Help a brother out!

**nevaenuf** · 10-30-2003, 12:51 PM

Me and my girlfriend live together. We live in my house, I pay all the bills, and I pick up the check everywhere we go. All she pays for is her cell phone and her car note and insurance. Well I think that she should do most of the cooking and cleaning because I am the provider of our "family", but she thinks because she works alot more hours than me that I should do most of the cooking and cleaning. This is a big fight we are having right now and I was wondering if I could get a little support.

I got to go. Its time to clean the damn kitchen.

**Farmer** · 10-30-2003, 01:04 PM

I loved the last line of the post "clean the kitchen"..you guys really need to work out some sort of compromise. On a quick note, she works more hours than you yet you are picking up all the expeneses? Either your making bank or taking it with no K-Y. I'd sit down with her with a calculator and bills in hand and start going over stuff, maybe she doesn't realize exactly the amount of cash your putting out all the time. Just my quick 2 cents..

Peace

Farmer

***asymmetrical1*** · 10-30-2003, 01:18 PM

when you cook and clean, f*** it up real good....she'll have no choice to take over.

**Da Bull** · 10-30-2003, 01:20 PM

Yes a sit down is in order to work things out,everything will be fine,this isn't that big a deal.Come to a compromise.

**mass junkie** · 10-30-2003, 01:31 PM

You have my support 100% bro........

**TheMudMan** · 10-30-2003, 01:35 PM

Bro......... I would let her know she has to help out somewhere.... either it's with the bills, cleaning and cooking or both but you can't let her take avantage of you.

**Grant** · 10-30-2003, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by nevaenuf

Me and my girlfriend live together. We live in my house, I pay all the bills, and I pick up the check everywhere we go. All she pays for is her cell phone and her car note and insurance. Well I think that she should do most of the cooking and cleaning because I am the provider of our "family", but she thinks because she works alot more hours than me that I should do most of the cooking and cleaning. This is a big fight we are having right now and I was wondering if I could get a little support.

I got to go. Its time to clean the damn kitchen.

This reminds me of an old Heavy D song. "What's mine is mine, and what's your is mine" Her working more hours than you would only be relevant if she was paying for things. If she is giving zero contribution, than all she is doing is adding to her bank account which does not help you out at all. You are getting fucked! This hits a nerve with me because i had a chick that wanted me to pay for everything, but i fixed that real quick. She wants you to do all the cooking and cleaning? Do it, and eat it all!

**RON** · 10-30-2003, 01:40 PM

Fuck cooking and cleaning bro. Make her pay half!!!! She needs to put some funds in the kitty.

**ripped4fsu** · 10-30-2003, 01:47 PM

IMO the guys are right... number of hours worked is irrelevant. You should list out all the shared expenses… rent, utilities, cable etc… and both pay half, and both do half the housework. You can adjust it from there however you’d like… “I’ll pay 2/3 of the bills, if you do 2/3 of the housework." As for personal shit (car notes, cell phone, exotic massages etc…) keep those out of the equation.

Now be warned my brotha, there’s an old saying “Women actually rule the world because they have half the money and all the P****!” Meaning don’t fuck with her too hard or you might find yourself with a serious case of the blue balls… Especially if you’re cycling TEST! It’s a fine line you’re about to walk…

**mammoth** · 10-30-2003, 01:51 PM

Take it from a married man with children whos been through this issue. A couple of things that you two should consider. One is that unless she is a stay at home mom then she is responsible for half of the chores as well as half of the expenses. In order for this relationship to pan out then this is a must-address issue. If you guys can't work it out then you guys wil never last. Alot of couples in your situation will do chores EOD. You do them one day and then she does them the next. Don't be a pussy!! Stand up for yourself and make her pull her weight. I lived with my wife for 3 years before we got married and that is exactly how things went. Now she is a stay-at-home mom, so she does all the chores and cooks all the meals now. Me, I pay all the bills and provide her with her shopping money. Good trade-off if you ask me!

All in all don't let her get you into the habit of bending backwards to suit her. You don't want to be the wife in the relationship!

**Testify** · 10-30-2003, 01:59 PM

I agree with Farmer. You should split expenses. If she works more hours than you, it makes sense that she has less time than you to do chores and such. But that has no bearing on her ability to pull her financial weight - you're not even married yet!!

I lived with my girlfriend before we were married last year and we more or less split the bills. She paid the utilities, except for my cell phone and car insurance, and I paid the rent. It was approximately equal. We would split food, each of us paying every other week. It worked great. If she is unwilling to do a little housework in exchange for a "free ride," something is wrong. That deal is hugely in her favor.

Ask her to pay half and do half. Fair is fair, right?

**nevaenuf** · 10-30-2003, 02:01 PM

Well, accually I make a considerable amount more money than she does and it does not hurt me to pay for everything, and she only makes enough to pay for her stuff and maybe have a little spending cash. So it would be impossible for her to help out with the bills.

**Testify** · 10-30-2003, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by nevaenuf

Well, accually I make a considerable amount more money than she does and it does not hurt me to pay for everything, and she only makes enough to pay for her stuff and maybe have a little spending cash. So it would be impossible for her to help out with the bills.

Point taken, bro. Counterpoint: If there is no ring on her finger, then she is still just a girlfriend. She should be willing to contribute something approximating her share in cash or labor, or both, if she is serious about your relationship.

**RON** · 10-30-2003, 02:14 PM

We'll I don't know how many hours she works but she is probably pretty tired no matter what she gets paid. I would think if you both work full time the house work should be should be 50/50. If the bills aren't split 50/50 thats on you for doing it that way. I don't think she should have to do more work around the house just cause you make more per week. Just an opinion from an old married guy but i can see her point

**nevaenuf** · 10-30-2003, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by RON

We'll I don't know how many hours she works but she is probably pretty tired no matter what she gets paid. I would think if you both work full time the house work should be should be 50/50. If the bills aren't split 50/50 thats on you for doing it that way. I don't think she should have to do more work around the house just cause you make more per week. Just an opinion from an old married guy but i can see her point

I think I started to understand the way she feels when everybody started agreeing with me. I wanted to take up for her, but I was the one who was disagreeing with her. I guess I need to stop giving her a hard time. Thanks for the help.

**Hitman** · 10-30-2003, 11:02 PM

Fuck mate, dont you start feeling guilty. My wife at the moment was like that and man was she a fuckin lazy bitch around the house. You have to lay it on the line to her that your the main bread winner and live in servent and that shit dont wash, she must get at least one day off work a week so on that day you get to do fuck all!!!!! sounds like the only compromise your going to get...or not......Hitman

Swellin · 10-30-2003, 11:59 PM

Originally Posted by Hitman

.... My wife at the moment was like that.......

Reminds me of another line..."I'm currently in between ex-wives."
Or..."Meet xxxx, my future ex-wife."

**Dude-Man** · 10-31-2003, 12:08 AM

Maybe she's in need of a better job if all she can afford are her cell phone payments and car insurance. Especially if she's working far more hours than you.