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  1. #1
    daman1's Avatar
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    What to do about controlling girlfriend

    I am at a loss as to what to do about my girlfriend. She gives me the guilt trip everytime I want to go see a friend. I treat her royally and it just seems like I can't do anything unless she is there. I have had a bad past with seeing one night stands and I thought that may have been what was bothering her. But she said it didnt. Anybody, help!

  2. #2
    scottninpo's Avatar
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    she's trying to control you because she feels threatened by the attention you give to your friends, she wants to be the only person in your life, get rid of her, she has issues and it will only get worse from her, trust me, i've been through this before

  3. #3
    RageControl's Avatar
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    sounds like she might be codependent on you does she go out with friends of her own when your not around?

  4. #4
    Kato is offline Member
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    introduce her to the curb!......1000's of hotties out there brotha who will treat ya tons better! and you gotta learn how to reverse that and "whip that pussy"

  5. #5
    daman1's Avatar
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    Ive been dating her for about a year and half. She doesn't really go out with other friends. If she does, she asks me to go with her. She treats me good and had always been there when I needed her and then some. I just don't want her to get offended about it.

  6. #6
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    Everyone else is going to tell you to dump her. I suggest talking to her. Ask her, calmly and politely, without getting defensive. Talk to her about your feelings.. you're going to have to do this sort of thing in any relationship if you want it to work, so there's no point in avoiding practice now. Even if she's not the right girl for you, you're still going to need to be able to communicate with whoever the right one ends up being.. because no relationship is perfect.

  7. #7
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    I agree. i was just with a girl like this she became dependant on me to giver her a goodtime. She would never decide where to go or what to do without asking me first . At first i was like cool shes dick whipped but after a while it became real annoying and eventually drove me away. Id say give it to her straight tell her let me do what i want or hit the road let her decide.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisAdams
    Everyone else is going to tell you to dump her. I suggest talking to her. Ask her, calmly and politely, without getting defensive. Talk to her about your feelings.. you're going to have to do this sort of thing in any relationship if you want it to work, so there's no point in avoiding practice now. Even if she's not the right girl for you, you're still going to need to be able to communicate with whoever the right one ends up being.. because no relationship is perfect.
    I agree 100%.
    Tell her how you feel and explain to her that your friends are very important to you.
    If she is receptive, great. If she isn't, you may have a difficult decision to make.


    D

  9. #9
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    How long have you been going out?. When this started to happen in my last relationship, it was the beginning of the end.

  10. #10
    Danielle's Avatar
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    wow...........sounds like my brothers girlfriend.........she has absoultly no girlfriends at all..........she never goes out expect for with him.......and she is such a jealous person.......she even gets mad if i'm talking to him on the phone and they are together or if shes on the other line......i'm his **** sister...........he didn't even spend any time with his family on Christmas because of her.............i respect her because she is my brothers girlfriend and all.......but the time is coming close when i tell her the fcuk off!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisAdams
    Everyone else is going to tell you to dump her. I suggest talking to her. Ask her, calmly and politely, without getting defensive. Talk to her about your feelings.. you're going to have to do this sort of thing in any relationship if you want it to work, so there's no point in avoiding practice now. Even if she's not the right girl for you, you're still going to need to be able to communicate with whoever the right one ends up being.. because no relationship is perfect.
    well said chris.....communication is such a big problem now with young couples,everyone seems to take the easy way out by just walking away,I suppose it's all part of the "ME" generation,I'm not sure,but values sure have changed for the worst.


    DB

  12. #12
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    There was more to it than that, but this was a factor.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle
    wow...........sounds like my brothers girlfriend.........she has absoultly no girlfriends at all..........she never goes out expect for with him.......and she is such a jealous person.......she even gets mad if i'm talking to him on the phone and they are together or if shes on the other line......i'm his **** sister...........he didn't even spend any time with his family on Christmas because of her.............i respect her because she is my brothers girlfriend and all.......but the time is coming close when i tell her the fcuk off!
    Vent girl..I love ya....DB

  14. #14
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    Yeah, definitely talk to her and try to work it out. You have been together for a long time and you owe her that at least. But personally I have never known a woman that has that type of personality that has been able to change.

  15. #15
    Jenna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danielle
    wow...........sounds like my brothers girlfriend.........she has absoultly no girlfriends at all..........she never goes out expect for with him.......and she is such a jealous person.......she even gets mad if i'm talking to him on the phone and they are together or if shes on the other line......i'm his **** sister...........he didn't even spend any time with his family on Christmas because of her.............i respect her because she is my brothers girlfriend and all.......but the time is coming close when i tell her the fcuk off!
    OMG Girl! That was JUST like my brother's first wife! She thought we were "too close" for brother and sister!! Women are fuuking unbelievable!! Just do what I did... well, nevermind, I won't discuss that in open forum. I'll tell ya though!! I'll catch ya on AOL!

