Funny Newspaper Classifieds
Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. (His name is probably Pete)
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FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
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FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.
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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
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NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
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HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
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GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
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NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
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EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &BOX SPRINGS - $175.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER &DRYER $300.
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ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
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OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married
last month.....Wife knows everything.
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