What screwed up your SURE chance of sex.

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08-20-2003, 03:58 PM
bermich

What screwed up your SURE chance of sex.

What happenend that made the girl back out or made you back out of a sure chance for awesome sex. Maybe her boyfriend walked in the room, or her husband woke up or maybe the house caught on fire or a burgelor broke into the house or the cops came????

I can start it but it is not exciting.
Just the normal oral sex thing going on to get her in the mood cause they usually want it after they had oral. So Im down there and she thrust her hips up. No big deal. It was a hot night and I am ready to climb on top of her and she thought I was sweating. At about that time I felt something drip from my nose and I knew it wasnt sweat.
No big deal, we both took a shower but she wasnt in the mood for sex after that and I REALLY wanted it. I was so frustrated.
08-20-2003, 04:16 PM
talon

Oh I got this one for ya...how about a dumbazz friend coming over. At the time I was with my ex-girlfriend and her best friend. Well we had been drinking all day and it was a little late at night. Well her friend was on the floor and me and my ex were makin out on the couch. All of a sudden this girl starts kissing up my legs. Well hell I didnt stop it...he he and my ex didnt say anything about it so we kept going. Well her friend pulls out my package and starts to go down on me, while im up on the couch making out with my ex and feelin her up. All of a sudden bam bam bam at the door. The girls get freaked and run in the room. I was so so so mad. I answered the door and it was one of my best friends asking if he could use my microwave, WTF? Man, that had to be the worst/best night of my life. I could have beat hiz azz for that.
08-20-2003, 06:26 PM
nj juice

how about her friends? Whenever you meet a girl and you're looking to go somewhere and fool around there's always a cock-blocking friend.....
08-20-2003, 06:32 PM
SirBen187

How about doing too much coke and not being able to get your dick hard? That's one of my favorites.
08-21-2003, 01:09 AM
bermich

TALON. That would have pissed me off so bad. I feel bad for ya. It always seems to happen that way. That reminded me of a simpler story.
Brought a girl back to my place after the movies.
We were laying on my bed watching tv and talking. Her head is on my stomache and then it starts going lower and lower just til she is touching the tip of my cock with her tongue. Every few minutes she would get more involved and just a LITTLE further down each time.
My ex room mate still had a key and I guess decided to let himself in to ask me something.
He wasnt happy to see her in my room since she kept refusing to go out with him and then appeared in my room half naked.

Basically the mood is ALWAYS ruined once abrupted interupted. Sure you probably still get laid but leading up to it and wondering IF you are going to get laid is the best part.
I mean, where do you start. "Uh, could you slowly rub my cock with your tongue again like you were before my friends came in?"
08-21-2003, 01:14 AM
talon

BERMICH...LOL...I soooo know what ya mean bro. But check this out the friend wanted to use my microwave to cook shrimp...WTH...he he he. Everytime I see him he has to bring this up. I am so going to screw his lay up when I get a chance.
08-21-2003, 10:20 AM
bedrocked

Quote:

How about doing too much coke and not being able to get your dick hard? That's one of my favorites.

thats what viagra's for ;)

but i have to agree, it's always the girl's friend who isn't having a good time that feels the need to cockblock.
08-21-2003, 10:46 AM
Pheedno

Nothing incredibly horrible. I've walked out on a sexual encounter because the woman did not groom in all the right places.

From that point on, some way of introducing a conversation that brings that aspect up is always tried.
08-21-2003, 01:25 PM
talon

He He...GROOM...I def. think that is a must, never encountered the bush though...lol.
08-21-2003, 02:16 PM
pumpseeker

Anyone ever get caught by your parents? I got caught by my mom getting a blow job when I was 17! She just screamed "NO!" from the other room and said "keep it clean in there". The girl had just swallowed so I gave her some water and a ride home.
08-21-2003, 02:28 PM
TheMudMan

Quote:

Originally Posted by pumpseeker

Anyone ever get caught by your parents? I got caught by my mom getting a blow job when I was 17! She just screamed "NO!" from the other room and said "keep it clean in there". The girl had just swallowed so I gave her some water and a ride home.

:lol: ....... She did what your mom said.

I've been caught by the girl's parents a few times when I was younger, a x-boyfriend (that's a funny story), and my brother.
08-21-2003, 02:34 PM
palme

LOL pump that was funny! :lol:

Bermich what dripped from your nose? Did you get shitfaced? :lol:
08-21-2003, 02:36 PM
01dragonslayer

Had a chance with this fine-ass chick, but I was so fucked-up that I passed out before anything happened. I been kickin' myself in the ass ever since. DAMNIT!
08-21-2003, 02:50 PM
BUYLONGTERM

Talk about bad luck. Within the last week, I brought 2 different girls home only to have them each pass out on my couch. The funny thing is one of them invited me to her place after our christmas party and I fucking passed out at her place. I have the worst luck.

