Why Earth is the greatest planet out there

**Nathan** · 07-28-2003, 08:34 AM

I think the most obvious reason is the platypus. I mean, have you ever seen one of those things? Not only do they have webbed feet and are furry, but they also have a beak, which means if you punch it in the face, it's likely not going to hurt it. I think that any planet on which a creature like the platypus can evolve should be granted special privileges, such as moons made of gold and an excessive amount of pretty guys named Nathan.
Earth is also like the shiniest planet ever. If there were some hot 10 billion pound chick floating by, and she caught her reflection upon glancing at Earth, I'm sure she'd say, "Hot damn! My tits are gigantic." I can't speak for other people, but I for one like the idea of living on a planet that might grant me the opportunity to see a pair of 1 billion pound tits.
Our humble planet is also home to the toddler. At first glance, babies don't look like much, but when you're camping in the woods and are in jeopardy of being mauled by a bear, you'll be glad you have something to feed that thing.
Without Earth, Mars would be the third closest planet to the Sun. Were that the case, people would still exist, but they'd all be fat and ugly. Imagine a planet filled to the brim with fat, ugly people. That's a lot of people I'd have to kill.
Finally, Earth is home to numerous technological marvels. While it hasn't been invented yet, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we create unicorn cyborgs. We'll call them Unicrons and they'll shoot laser beams out of their horns. Not only would they transport us wherever we wanted to go, but we'd totally get laid like all the time if we rode to bars on one of those things.

**Nathan** · 07-28-2003, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by hercules88

you fogot the most important thing... the platypuss besides having an awsome name also has a poisenous bite. so i would watch it nathan if you to go platypuss punching.

i two would love to see a pair of 1 billion lbs tits. better yet i would love to jump on them like a trampoline. but wouldnt this tits be so big that they might block out the sun causing a nother iceage all due to a pair of tits. i dont think tits are worth the end of the world.

japan has had unicrons for like 3 years now where have you been. they are a huge tourist atraction over there. you havnt visited unicron land...hard to believe.

i do have one question for you do the unicrons fly or do they transport like in star treck? just curious cause i found one on ebay i might bid on.

High five?

**Juggernaut** · 07-28-2003, 01:42 PM

I'm dieing over here..............you two have to stop it you're killing me.

Nathan, whatever you're on.................up the dosage.

**Grant** · 10-18-2003, 01:41 AM

i had to bump this, i miss his posts

**bermich** · 10-18-2003, 04:26 PM

Dont see him much. Every month he picks the lock and manages to gain access to AR and posts one thread and then leaves for another month. I guess that is all we can take of him at certain times maybe.

**big daddy k de** · 10-18-2003, 04:30 PM

hhahaha nice you make some good points. always a pleaser to read your thed lol

**Da Bull** · 10-18-2003, 04:37 PM

LMAO..........funny shit bro!

**New GearGuy** · 10-20-2003, 12:49 PM

**jeffylyte** · 10-20-2003, 01:05 PM

while I think that the 10 billion pound chick might look good in earth's reflective cool blue glow dont discount the amount her presense will incense the ugly red hued people of mars. you see they do exist. in an alternate reality, the earth was blown up by one of my gigantic flatulations (they have a mind of their own, such that I call them deloris). now deloris having destroyed the earth and ripped a hole in the universe allows said red-eyed arakis looking ugly martians to view into our reality seeing the platypus, unicrons, and the 10 billion pound chick. being jealous, they might just use thier oversized brains and mu-ray us thereby destroying life as we know it. of course they may be blinded by our shiny happy selves and miss. just a thought. praise be deloris!