls kick ass. Seems like it works out better when you just dont care.

Best thing to do is meet the girl and maybe it was perfect timing. It takes your mind off of things.
Tell us how she looks

[peam]

bermich man... you sound like the guy of every girl's dreams

[FKITLETSGO]

tonight is singlemania. hell im young good looking and have money and best of all my ways with the ladies is prolly what got me in this shithole in the firstplace. so tonight will be "meet a dozen " night. guys just for a lil update i have been doing well and am talking to 4 girls as of today just dating them all and having fun last night i went swimming and ended up having a pretty intimate night with this chik morgan . the thing im most excited about is a date i set up today with the chik at planet beach. talk about a rebound babe this girl is hott. unfortuantely when i look at all other girls all i can think about is how much hotter anna is.

[TheMudMan]

tonight is singlemania. hell im young good looking and have money and best of all my ways with the ladies is prolly what got me in this shithole in the firstplace. so tonight will be "meet a dozen " night. guys just for a lil update i have been doing well and am talking to 4 girls as of today just dating them all and having fun last night i went swimming and ended up having a pretty intimate night with this chik morgan . the thing im most excited about is a date i set up today with the chik at planet beach. talk about a rebound babe this girl is hott. unfortuantely when i look at all other girls all i can think about is how much hotter anna is.

Bro.... you can't compare your ex with new women you meet. It's not fair to them. Just go out and have fun. Take everything one step at a time. I've been in your shoes a year ago and took some time for me to feel good again but with time you will feel better.

[bermich]

bermich man... you sound like the guy of every girl's dreams

Thank you. Maybe we should hook up sometime or maybe I could call you on one of those nights where you cant sleep.

[ichiban]

Posted by peam - Yesterday at 03:15 PM
bermich man... you sound like the guy of every girl's dreams

[chicamahomico]

bermich man... you sound like the guy of every girl's dreams

I bet you've dated more guys like this than you'll ever know...you just don't hear what guys say to their buddies when you are not around. Guys do it, girls do it....talking relationship smack is often done on some level.

[ichiban]

Just wondering...how are you holding up FKIT?

I hope all is well or at least getting better!

[Polska]

bermich.... your advice on top was absolutely right on the money.... i was in the exact same boat as fkits over a year ago and had to learn it all the hard way

[bermich]

FKIT? How are things?? Talk to us. Come on. You can tell me....

[peam]

I think bermich is plotting to take over the world.