Thread: Houston Texas
12-20-2003, 08:30 AM #1
I just thought this was hilarious and wanted to share with everyone....
For those who will be visiting the fair city of Houston for
the Superbowl in January!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Ewe-stun",not "Huestun." Oh yea, it is pronounced "San Phil-a-pee," not "San Phil-eep" (San Felipe).
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high- speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610".... which has no beginning and no end.
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic...a "Scenic Drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear- ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.
7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.
8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!!!."
10.If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
11.All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.
12.The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
13.The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.
14.Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
15.If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.
16.The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.
17.If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
18.When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
19.You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.
12-20-2003, 08:41 AM #2Respected Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Miller's Crossing
I love this place
12-20-2003, 11:53 AM #3
Only people who live there and have been there a time or two will get a kick out of that!
Best one is the thing about construction!!!
12-20-2003, 04:03 PM #4
nothing better than getting stuck in traffic on the highway when its around 110 degrees...has to be one of the worst smelling places in the states...
12-20-2003, 10:46 PM #5
huh..lol i'll keep all this in mind when i spend my FIRST 4 days in Houston this March......might even think about skippin the sight seeing, catchin a cap to 6 flags and spending the rest of the weekend in the hot tub
12-21-2003, 09:34 AM #6
Is anyone on the board coming to Houston for the Superbowl? I'll be interesting to see different folks from all over trying to make sense of this city.
12-21-2003, 05:36 PM #7
I can totally relate to all that info. Funny and very true. People will be especially shocked if they exit too early when going down town and make it into one of the wards. Scary sight at 5 in the morning when you wake up passed out in a car that is in the third ward and a cop is pulling you out of your car and says we've been there for hours after my friend fell asleep at the wheel we drove into a school's fence and sat there from 2-5am. I plan on going to down town for the super bowl but I will be bar hopping. Down town is a lot of fun.
12-23-2003, 02:48 PM #8
12-23-2003, 02:49 PM #9Originally Posted by Demon Deacon
And the Longhorns for that matter even though they're in Austin. Hook em
12-23-2003, 03:32 PM #10
man, those are so right on!!
thanks for the laugh
12-25-2003, 07:16 PM #11
bahahaha, i'm from houston and after graduating, live there again for work. that list is f-ing hilarious. i must say its dead on about the speeding thing. people in houston drive suprisingly fast...kinda scary for an ole austin hippie like myself...=P
p.s. my mom drives 55mph on the highways, and it scares the **** outta me. looking behind us, its like a steady stream of cars barreling at us, then splitting around us at the last second, then getting back in infront of us...
12-25-2003, 08:56 PM #12
I love driving through on I-10! My own Texas version of Autobahn!
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)