Joke Of The Day ( My Love Life!)

**KunipshunFit** · 08-05-2003, 08:26 AM

See, all you loyal K'Fit Joke readers wont be disapointed with this post...as it is funny. However it's not funny to me as it is my love life that is the joke

Sadly i'm serious.

Ok, i'm up for some advice, etc etc any hints, words of wisdom, anything.

Ok, here is a brief background
-If i'm with a girl and it's just a "friends with benefits" situation, i'm perfectly fine. I can just have sex with the girl, hang out and not worry about anything. Infact my cuz and I accidently switched girls one night (long story) and we and the girls were kool with it after it was all sorted out. However, If i'm in a relationship with a girl, I get jealous, paranoid, and dumb! I sooo do not understand it!

Take for instance my last girlfriend. I got jealous 2 times and argued over NOTHING, complete bullshit!

Why is this all important to me?

Well had a few friends over this past Friday. I was on the couch with girl 1...well girl 2 looked like she was not having a good time. So i called her over to ask why she was not having a good time (at this point girl 1 walked outside to give us some space) well girl 2 flat out tells me she's not happy because i'm on the couch with the other chica and not her. She then tells me she's got a thing for me and has had a small crush on me for awhile.

So i'm no idiot, I've noticed this girl many times and she's beautiful, funny, socialble as all hell, flirty and intelligent. So i think to myself...we can fix this. I talk to my roomate, tell him the situation and he tells me to "handle" it...so ofcourse i'm going to dump girl 1 off on him (what a shame really pssft..she just wanted to fuck and he had no problems -taking one for the team-)

Anyway me and girl 2 go upstairs and just talk and shoot the preverbal shit until 5am. then we crash and go to sleep. No sex no odd things (which is fine) minus the debate about her ass...

Sunday we decide we want ot go out, so we head out around 4pm; Hit up the Movies (american wedding - BLAH BLAH BLAH) then hit the bar, have some cocktails, then decide we want to go swimming. About the time she walks out in her bikini it starts to rain...(NC Weather is funny as all hell) I completely forget about the hottub at my work..so she changes back and we just lounge around the house randomly making out, and watching Gone in 60 seconds on the DVD playa.

Well during the course of the afternoon we talk about what we are looking for. With my history of bad relatioships, i figure it's always best to be completly upfront. If you want just sex, say it, if you want more, then say that

I find it works better that way.

So she asks me what I want (thinking it's going to be sex = which she would be fine with i "think") however i tell her i'm tired of just all the random sex, and would not mind being in a relationship. I think this takes her by suprise (possibly due to some information her friends had given her about me...what can i say, my past is my past) But she seems really happy that I said that, and said right after that she is ready for a relationship too. And we agree to take whatever happens very slowly.

Ok now the prolem
She was suppose to call me last night at 8ish. Well i get home from the gym and am all anticipating her call...NO CALL...not all night. So i called her 2 times. 1st time i didnt leave a message ( i know dumb) 2nd time i figured she got called into work, and left a message.

My problem is I always ALWAYS assume the worst. I was like she's not into me. She's prolly out at some bar drinking it up having a blast, just playing me...

Well i call her this morning, to see if she wants to go to lunch today (today is her birthday) Well she has to work and then she apologizes for like 10 minutes about not calling me last night. Her friends evidently planned this all night drinking party for her - which she got sick at lol-

my problem is 1 i sat around all worried about it, and thinking the worst. and 2 that i dont know why it would get to me either way? It shouldnt at all...I should NOT care one way or the other. She was dressed to kill, and out with a bunch of her guy/girlfriends. and so i shouldnt be all whatever the hell i am bout it. I should be like kool, glad you had a good time. (*which i did portray on the phone*) My problem is i know i didnt feel that way even though i acted like it.

So before we got off the phone she said she wanted to do something tomorrow or thursday. So i told her, I tried to call her once, and she was not there. So if she wanted to talk to me she had to call me back. She said "damn that's mean, but I understand it." and again apologized for not calling me last night. I told her it was ok, but it was a pet peeve of mine for people to say they are going to call, and then to not. she understood that evidently and said she'd call me later (whever that is lol)

Everything about this girl makes me think she digs me. She tells me how hot she thinks I am, how much fun she has when she's with me, and the above story. So it's obviously me...so what can i do to NOT Fuck this up???

ALL HELP WELCOME..- that means the ladies too-

I'm in need of help, cause i'm sitting here doing this

I hope to see some replies...

Thanx all

K'Fit

**TheMudMan** · 08-05-2003, 08:50 AM

Just relax and stop analyizing everthing that happens. Don't wait around for her to call either. That's what answering machines are for. Just have fun and hopefully everything will fall into place.

