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12-23-2003, 01:03 PM #1
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
- She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
- I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
- Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
- The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
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12-23-2003, 01:06 PM #2
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12-23-2003, 01:10 PM #3
lmao
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12-23-2003, 01:13 PM #4
Funny post bro
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12-23-2003, 01:24 PM #5
Good one, Jason.
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12-23-2003, 06:29 PM #6
sounds like the average doc...
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12-23-2003, 07:12 PM #7
.......those are good Jason.
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12-23-2003, 07:42 PM #8
I love it, i saw something like that in an old playboy
lolllllllll
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12-23-2003, 08:35 PM #9
Wtf? Who was the doctor? Kavorkian? . Dang...thats some funny **** Jason, great to have seen something. That jus made my day a hell of a lot better.
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12-23-2003, 10:28 PM #10Originally Posted by anadrol devourer
Doc M
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12-23-2003, 10:30 PM #11Originally Posted by Doc M
funny post...my fav is the last one
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12-23-2003, 11:27 PM #12
lol.......... .....wow and we trust these people with our lifes.......
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, THAT IS STRENGTH
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12-23-2003, 11:59 PM #13
that's good example of why i stay away...far away from doctors. i'm glad they're not all like that!!!
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12-24-2003, 10:01 AM #14
unfortunately thats what the docs around here sound like. every doctor will tell you something different. basically its like self prescribing medicine here. tell them what you want and they give it to you.
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12-25-2003, 09:44 AM #15Originally Posted by Doc M
Sorry Doc, that was just too good to pass up.
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12-25-2003, 10:45 AM #16Originally Posted by PTbyJason
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!! And that was a good catch kc
Doc MLast edited by Doc M; 12-25-2003 at 10:48 AM.
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12-25-2003, 01:46 PM #17
know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know,
know....................................
There, as my punishement I have written the missing word 100 times..Just be glad it wasn't a surgical procedure and I forgot to mark the correct limb!!!!
I still say it was a setup by the evil Cycleon..
Doc M
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12-26-2003, 09:03 AM #18
it's hard to get away with anything around here!!! lol
funny post jason!
I work with dr's everyday...absolutely brilliant people. Sometimes they are too smart for their own good though. Smart as hell just no common sense with some of them. I truly admire how much knowledge they possess...I personally couldn't do it!
peace,
ttgb
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