12-24-2001, 05:02 AM #1The original jason Guest
help me out how do i deal with this????
Ok I work in a foreign country as some of you know, i speak the language and have been here a good while. I have recently like 3 months ago started a new job and its fuckin terrible in the office NOT ONE person will speak to me its like they are resentful cos foreigners earn alot more money than they do. There is all sorts of shit that goes on I wont go into it all but it winds me up for sure, some days like now I want to rip someones head right off. Its a shame cos most of them are girls and I dont say anything about anything but they are so selfish I have never worked with a group of people like it. There is one girl who has been a friend to me and all the others have stopped speaking to her I dont understand it when I got here I went out of my way to be nice and still am polite say hello and goodbye but get ignored alot of the time. I am about to give up and say fuck it I am sick of feeling this way when I havent done anything apart from my job. It is like im an alien here. Anyone been in this situation got any ideas?? cos I am lost dont know what to do for the best someone help before I go on one and lose it
12-24-2001, 05:57 AM #2
I don't know what to do to make your co-workers change, or exept you.. One thing for sure is that you job is a huge part of your life. You spend more time at your job than anything els you do.. So you need to be happy. If you are unhappy for this great part of your life, it will effect you and others around you.
I am sure you allready know this.. You need to be happy, so don't feel bad if you need a change, it would be the right thing to do. Good Luck.
12-24-2001, 07:54 AM #3
Actions speak louder than words. I had a high profile job in the military when I was stationed overseas and I worked in a job where my only interaction was with foriegn counterparts. I was the only american. I got the same cold shoulder for quite awhile. I was the black sheep and dealt with the same feelings you are. I let my actions speak for me. I refused to let them break me. I vowed to myself that if they never spoke to me or included me in what they did than that was fine. I came to work, did my job above and beyond and always was accomodating to everyones requests and needs. I swore that if they never spoke to me until I left that I did my best and they could never fault me for it. They would realize that they couldn't get to me. It took a bit of time but they eventually warmed up to me and I made some good friends. I know it sounds kinda hokey but you represent your country and people will make sweeping judgements of your country by your actions. "If he acts like this then they all do" Make your time there your "Commitment to Excellence" Do your best and when you leave there and no one ever spoke to you, then you at least know you did your personal best and take that feeling home with you.
12-24-2001, 07:56 AM #4
Sorry to hear it, Jason. If there's one person who's more inclined to talk to you I would try to sit down with him/her and see if they'll spill anything. I have the tendency to flat out ask people if there's a problem. Doesn't always work, but if you word it so they aren't on the defensive they might be willing to work it out. People are strange, there could be quite a few reasons they're acting like that.
Good luck and hopefully whatever you decide is what's going to make you happy.
12-24-2001, 08:11 AM #5The original jason Guest
Thanks for all the replies bro's Bravo I like your idea I kinda have that idea too just sometimes the whole situation gets to me. I think I wasnt feeling myself to today cos on the way home l lost it got some road rage situations and thought to myself what is goin on. Anyway about the work situation right now I just go in and sit down and do my job best I can and within 3 months I have been made a manager of in my company and they hate me more for that I think, but guess I just go to do my best thanks for all the replies hope it gets better
12-24-2001, 09:59 AM #6
What country is it?
12-24-2001, 11:51 AM #7
I think you got the right idea there J. Just keep doing your job the best that you can. If they don't like you at least they have to respect you for your work ethic eventually. Plus it looks like your company recognizes the work you do. That in it's self is priceless. I think most foreign countries see Americans as being lazy and spoilt. So if they see your not like that maybe they'll come around.
12-24-2001, 12:22 PM #8
How you should act, all depends on what country you are working in. For example, some countries you have to build relationships outside the work place before you will be accpeted. Let me know what country you are working in and I'll help you? (I just took a global management grad class)
12-24-2001, 01:20 PM #9
I would just think about your self. They have the problem not you bro. At the end of the day you go home and to the gym were your real friends are...
PLUS YOU HAVE GOT US....
12-25-2001, 04:11 AM #10The original jason Guest
Thanks again for all the replies I am within SE Asia Land of Smiles, anyway been here a while and have a really good understanding of the culture and religeon here have some good friends and also my g/f is from this country they all say that its pretty normal behaviour for people to treat you this way one guy reckons I should change my approach and just be totally ruthless with them but I am not sure about that however he has been here 15 years and seems to do well I mean like I am a quiet guy and my anger stays within they dont know but I have a hard time he says if somone pisses me off I should just tell them straight and ask what they problem is, however my experience of these people and confrontational situation tells me they just close down to that and wont even answer so I think I will miss that approach untill im the boss I meant to say I was made a manger within the company but its still a good position. I will keep going see where i get to thanks again guys
12-25-2001, 10:37 AM #11
12-25-2001, 11:29 AM #12
sorry brother !
