What to do? personal prob

[cooksbrut]

what to do? I'm around 25years old. I want to get back with my ex and make us a family with my son. she doesnt want to now. But now she is dating this guy, she says it not because of him, she says that she needs to move on for a while. I understand I was an asshole( hey the kicker for the eagles just walked in to my office awesome anyway sorry) but I don't care that i was an asshole i want to get back. having some dude around my son is pissing me off now. I didn't care for a while but with the holidays its bothering me terribly. I am considering kicking his ass, but I don't like to fight, but at the same token i think I would feel great. I even told her that I want to get married and all. I am honestly and truley ready to be a husband.. I have been a great father, get my son at least 3x a week, I was just a shitty fiance/boyfriend. thanks for reading my ramblings.

[mammoth]

First off.. What did this guy do to deserve you kicking his ass? Second...obviously something happened to cause the break so what was it. You need to respect her and her boyfriend. If she loves you and wants to be with you then she will ask you back. The only thing you can do is express your love for her. Don't push the issue and be prepared if she says no. It takes more than being a great father to have a meaningful relationship. You can be the greatest father in the world but if you are a shitty husband, your kids will hate you for it. Good luck!

[mass junkie]

no need to kick her boyfriends ass......Its only gonna make you look bad in her eyes especially if you want to get back with her.. I suggest that you keep it cool go back and talk with her and be honest lay down your intentions..I know what you mean about wanting to be a family and being with your son. Just be cool about it bro and good luck....................oh and if you see that kicker from the eagles again punch him in the nose and tell him its from mass junkie for beating the Bills!!!!!!

[cooksbrut]

he hasn't done anything.. I know its immature. I realize that but its driving me crazy, I just feel like i need to lay down the law with the guy but urrrrrrrr it just gets me annoyed

[Juggernaut]

Forget about getting into a fight with this guy because she'll hate you for it wether you win or lose. Best thing to do is to tell her your feelings and hope for the best. Like Mammoth said be prepared to hear bad news if she dosen't feel the same way.

no matter what be there for your son. Don't let him end up calling the other man daddy. Good luck bro.

[hoss827]

Hey bro, I'm only 16 but I was the kid in this kind of situation. Yeah, it is a bitch I will give you that. But don't kick the guy's ass, no matter how hard it is. It'll cause problems with your ex, and your son may even look down on you for it. Talk things out with her, be patient, tell her how much you love her and be prepared for a no if she doesn't want you back, it does happen alot. Eventually her and the new guy will probably have a problem and split up for a little bit or take a break, thats when you should make your move . Good luck bro, lemme know how it goes.

[hybrid]

All you can do, like it or not, is give it time. If it was meant to work out, it will. Just keep doing the right things and acting the right way. If your ex doesn't figure it out, her loss. Some girl will and you'll be better for it.

[cooksbrut]

i see bdtr is viewing dying to see if he responses. I have told her. she has said that she needs to do this now, but its eating at me, when i go to sleep when I wake up. I love dating and sleeping with new women but its just not as fullfilling as it was... dunno thinking about bartending part-time for a change of pacejust like 2 nights a week.. figured that might snap me back into not caring as much

[TheMudMan]

You need to move on............. If she doesn't want to be with you then that's what you need to do. Don't beat this guy up either. He did nothing to you and is doing nothing wrong dating your ex-girl. What you need to do is keep being a good father and learn from your mistakes.

Good luck.

[BIG TEXAN]

Like these guys said be patient, if she decides to take you back she will, if not than move on with your own life. just be there for your son. As for kicking this guy's ass.... why? If she does decide to stay with him and not come back to you, than just move on and be a good father.

[monster.]

Relax Relax - Chances are you guys will get back together... Depending on how long you were with her, you actually have a bond with her that no other dude can replace, plus you have a child... This dude is most likely a rebound, he means nothing just a fill in...because all those nights she's wondering who ur screwing she needs the attention, she needs a bozo to take her mind off of you. She's actually trying to make you feel like she did when you were ur "asshole" mode...

