Thread: Hey BigOl'Legs...
11-09-2003, 10:07 AM #1
So I had prepared to let this one drop last night, but I'm going to lay it on you now. I left the apartment last night with one goal in mind- to avenge the theft of my banana. I was not satisfied with it's current position being so ambigious to a frolicking fruity fellatio between your quads. It was after my third 40 of Old English that I trekked to Jamba Juice to purchase a Mango-A-Go-Go to mix with my vodka that I was approached with the answer to my quandry. Dressed in traditional business attire, the two stunted Japanese merchants approached me with a definite air of intent. They wasted no time in their proposal. I was immediately in agreement and hurredly flopped my testicles onto the table- the japanese cultural equivalent to "Agreed". I set out immediately to accomplish my task. I only stopped to take a dump on the chests of two hookers, but other than those miniscule distractions I was focused on my mission. Entering the club I was greeted with a pungeant mixture of urine and Crisco. Upon heading to the basement I decided to leave. I had no intent to go butts-to-nuts with Samoan boulder throwers today. It was ultimate frisbee time. After several sit downs at a Philipino whorehouse I decided that the allosteric regulation of photophructokinase in the Kreb cycle was indeed the reason the Banana was so integral. I headed out again, this time to the balcony of the Hilton. There was a fruit tray set on the table, and it beckoned me. I called over the cabana boy, Raul. I asked him who sliced the bananas that had been mixed in with peaches and other assorted sugary delights. He responded that he was unaware of the origin of said fruits. I became very frustrated with Raul's incompetence. I decided that Raul was lying to me, it was obvious he was in on it all along. I grabbed Raul by his left testicle.
"Why do you taunt me so?!"
"Sir, please let go of my testicle, jour hurting Raul."
"Raul, who sliced these bananas!?"
"Sir please, I sometimes use dis testicle, and jou are twisting it, it hurts Raul."
"I have no time for testicle talk! Give me names!"
"I can not give names, good sir. They will find me!"
"Raul I will pull off this testicle..I'm going to count to three...1....2...."
"OK! OK! Sir I swear I do not know his name, but his legs are very big! Very big!"
I freed my grasp on the cabana boy's testicle, and grabbed the nearest pineapple, and forcibly lodged it up his already bleeding colon. That will teach him. I only had one more thing to do. I called the Samoan. A beast of a man, his enormous penis only overshadowed by the size of his enormous vagina. He had done work for me before, and he would have no problem filling my request.
"Samoan, can you travel to the mainland for me? I have someone you need to take care of."
"Who should I look for sir?"
"He has very big legs, Samoan, very big legs..."
11-09-2003, 12:12 PM #2
Wow...rambo, you're starting to scare me man
My favorite part "He has very big legs, Samoan, very big legs..."
11-09-2003, 12:18 PM #3
Rambo that was classic bro............but u got way to much time on your hands.......finish the story...does he find the very big legged guy?
11-09-2003, 12:26 PM #4
He always scares me.........last thread I'll read of his.
11-09-2003, 02:04 PM #5
HAHAHHAHA im bustin up here rambo.. and the BANANA IS MINE!!!!
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