Or even funnier. A couple of weeks ago, my buddy is having a hot tub party (his hottub holds 10 people) and 3 of us guys are going at it with some chicks. Anyway, While I'm making out with her, I look down at her stomach and it was like rubber just hanging there. ( It's hard to describe what it looked like, but I later found out she lost almost 100 pounds recently) So anyway, She was hot, and I kept drinking to ease the pain, but it didn't work. She took me in the bedroom and said "you want your cock sucked really good??" I was like NO thank you....What a buzz kill.
08-21-2003, 04:47 PM
bermich

Quote:

Originally Posted by palme

LOL pump that was funny! :lol:

Bermich what dripped from your nose? Did you get shitfaced? :lol:

Oh fuck. I didnt type what happened cause Im an idiot.

She thrust her pelvic up on my face from an orgasm and gave me a BLODDY nose without me realizing it. Just a slow drip. I kept going and then she pulled me up after she came and wanted sex. After a minute of sex she thought I was sweating cause she felt a drip on her chest.
At that time I knew it was blood. Turned ON THE LIGHTS and it looked like she was on her period. Blood all down there from my nose.
We took a shower and it just kinda killed the mood. I was horny too. This only happened like last Saturday.
So I just wacked off and came on her while she slept JK. I told her I was thinking about it though.

BUYLONGTERM: A fucked up thing to say after she asked if you wanted your dick sucked really good? Yeah, but not by you....
08-21-2003, 09:01 PM
bigol'legs

hey bermich I knew blood was involved. I was thinking maybe she was on the rag and after seeing your face covered in her blood didnt wanna do it. hehe
08-21-2003, 09:47 PM
someday

Last spring break i was trying to go at it with this girl in the bathroom. Needless to say id been drinking since sunrise and was shit hammered. After a while i had to stop becuase the room was spinning so much i thought i was gonna fall over. We finished it later though......by far i think drunk ass friends screw it up more than anything though.
08-21-2003, 11:14 PM
depdaddy

what screwed me out of good sex...my wife came home..damn bitch
08-22-2003, 12:11 AM
Tock

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pheedno

Nothing incredibly horrible. I've walked out on a sexual encounter because the woman did not groom in all the right places.

From that point on, some way of introducing a conversation that brings that aspect up is always tried.

======================

Sounds like a holiday or birthday gift of "Sphincterine" www.mintyass.com is in order . . . perhaps interspersed with a fragrant bouquet of fine roses?
--Tock
08-22-2003, 12:13 AM
Tock

I had someone call me up and say, "Come on over, nobody's home." So I went over . . . and nobody was home. Rats.
--Tock
08-22-2003, 03:09 AM
palme

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigol'legs

hey bermich I knew blood was involved. I was thinking maybe she was on the rag and after seeing your face covered in her blood didnt wanna do it. hehe

Hahaha :D

Would have been pretty mean not to let a guy put it in after going down on her during her week...haha man id be so mad i would have jerked off on her like bermich said :lol:

(ok no i wouldnt......but it´s cool to say i would).
08-22-2003, 03:21 AM
FRANK WHITE

A long time ago when I was going to school near San Francisco I go to L.A. to visit some family. I'm totally unfamiliar with the area at that time. Well I go to a nightclub that night and pick up this totally hot bisexual chick from Rome. I take her back to her hotel and bang away. Awesome. When I'm leaving the last thing she sais is meet me at the same club tomorrow night and I'll bring my girlfriend and "You can F@#$K
us both. Well the next night I leave from the families house in plenty of time to meet her at the club. I get lost, really lost. To make a long story short by the time I get to the club its 2 hours after she said meet her there and she's gone. I'll never forget that. Sucks. :crushed:
08-22-2003, 04:09 AM
FCECC2

blowjob in a dark school parking in my car... then the cop show up for verification and i never saw the damn car comming...
08-22-2003, 06:59 AM
usualsuspect

as I'm taking a girl home from the bar she turns to me and asks, "Do you even know my name." Too lit up to remember, I tell her, "yeah of course I know your name, don't be crazy." Well she didn't stop at that. 2 minutes later she's pissied and tells me she's going back into the bar to hang out with her friends. Nothing like shooting yourself in the foot.

