Thread: Jesus stole my camel
10-02-2003, 12:57 PM #1
Jesus stole my camel
Let me preface this tirade by saying that I am sick. I have a cold so I could die anytime and may not finish this post (my cold is the unfortunate result of my ODing episode on Sunday for those who did not read about it or who have Altzeimer's disease and have forgotten about it).
Anyways, so my friend wants to go out last night for a bit. I agree to go smoke a joint and get high - to make myself feel better you understand. Anyways, his friend (who is a cab driver) wants to go to some woman's house who he met the previous day. We go and man alive I have never believed any of the bullshit you see on Jerry Springer until now. We walk in and there's this horrificly unattractive portly woman sitting on her couch drinking Colt 45 out of a jar. Right away I'm like, "Oh fuck." She's drunk off her ass and her teenage daughter is there with her, fucked up on who knows what. The daughter has fresh slash marks all over her wrists (mom just has scars) and when some other young person walks into the room (who I thought was a guy at first), her mom anounces that it's the daughter's lesbin fiance and as soon as it's legal they're getting hitched. Great. Good for her. I'm pretty much shaking I'm so depressed and frightened at this point. Nobody seemed to be rolling a joint so rather rudely, I grabbed the weed and a paper and started rolling myself.
The ugly mom keeps talking non-stop and asks us if we might have seen her other daughter who has been missing for a while. She then goes on to tell us about her third daughter who was taken away from her by the government and given to a foster family. The foster family then moved to Jerusalem so she's pretty pissed off about that. I'm thinking, "You know what might help? Maybe try not being a negligent parent. That's where I'd start anyways." She's going on about the weed she scores from her daughter's high school and all kinds of gibberish. I sucked back the majority of the joint by myself to hurry things along - fortunately nobody seemed to notice. The strange lady then starts going on about how she knew one of us from years ago and how he used to wear glasses and date some fat chick. Clearly, she was in her world at that point so I made a mad sprint for the car. Dear God. We were invited to go back anytime at all so if anyone wants to go, just let me know.
10-02-2003, 01:03 PM #2
I'd go to see that freak show. They are the best type of people to f**k with. You can say stuff about them to their faces and they have no clue it's about them.
10-02-2003, 01:10 PM #3Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
i'm always down for some hillbilly hijinks!!Originally Posted by Nathan
i for one feel that we must get back to wild west morals in our own lives. next time you see some degenerates like this hillbilly situation just get your six shooter, politely say, "listen you, meet me at sundown in the town square because i'm going to shoot you."
this approach is what needs to be taken with these hillbilly bastards.i'm all too tired of paying taxes for trash like this!
i urge all of you to contact your local congress and force a return to traditional wild west values.
oh and nathan, next time you go over there can i come?
10-02-2003, 01:11 PM #4Respected Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Miller's Crossing
Jesus stole my camel
Nathan stole my moments.
Thanks for the invite though
10-02-2003, 05:41 PM #5
uhh huh please tell em the grass is three feet high and there is a car on blocks in the front yard.
10-02-2003, 05:46 PM #6Originally Posted by TheMudMan
10-02-2003, 06:44 PM #7
when do you expect to get your camel back?
10-03-2003, 01:33 PM #8Originally Posted by rambo
10-03-2003, 02:03 PM #9
I came here to read about a camel and find out it was all a lie! I'm not reading another of you're threads for at least 10 minutes. False advertising! I still like you but damn it I was really interested in the camel thingy.
10-03-2003, 02:03 PM #10
You could have at least had a tie in too a camel toe on one of the girls or something. Still pissed!
10-03-2003, 02:07 PM #11
Stole your Camel?!! We should hunt him down and crucify him!!! Oh . . .yeah. I forgot that didn't really work out too well last time. But its sure was a neat trick - wanna do it again? I bet Jerry would love to have us!
(I know I'm going to Hell now, but at least I'm having fun while I'm still here. )
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