07-29-2003, 11:23 AM #1
Why the world so desperately needs cyborgs
Now I know what you're thinking, "I wish my nipples made strange growling noises at me all day." And that's where cyborgs come in. Had we the technology, cyborg nipples could do all kinds of wonderful things that modern nipples simply cannot do. For instance, our nipples could be emitting a low frequency signal that only lobsters can hear and understand and they could be doing this all day, every day. I wouldn't even know where to begin in trying to list the myriad of possibilities an army of crustaceans presents. Nipples could also be adapted to emit a variety of pleasing scents or perfumes. One could have their nipples emitting fumes that smell akin to flowers, fruits, vanilla, dead babies, or whatever else might strike your fancy.
Nipples aren't the only parts of our bodies we might try to improve either. Far from it. Think of all the sphincter muscles in the human body that are currently not being used to cut through dense iron rods. Most of them can't even cut through aluminum.
Probably the most advantageous aspect of being a cyborg would be a heightened ability to tell time. You would be the guy everyone would go to if they wanted to know the time. I know it doesn't sound like much, but for people who have no arms it's a pretty big deal.
A world with cyborgs would truly be a wonderful place. Children's genitals could be removed and replaced with far more useful tools, such as compasses or gravy boats. Retarded people could be transformed into feces disposal units, thus allowing our sewer systems to transport more urine than ever before. The implications of having the ability to produce cyborgs are indeed f*****eaching. While it remains difficult to predict the exact direction in which the technology would take humanity, I feel I can say with utmost confidence that the elderly would have no home in our cyborg utopia.
07-29-2003, 11:27 AM #2
LOL i hafto go lay down now.
07-29-2003, 11:34 AM #3
LMAO!!! Damn you Nathan....my stomach hurts enough as it is..... where's my vicodin????
07-29-2003, 12:11 PM #4
Very good Nathan. I've known people with no arms and telling time is an issue. Bench pressing is difficult too.
07-29-2003, 12:30 PM #5Originally Posted by Nathan
07-29-2003, 06:03 PM #6
Nathan... Your funny. alittle crazy, but funny
07-29-2003, 07:20 PM #7
wow, thats really all i can say
07-29-2003, 07:53 PM #8
hahaha nice always funny stuff
07-29-2003, 08:36 PM #9
While it remains difficult to predict the exact direction in which the technology would take humanity, I feel I can say with utmost confidence that the elderly would have no home in our cyborg utopia.
a true american badass
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