08-24-2003, 08:07 AM #1
My Friend Needs Help Bout His Girl...
Okay, so I got this friend, and he's been dating this girl for about 4 months now, which is a good long time. They have tons of things in common, and the relationship seems to be going well. They have done SOME things, fooling around, but not actual sex. Minor things, like strokin and kissing and feeling each other up. Now my friend wants to jump this chick pretty bad. The girl does seem willing, and she has done things like dry hump my buddy's leg, and stroke his meat. So, they are pretty intimate or wut not.
HOWEVER, recently, they went AWAY on a mini-vacation to a nice beach and they stayed in a nice motel for about 3 days (two nights). Very nice, clean place, and they went to the beach, did tons of things together, had overall a great time, BUT, both nights she didn't even seem REMOTELY interested in shagging. Now, she does like him, they both be attracted to each other and all that shit, but like I said, he tried to make some moves on her, but she just kinda brushed it off, or would say I'm really tired or full (from dinner), and just went to sleep. Poor friend of mine ended up staying up the WHOLE night, about 6 hours, just lying in bed thinking wut da fuck is going on!
What the hell happened? Why couldn't he get some yum yum?
I told him to calm down, and I gave him my two possible reasons:
1) It was that time of the month, and she didn't really know how to tell him, and so she wasn't really in the mood the two nights.
2) Because it's only been about 3 months they've been serious, but still they haven't become TOO personal (info wise), and they lack a bit in the communications department, I suggested that she thinks it's too soon, probably, and doesn't want to sleep with him yet. But all the other things that SHE HAS done, seems weird, it's like she's sending him mixed signals. So i'm bafoozled as to wtf is going on.
08-24-2003, 08:14 AM #2
There's really nothing your buddy can do but ask her how she feels and how far she wants to take the relationship. If he really likes this girl and wants to build a relationship with her the last thing he wants to do is have her rush into sex before she's ready. It could ruin the relationship.
If she's a virgin I can see her waiting this long but if she's isn't then I don't know what her problem could be. The only way is for him to ask.
08-24-2003, 08:17 AM #3
When a girl wont sleep with me I always figure it is because they have a std and dont want to spread it.
08-24-2003, 08:18 AM #4VET
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Has she even had sex yet ?? She could be a V and your boy doesn't know it. She could be scared.
I think she would have told him if she was on the rag or not.
Hell, maybe she's got herpes and doesn't know how to tell him yet.
08-24-2003, 08:30 AM #5
are you saying metaphorically this "buddy" of mine. If its you having the problems then just talk to her its not that hard they usually have a very good reason not to do it or they are scared I wouldnt push having sex though because with a Virgin when you push it almost never happens you have to make them think you dont care about sex and it is a side thing to the overall relationship. (we all know this isnt true among guys because sex is the number 1 goal in 99% of all heterosexual relationships) They want it they just have that dang thing called estrogen and you have to catch them at the right moment when they are horny and you have had an intellectuall bullshit breakthrough in the relationship... But then 4 months is a long time and if it was going to happen it probably would have by now
08-24-2003, 09:53 AM #6
A related story. Took this girl to Scottsdale from Maryland to visit some friends. We were dating for 5 months. She had been writing me letters about how great the relationship was and that she was in love. Well we get there, I take her to sedona on a jeep tour, the grand canyon, out in the desert, show her the scottsdale nightlife, she was having a blast but she wouldn't have sex the entire time. Then she broke up with me a week after we got back. I never did anything wrong to her, as a matter of fact, two weeks after she broke it off she would invite me to dinner, to concerts, plays, etc. She made it obvious she wanted to start things back up again but after that all she got was a hug, a kiss on the cheek and goodbye.
I think sometimes young girls (she was 22 at the time) are just confused or scared about things getting too serious. Her mom was calling me son in law in front of her.
Anyway. I hope it works out for your friend.
08-24-2003, 10:32 AM #7
You know people tell stories like this all the time and I always think the same thing. She doesn't want to have sex with your friend right now because she doesn't like him that much or in that way, plain and simple. How many times have you heard from one guy that a particular chick is a frigid iceball only to hear a short while later that some other dude charmed the pants off the chick in one night. In the situation you described in your thread, she hasn't yet decided if he's worthy. 4 months is way too long to make that decision, time to dump her ass.