**peam** · 08-05-2003, 10:42 AM

Yeah man... you said ya'll were going to take things slowly. So... live your life too, you aren't married to her..... yet. When she calls she calls, when she doesn't she doesn't. Don't even do anything differently... you've just got another person to hang out with now. At least that's how I look at it. You might want to stop screwing girl #1 though.

**mammoth** · 08-05-2003, 10:50 AM

You said yourself that you guys agreed to take it slowly but your acting like you guys are married. Really you should keep in touch with other women to help keep your mind off of just her. Don't limit yourself and waste your time if you are unsure if she is going to be true to you. If she is really into you then she will make the effort, if not then you shouldn't follow her around like a puppy dog. Let her go if she is not going to fullfill her end of the dating bargain. In all honesty you sound alot like I used to be. I was so insecure about myself that whenever I got a hint from a cute chick that she was into me, I hoarded her like she was my daughter. It wasn't until I forced myself to adopt the "fuck it" attitude about women, that I found myself meeting more of them and the jealousy, and insecurity subsided. I wish you the best brotha!!

**Butch** · 08-05-2003, 11:04 AM

Mammoth is right...just chill. relatiosnhips take time dude...you guys are not bf/gf yet...you fo your thing and let her do hers....don't make it look like you are waiting around for her...that will be an indication in the relationship that she has you by the balls...the "fuck it" attitude is the best approach...play it SLOW and live you life as you have been....good luck dude!

**KunipshunFit** · 08-05-2003, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by Butch

Mammoth is right...

Thanx for the replies.

The part that sorta gets me is that I can go out and just have the whole "friends with benefits" thing and NOT have these problems...

I agree i just need to adopt some sort of "fuck it, she will call if she calls, or come by if she comes by attitude"...but aren't there steps in this that I can follow...

But yeah, I told her when she had time and wanted to talk to me for her to call me...I said that not wanting to be the one to call her and her not be there. Maybe when she calls me, I wont be there...make her wonder what's going on or something.

I dont know...I have not changed anything about my routine...my routine just happens to SUCK during the week.

Gym from 6-7, work from 8-5, gym again from 5-6:30, Dinner, shower, Relax on the couch...

now during the weekend i'm a lil'

and have some fun.

I'm not to worried about it, if it is ment to work out it will, if not, what's the point of stressing myself over it and causing only myself more problems.

I know she is into me, and so that's enough. I think i have issues trusting people... hmmm wonder why.

K'Fit

**TheMudMan** · 08-05-2003, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by KunipshunFit

But yeah, I told her when she had time and wanted to talk to me for her to call me...I said that not wanting to be the one to call her and her not be there. Maybe when she calls me, I wont be there...make her wonder what's going on or something.

I wouldn't play any games if you do like this girl. If you want to call her than do it..... you don't have to wait for her to call you. Just go about your life and you will be fine. Some people are smart enough to notice if the other is playing games or not.

The friends with benefits thing get old too...... like I said if you like this girl then make a effort to show you're interested but if you see your going all the work then back off.

**KunipshunFit** · 08-05-2003, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by TheMudMan

I wouldn't play any games if you do like this girl. If you want to call her than do it..... you don't have to wait for her to call you. Just go about your life and you will be fine. Some people are smart enough to notice if the other is playing games or not.

The friends with benefits thing get old too...... like I said if you like this girl then make a effort to show you're interested but if you see your going all the work then back off.

I agree, your right that's why I called her this morning. However I did tell her this morning after wishing her happy birthday that I wanted to take her to lunch, she said she couldnt because of her family taking her out and having to spend time witht hem all day. She even told me her friends wanted to throw her a party and were planning on it, but she's not going to be able to go.

After that i told her that my pet peeve was people not returning calls when they say they are. She apologized and then I told her that I was not mad, but that she could call me when she wanted to go out. She thought that was a bit odd, but called her self out saying she knew it was a bit rude to not call me back last night and she again apologized. She genuinely seems interested in me...but i'm dense and so I dont read the signals.

when we are on the phone she doesnt use my name...it's all hey sweety this, hey baby that..eh...i'm trying to not worry about it. I dont expect to hear from her tonight, so she will have to call me sometime when she wants. I'm trying to take the advice and not sitting around waiting on the phone to ring.

problem is during the week i have NOTHING to do.

ah well, we will see what happens I guess....

**bermich** · 08-05-2003, 01:58 PM

[QUOTE= Sadly i'm serious.

Infact my cuz and I accidently switched girls one night (long story)
K'Fit[/QUOTE]

My friends and I have switched girls before (how I have my present gf) but we have NEVER ACCIDENTLY switched girls.
How DRUNK were you and how DARK was the hotel room.
Tel us the LONG story. Your first post was long enough.

BTW. If you keep calling her EVERYDAY, you are gonna smother her. Girls sometimes HATE being called everyday 2xs a day. Even if it just to say hi. It goes off as being either INSECURE or CONTROLLING or both.
If you dont call her so much, she will start to miss you and wonder what you are doing that is keeping your mind away from her.

