I was supposed to show up with my resume but instead of doing that, I thought it might be fun for me to show up with nothing at all and pretty fucking high too. It's a bouncing job, you might want to write that part down. Anyways, I tried to sober up a bit before going but when high one tends to give oneself more credit in terms of one's sobriety than one perhaps deserves. One = me for all the stupid people reading this. So I was baked and perfectly lucid to say the least. The manager walked out and was fucking hotter than hell. I made a special effort not to grab at her breasts throughout the course of the interview but it was a close call. When she asked me to write my phone number down for her my first reaction was to point right at her and shout, "I fucking knew you wanted my cock you hot god damn bitch!" Before I could do that though I remembered that it was an interview and so she probably just wanted it to call me when she wanted me to work. Unfortunately she made it all too clear that the job erquires me to wear pants. When I heard that I almost told her to forget the whole damn thing but then something in my head screamed, "Jesus fucking Christ, were I to hurl a quarter, or my face, at this chick's ass, it would bounce right off of there like nothing at all." I start this week I think, or whenever she calls, which sucks since I'm still at this office job for two more weeks. I'm going to tell my boss here that I have leprosy and see how she reacts. Being the skilled actor that I am, I'm thinking I'll just play off her reaction and hopefully come out of this whole thing a week early and a million dollars richer.