08-24-2003, 12:47 PM #8
Dude I got a friend that went through the exact same thing. He'd been going out with this chick for about 4 months, and I guess he was pushing sex on her. Well they broke up, my friend tried to kill himself (i went to the hospital with him), and now I'm kinda stuck in between them too. She's trying to be friends again, and he doesnt want to be friends, to him its either be his GF or nothing at all. I guess just try and wait till she's ready.
08-24-2003, 03:28 PM #9
C'mon T we all know its you jk bro.. Fuck how old are they? if they're over 20 tell him to fuck it, she obviously doesn't think or want hiim bad enough to fuck him, so he may as well get out now. Cause the longer u wait the harder it is to dump em.... Unless shes a a virgin then he is SOL
08-24-2003, 03:50 PM #10Originally Posted by Full Intensity
Well you see, they have just SO many things in common, and he REALLY is happy with this girl, although it hasn't really reached the "love her" stage, he said he likes her so much he could picture himself settling down and all with this one. They are both my age, 21. And MAN I do wish it was me, oh so much I doooo!! But lamo me doesn't have a girl
I'm starting to really think that she just might be a virgin after all. Although he DOES get mixed signals sometimes. The thing is, she had a boyfriend before (her ex) for ONE FULL year, they dated. However, she hasn't opened up at all about her past boyfriend or other "too personal" information.
So my advice to my buddy was number one, you gotta open up a lot more, and start communicating, cuz that's one of the most important things in a relationship. If you don't communicate, how the hell are you gonna get along better and shit like that. But, also that she might be a virgin, and scared/not ready, and just wants to wait a bit longer. I told him to calm down and relax.
But it's just so weird, I mean, a girl strokes your cock, and she dry humps your thigh, you would think she wants a cock in her
08-24-2003, 05:57 PM #11
SOL = shit outta luck
08-24-2003, 06:30 PM #12AR-Elite Hall of Famer
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I dont understand these people. Can i draw the conclusion that sex in canada isnt as common/people just arent as open? I mean, in Texas for example, if youre not gettin some, you got problems.
08-24-2003, 08:34 PM #13New Member
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Damn bro, if this girls 21 yrs old and not fuckin after 4 months your boys wastin his time and money she should of gave him something after that little vacation. Theres gotta be some other kind of problem. Fuck, maybe shes a furtrader
08-24-2003, 10:15 PM #14
i didnt know they still made 21yo virgins
seriously bro your friend needs to be comended for his patience---if he really cares for this girl and sees a future whats a few months---in a few years he will have gotten it so much he will start the i need strange talk.
looking deeper into this it could be many reasons--like a couple people said
std/herpes and dont know how to tell or afraid of the response
maybe waiting because she wants a real love relationship thats for real not just give up the box lunch and person goes--remember the funest part of the relationship is when getting to know each other,falling for each other then getting it--after the chase is over some people loose those feelings of wanting a person while others feelings grow--maybe she is just holding onto the new phase as long as possible
a real problem could be a serious hangup caused by a rape or molestation when younger--some girls have things done to them and they never get over it and cause damage to relationships the rest of their lives that need counciling or that counciling can not even fix--maybe some way with just "playing"she seems in controland if goes all the way control is gone
the best thing to do is talk--trust and communication is what all good relationships are based on---tell him to ask about the sex find out why she dont want it--tell him not to act like thats the only thing that matters(even though it might be) but he would like to know whats up before relationship goes further(in a caring and sencere way)....she can at least give an answer about why there is no sex if she dont want to throw the boody--and if she is worth waiting then he can explain he will wait or give her the heave if she is not
08-25-2003, 04:44 PM #15
Alright, thanks for the more replies. My friend will read this thread and see where it leads him, and I will keep ya'll posted.
Also, there is nothing wrong with a 21 year old virgin!!! Hell, I'm a 21 year old virgin, so back off!!!
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