**KunipshunFit** · 08-05-2003, 02:29 PM

Ok, calling her everyday..hmmm this whole thing has happend over like 2 days...i called her yesterday when we were gonna talk (pre-arranged covo that never took place)

2nd time was this morning, different day, just to say happy birthday and see if she wanted to have lunch, and find out what happend last night.

only times...so no biggie i dont believe as i said to her "she had to call me".

The story about switching girls with my cousin. Well i was in college, and had a good friend named Katie. My cuz came to visit and her and him were doing the friends with benefits thing. At this time I was dating a girl from back home named Christina.

Well Bj lives back home, and I was at college. I had a party and Katie and I were the last ones there, one thing lead to another, we had sex.

The next day I feel bad and call my cuz to tell him...i'm all like um yeah i got something to tell you. and so i tell him. and the night before (same night as me and Katie) Christina had a party,and bj was there. Same situation. So he tells me "while we are being honest"....and spills his story. At that point I just laugh, and then we go onto the whole guy thing...like did she do that trick with her hips, etc etc.

Yes yes, horrible I know...twas about 3 years ago...

K'Fit

**lloyd_cannon** · 08-05-2003, 03:29 PM

Exact same problem my man i juust havent had sex yet. My girl says she likes me allot but then when she doesnt call for a day I worry my ass off. I go out with friends and shes all i can think about.

It pisses me off when people dont call when they say they will. Id keep it to once a day call. and leave a message when you do dont sound unprepared. Have something witty to say whenyou get the infernal machine.

**KunipshunFit** · 08-06-2003, 06:29 AM

Man i'm glad i'm not the only one.

Looks like Partyboy is having a similar problem in a thread up here at the top with this one.

This is driving me crazy.

I so wanna ask her if she's dating anyone else, and what her intentions are...do you think that's a good idea?

K'Fit

***BIG TEXAN*** · 08-06-2003, 07:24 AM

I wouldn't bring it up just yet. Give this time, it just started. Now after you see her for awhile than bring up the idea of not seeing anyone else if it looks like this relationship is going somewhere. everyone has already said it, relax, and let it happen if it's going to happen. Hell if I had things to do over again it would be just that. I was the same way as you always worried about the next step or what I should do. Hell have fun and enjoy the time you have with her, if this relationship is going to work out, it's going to workout. Good luck.

**KunipshunFit** · 08-06-2003, 02:06 PM

just wanted to update...

not sure if anyone is even following this thread, or even cares..

I spoke with her this morning, and sorta was like..."I dont wanna be lead on, and I just want to quantify things to know where we stand and what each other expects, etc etc"...

She said she knew what she wanted but didnt know if she wanted it right now. She said she was not dating anyone else, but she wanted to hang out with me even if she didnt know right now. I told her that was fine, as I enjoy spending time with her.

I just dont want to share i guess...lol ya know, have her date someone else and me...*blah i dont know* at this point she said she would call me later...and without lying, i doubt she will call me...seriously doubt it. Don't know why, nothing bad was said...just a hunch...so i'm not going to call her, going to wait on her to call me...see if it happens...

***BIG TEXAN*** · 08-06-2003, 02:13 PM

Brother..... I'm going to say this one more time... R-E-L-A-X!!!!!!!!!

Just let this happen, if you try to rush it or push her you will only push her away. Just relax, have fun with her and it will all work out.

**lloyd_cannon** · 08-06-2003, 08:56 PM

dude dont get on her friends ladder make a move when she comes over put on a movie with good horny factor then move in. If you remain talkative too long its most likely going to stay like that. This is not always the case but it happens 99%of the time. Sometimes girls need their mind made up for them impress her with you being able to chase her and be confident about it not timid. (note: girls can smell fear) keep her guessing what your going to do next and act like you DONT NEED HER, these first few weeks. She is just a side dish in the beggining. I know it may be hard but you cant show your feelings becasue once again it turns them off 99% of the time. Then after she digs you, you can cut the immature crap (that is needed) and tell her how you feel.

**clockworks** · 08-07-2003, 02:39 AM

so where is the fucking punchline?

hehe, just kidding.

acutally, you sound like my long lost twin or something. you sound exactly like me in this regard. if i know its just boning, then i don't give a rats ass about it. but >as soon as< i think there is a chance of it being more than just booty, i get really possessive, paranoid, etc etc. it is also my very well known pet peeve when people say they are going to call and then don't. a lot of my fem friends can testify to this. guy friends just don't notice when i'm mad, hehe.

yeah, anyways...my advice. don't push it. don't rush it. just cuz you know yall like each other doesn't mean you immediately have to start spending a lot of time together and start keeping tabs on each other...

-- cb