Beating his ass defintley will teach this dude a lesson... but don't beat his ass cause he's boning your girl...he's just being a guy... Beat his ass if he talks shit or touches ur son...then you teach him a lesson... Plus if you destroy this dork... chances are that can ruin it for you and her... then you become the bully and i'd say the majority of chicks feel sorry for the dude that is in the hospital and not the aggressor lolll...<<happened to me>> very disappointing feeling being alone and watching the girl you love walk away with some dude...

just my 2 cents

good luck...find yourself a cycle whore and keep yourself busy till she comes around

take care bro

monster

[bornbad71]

Bro this is gonna sound like what all the others have said(that's because they are right)......reguardless of weather u and your ex get back together....you have a son.....so your job is to be the best father u can be...love him, care for him, hug him, enjoy him for they grow up so fast....if your son looks up to you then there is no other man that can take your place in his eyes.

Only u and her know why ya'll split.....talk to her and let her know what your feelings are......but whatever the outcome......move forward either with her or without......time heals all wounds.

Ow and don't mess with this other guy......unless he does something to your child...then and only then take care of business.

[BUYLONGTERM]

bro, you just describe me!!! No shit, I was married, 2 kids and she told me she wants time alone for awhile. Next thing I know I got her an apartment, and right after that we got divorced. Get this. She is now with my X best friend and they live together. For 3 years I've wanted to kick his ass, but again all that will do is make me look bad in my kids eyes, and they mean the world to me. They are the most important things in my life! I have to be a role model for them. The more you bother her, the more she will push you away. Give her some space. Maybe in due time she will remember the goods things, but the more you try and get back together with her, the more she will remember the bad times. But be prepared to move on. It's the worst thing to think of, but eventually with good friends you will get over it. The good news with me is I get to see my kids 4+ days a week.

If you ever need to talk bro, PM me.

[Tock]

what to do? I'm around 25years old. I want to get back with my ex and make us a family with my son. she doesnt want to now. But now she is dating this guy, she says it not because of him, she says that she needs to move on for a while. I understand I was an asshole( hey the kicker for the eagles just walked in to my office awesome anyway sorry) but I don't care that i was an asshole i want to get back. having some dude around my son is pissing me off now. I didn't care for a while but with the holidays its bothering me terribly. I am considering kicking his ass, but I don't like to fight, but at the same token i think I would feel great. I even told her that I want to get married and all. I am honestly and truley ready to be a husband.. I have been a great father, get my son at least 3x a week, I was just a shitty fiance/boyfriend. thanks for reading my ramblings.

==================

Sounds like your girlfriend is really missing a prize . . .

First you say, " I understand I was an asshole"
then you say, "but I don't care that i was an asshole "

Sounds like you're saying that you've been an asshole, don't care, and have no plans to stop being an asshole. Geez, I can't imagine why your girlfriend doesn't just leap at the opportunity to marry a bonafide hopeless asshole.

--

Ok, here's my advice.

Find yourself a counselor to help you figure out why you're an asshole. This is a must-do; obnoxious people very seldom have the introspective abilities to figure out what makes them toxic to other people. Then resolve to change, to rid yourself of this asshole-ism that afflicts your personality. After that, and ONLY after that, should you trouble your girlfriend (or any other girl for that matter) with your presence.

Yah, I s'pose this sounds pretty strong, but I'm dead serious. If you know you're an asshole but don't give a shit, man oh man, you've got problems you don't even know about. If you expect to have a healthy relationship with another adult, you gotta learn how.

--Tock

[palme]

What a suprise...a shitty boyfriend gets dumped. You should have thought about that from the beginning! It´s always easy being aftersmart.
I understand your hutring, but if she has moved on it´s something you need to respect. I hope your not going to start a fight with him just cause she likes him over you now. That aint right, you have yourself to blame for her leaving you in the first place.
Be there for your son (as you are) and try and move on.

[cooksbrut]

thanks to all so far... however to a few (cough umm tock & palme) I realize that I was an ass don't need you to point it out. the Question was what to do now thats it, but thanks anyway.

[big daddy k de]

Well, man i wouldn't hit the guy it will only make things worse. If your girl wont listen to you maybe you can write her a letter and tell her how you feal... I mean it is your kid and you deserve to see him. ( the kicker ha they are just retarded soccer players) where about in NJ do you live? Hope things work out