There are two girls working the front desk here and whenever I got to the bathroom...
...they know exactly how long I've been in there since I have to go by them to come back in. It's kind of funny since twice now today I've been in there for longer than it would take most people to urinate, which pretty much leaves one thing left. One of them at least seems to be into me (either that or she's just super flirtatious and smiles way too damn much) so this is kind of fun for me. They're both Indian or something and are nice, but I'm not at all attracted to them. I should just take a steamer right beside their desk and then say, "You and you. Let's go. You're in." I wonder if that would be a turn off. Were it me and some girl I liked took a dump beside my desk, I'd interpret it as being an aggressive display of confidence in one's mud flaps. She probably has no interest in me whatsoever and I'm just some egomaniacal asshole. I wish I could read minds.