Mister penis requests a raise

[Hitman]

I got this from a chick i know, its kinda long but still funny......enjoy.



Subject: A Raise
>
>
>Penis requesting a Raise
>
> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
>reasons:
>
> I do physical labor.
> I work at great depths.
> I plunge head first into everything I do.
> I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
> I work in a damp environment.
> I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> I work in high temperatures.
> My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
>
>
> Dear Penis,
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
> raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
> reasons:
>
> You do not work 8 hours straight.
> You fall asleep after brief work periods.
> You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
> You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
> order to start working.
> You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
> the correct protective clothing.
> You will retire well before you are 65.
> You are unable to work double shifts.
> You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed
> the assigned task.
> And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
> exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>
> Sincerely,
> The Management

[Red Ketchup]

There is only one possible reply to this...

Rodney Carrington's
Dear Penis

Dear Penis,
I dont think I like you anymore...
You used to watch me shave, now all ya do is stare at the floor
Oh dear penis, i dont like you anymore.

It used to be just you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine
thats all we needed to get by...
Now it seems that things have changed and I think you are the one to blame dear penis, I dont like you anymore.

AND HE SINGS

Dear Rodney.
I dont think I like you anymore.
cuz when you get to drinkin, ya put me places Ive never been before
dear rodney, i dont like you anymore.

Why cant we get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship
come to terms with truely how we fell

If we put our heads together, we'll just stay home forever dear penis, I think i like you after all.

Oh and rodney while your shavin shave my balls

[monster.]

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

[realityarts]

[BigMike J]

There is only one possible reply to this...

Rodney Carrington's
Dear Penis

Dear Penis,
I dont think I like you anymore...
You used to watch me shave, now all ya do is stare at the floor
Oh dear penis, i dont like you anymore.

It used to be just you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine
thats all we needed to get by...
Now it seems that things have changed and I think you are the one to blame dear penis, I dont like you anymore.

AND HE SINGS

Dear Rodney.
I dont think I like you anymore.
cuz when you get to drinkin, ya put me places Ive never been before
dear rodney, i dont like you anymore.

Why cant we get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship
come to terms with truely how we fell

If we put our heads together, we'll just stay home forever dear penis, I think i like you after all.

Oh and rodney while your shavin shave my balls

That dude is funny as hell.

[bigol'legs]

... red start a dam Joke Thread and spill the beans...

[hercules88]

great post hitman. thats some funny shit.