~US~
08-22-2003, 06:18 PM
bermich

Quote:

Originally Posted by usualsuspect

as I'm taking a girl home from the bar she turns to me and asks, "Do you even know my name." Too lit up to remember, I tell her, "yeah of course I know your name, don't be crazy." Well she didn't stop at that. 2 minutes later she's pissied and tells me she's going back into the bar to hang out with her friends. Nothing like shooting yourself in the foot.

~US~

gir "Whats my name???"
you "You mean you have a name??"

That pisses them off but they think you are joking and then they forget what they asked you and you get away with insulting her and not knowing her name.

Anyone ever call a girl the wrong name during sex. OMG they get a look in their eyes like they are gonna cut your dick off. That also ruins the mood.
08-22-2003, 07:34 PM
PaPaPumP

bermich: i had the same thing happen to me performing oral on this girl, she thrust up and boom i knew my nose was gonna bleed...well i trie to keep going, but i had to back up cuz it was starting to pour out, i seriously thought she broke my nose. She felt SOOOO bad, so she ended up giving me head as soon as my nose stopped bleeding.

I've got a couple other doozies, but I'll save em for later .
08-22-2003, 08:38 PM
bigol'legs

When they ask for a condom cause they dont wanna get pregnant. They get kinda mad when you tell them "O dont worry about that, im sterile from all the penicillin my docs got me on".
08-22-2003, 10:54 PM
depdaddy

but then again Deca dick has ruined sure sex as well...nothing like eating pussy for 20 minutes and still being dead
08-23-2003, 02:25 AM
G Child

Drunk ass starred crying for no fucking reason! drunk fucking chicks suck! why me, oh why me... i could be getting some right now if it wrern't for the dang alcohol... not me of course because i'm not drunk... just her.

I'm as cool asa a cucumber? no that can't be right, why is it cool as a cucumer? cucumbers aren't cool. maybe they meant cool as a popsikle or why not cool as a cola? i keep my cola in the cooler so it is pretty cool? or cool as a apple martini? yup, martini! dang, i'm outta vodka right now.... heeeeeeeeelp!
08-23-2003, 07:55 AM
Terinox

Man, this one time I was SOOOOOO close, but the dog ran away!! I got tired running after it for so long, had to settle for some chicken lard.
08-23-2003, 12:59 PM
bermich

Thats why they make leashes...
08-23-2003, 11:33 PM
cfiler

I was pumping my manager when the district manger walked in. I finally was able to nail this milf I was after for a whole year, and that idiot had to show up for a suprise inspection.

Needless to say, it was suggested that I quit my job. I nailed her daughter earlier that year, it would have rocked to have gotten both!
08-24-2003, 05:40 PM
bermich

It would have rocked if you nailed em both AT THE SAME TIME.....
Ive gotten all my other fantasies. The mom daughter thing is next on my list. I HOPE I HOPE.
08-24-2003, 07:08 PM
LOCKDOWN

Quote:

Originally Posted by depdaddy

but then again Deca dick has ruined sure sex as well...nothing like eating pussy for 20 minutes and still being dead

And I thought I was the only one....

I have a bad habbit of blaming it on the chick though. "Hey, it's not my problem you can't get me up! Maybe if you try sucking blood to it..."
08-26-2003, 09:15 AM
shorty2big

the first time my gf brought a friend home for me, it was late night after the bar. We were all fuc*ked up. Anyway, we are all messing around and boning down for quite a while when we decided to take a break, smoke out, and then hit it again. Anyway, we start to go at it again, when I hear the doorbell ring. Now keep in mind, I am all messed up. I go to answer the door, but I am completely naked. It's like 4-5am. I open the door and it's the boyfriend of my gf's friend!!!! Anyway, needless to say, the fun ended. Oh well, I guess it wasn't all a loss cause I got to hit it before he came over.
S2B
08-26-2003, 11:24 AM
talon

Shorty...LOL...Classic, the dude always haz to knock at the damn door...he he he
08-26-2003, 11:58 AM
Butch

Quote:

Originally Posted by usualsuspect

as I'm taking a girl home from the bar she turns to me and asks, "Do you even know my name." Too lit up to remember, I tell her, "yeah of course I know your name, don't be crazy." Well she didn't stop at that. 2 minutes later she's pissied and tells me she's going back into the bar to hang out with her friends. Nothing like shooting yourself in the foot.

~US~

:roflol: that has to be the classic....I think this has haapened to every guy!
08-26-2003, 01:00 PM
bermich

thats why you DONT EVEN ASK her her name. Just one more thing you have to remember about her if she asks.
"whats my name?"
"I dont know, you never told me"
"Oh thats right I didnt did I"
12-09-2003, 03:45 AM
bermich

bump.

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