I hope I am not too late on this B4 a decision to QUIT might have been acted on .....
Look brother ... I know all too well regarding this .... I work often in sales ... several businesses I have I have to sell... Salemen in general have to overcome many obstacles .... And in a back-biting , knife throwing and back-stabbing that goes on ....
Head games are ( unfortunatly ) part of big business ...
This is what I suggest :
These girls are obviously trying to break you down enough to get you to quit... If you feel this job doesn't pay well, limited growth or you have better offers , then by all means seek a better deal ...
However I would make them eat their words .... These girl or ( OFFICE TYPES ) are easily manipulated ... Seek only those out that will help you advance at your job ... the others are road trash .... Learn all you can to advance your position ... Take any courses you will need to get the next laddered position ... Take into consideration who is helping you and who is not ....
This self absorbed work mode will keep you to busy to focus on the negative feedback .... Stay focussed that getting ahead of these vultures is of Prime concern ...
Just a quick point on these girls ... They are focussed on getting you out , I take it .. This can be used against them ... and by you not allowing your work to suffer and as well as taking the initiative to move foreward will only make them worse in the eyes of the boss ...
Now with this new force of vengence , you must not be effected at work by them ... pour hot coals so to speak by remaining friendly , always keep your progress known by your bosses ...
Then once you have achieved position over these perisites .... CAN EM ........ You may very well be able to have them fired just because of the lack of cooperation that is apparent ....
One other thing , remember that The Head Cheese is really only concerned about one thing ... MONEY ... This also means they don't like paying people who don't work hard or produce .... with your surge to progress, it will be easy to ( cautiously ) point out how unresponsive others may have been to Help THE COMPANY move foreward ...
Never allow others to dictate your life brother.... what goes around comes around ..... I say go after it .... It will only make you stronger .. by the test and trials we encounter .... good luck bro ...
12-25-2001, 12:21 PM #13
i agree...you're there to do a job. try to be nice to people, but if they're gonna be dicks, there's nothing you can do about it. i'm not sure what you do, but if you could find a way to mkae everyone else's job easier, that could be a big help
12-26-2001, 03:14 AM #14
I think that you should tell everybody exactly how you feel. They may still not like you afterwards, but they'll respect you for being honest. If that fails, just dance! Everyone loves a good old Footloose impression.
12-27-2001, 02:26 AM #15The original jason Guest
wow thanks for that MM good points I Kinda think like that but you well reinforced it, I will keep looking back at this when i feel pissed off with it all funny right now its somoene bday and they all went to buy a cake and a card but failed to ask me to contribute or even invlove me makes me sad they turned all the lights off in the office to give this cake I just thought fuck em sat at my desk and kept working, so ignorant. Anyway I have just made plans for my new department and made many refs to my plans and efforts for this company and many refs as to how uncoperative most of the new staff I have put in a request to employ new staff that I will train and make sure they have my way of thinking that if we all work together we all benfit in the end. Thanks again for the input
12-27-2001, 12:36 PM #16
There is a couple movies to rent here brother ....
How to be successful in business without really trying ( old but funny )
and its copy : secret of my success ....( michael fox )
The point of these is to remain possitive ... You obviously are a threat to these freaks ... don't let that stop you ... Use it to your benefit ... Never let em see you sweat ... This is something I feel will HELP YOU ...believe it or not ...
I feel that if one has to be in a nuturing job , where everything is fluffy and soft ...it just makes us weak ... I have been in that enviroment B4 ... let me tell you something .. there are the HARD NOSED back-stabbing people there too.... and its when you least expect it and by the least likely .... At least you reallize this going in ...
Get your cammies, your M-16 and your poker face...dig yourself a trench with sme sand bags around you ... you going to war and you take no prisoners ....
You are tougher than they are ... You have proven your dedication to your workout and your diet ... whats harder than that? this is a cake walk ...
Oh yeh ... watch Pumping Iron again ... or a Arnold biography .... Understand some of his statements about turning negative thinking off ... This is huge in business .... Focus on moving passed these people as fast and effective as possible and they will be eating the crumbs you are dropping on the floor .... oh Master ....hehehe
Good luck brother .... You can do it
12-27-2001, 01:28 PM #17Retired IRON CHEF Mod
- Join Date
- Dec 1969
Sorry to hear about this Jay. You are one of the nicest people I know and I can only say it is their loss. I personally would come right out and ask them what their problem was. ( In a nice sort of way of course) And remember you can't change thehactions of others. You have absolutley no control over that what so ever, so if the response that you get is not what you want to hear, Just let it go. Life is to short to worry about what you do not have any control over.
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)