    To the guy that started the thread - I PROMISE, you've got to lay it out to her now. Give her an opportunity to hear you out and respect your wishes. If you talk to her and she STILL won't give you your time to yourself (and friends) then you really need to reconsider the whole relationship. As long as you allow her to have control, she'll take advantage of that. If you give her an ultimatum, it'll get real ugly and she'll pull out all the stops, but if she really cares about the relationship, she'll give in.

    If and when she does give in, let her know how much you appreciate it, and for the first few times you go out with your buds, make SURE you're not late! Don't give her any reason to gripe, in the beginning.

  16. #16
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna
    OMG Girl! That was JUST like my brother's first wife! She thought we were "too close" for brother and sister!! Women are fuuking unbelievable!! Just do what I did... well, nevermind, I won't discuss that in open forum. I'll tell ya though!! I'll catch ya on AOL!

    To the guy that started the thread - I PROMISE, you've got to lay it out to her now. Give her an opportunity to hear you out and respect your wishes. If you talk to her and she STILL won't give you your time to yourself (and friends) then you really need to reconsider the whole relationship. As long as you allow her to have control, she'll take advantage of that. If you give her an ultimatum, it'll get real ugly and she'll pull out all the stops, but if she really cares about the relationship, she'll give in.

    If and when she does give in, let her know how much you appreciate it, and for the first few times you go out with your buds, make SURE you're not late! Don't give her any reason to gripe, in the beginning.
    I was trying to think of what to say when I read this post. Very well said Jenna.

  17. #17
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    She is insecure with you going out with your friends cause she thinks you will hook up with another girl when she is not around. She will NOT tell you this cause she doesnt wanna look jealous or insecure.
    There is no way around it. If you plan on staying with her you have to tell her you need to see your friends every so often or else the relationship wont work.
    If you dont take initiative on this issue, it will only get worse. Either by you getting smothered or by her knowing she can control you.
    A year and a half is a long time and I doubt you would wanna just kick her to the curb and Im sure you would like to see your friends.

    Tell her she can go with you if she wants but you are DEFINATELY going to see your friends sometimes.

  18. #18
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Ask Big Ol legs.........He knows what to do with a controlling Woman...Just ask him

  19. #19
    Da Bull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Ask Big Ol legs.........He knows what to do with a controlling Woman...Just ask him

    Oh man that was some cold sh!t bro

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisAdams
    Everyone else is going to tell you to dump her. I suggest talking to her. Ask her, calmly and politely, without getting defensive. Talk to her about your feelings.. you're going to have to do this sort of thing in any relationship if you want it to work, so there's no point in avoiding practice now. Even if she's not the right girl for you, you're still going to need to be able to communicate with whoever the right one ends up being.. because no relationship is perfect.

    Thats a great answer Chris.

    Why dump her if you enjoy being with her.
    I would tell her that you need your space from time to time to do the things you want to do alone or with some of your friends.

    Nip this problem asap and work it out with her or you might as well hand in your "Man Card" right now.

  21. #21
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Da Bull
    Oh man that was some cold sh!t bro
    Cant help it bro...im still upset about the fudge thing

  22. #22
    older-than-dirt is offline New Member
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    Take it from an old timer dude. You cannot marry this girl because divorce will be inevitable. My wife of 23 years was the same way when we were dating and she hasn't changed. I missed alot of fun times and became separated from friends because of it. You have to be able to have a life outside of her or you'll be miserable.

  23. #23
    Tock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daman1
    I am at a loss as to what to do about my girlfriend. She gives me the guilt trip everytime I want to go see a friend. I treat her royally and it just seems like I can't do anything unless she is there. I have had a bad past with seeing one night stands and I thought that may have been what was bothering her. But she said it didnt. Anybody, help!
    ====================


    Been there, done that, learned the hard way that without a solid year or two of therapy (and probalbly not even after that) this girl of yours is going to make your life miserable. It's a very bad sign when someone uses guilt to control another. Demonstrates that (a) they don't know how to have healthy relationships with other people, and (b) their emotional health is questionable.
    Unless you are mightily motivated to see this girl through to better mental health, I'd save the hassle and cut my losses now . . .

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Cant help it bro...im still upset about the fudge thing
    wo... hehe good thing you posted a link here for me to find you talking smack!

  25. #25
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigol'legs
    wo... hehe good thing you posted a link here for me to find you talking smack!
    Just to let you know that I was thinking about you in your absence bro

  26. #26
    hoss827's Avatar
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    WHAT HAPPEND?!!?!?!?!!?

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigol'legs
    wo... hehe good thing you posted a link here for me to find you talking smack!
    Bro u really should have sent him the fudge........it's all he talks about.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    WHAT HAPPEND?!!?!?!?!!?
    adult stuff....

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    WHAT HAPPEND?!!?!?!?!!?
    Such a NEWBIE

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigol'legs
    adult stuff....
    Under 18 not admitted.

  31. #31
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    Aww c'mon now!! . Did he cheat kiss some other girl, or say she had a nice a$$ or what? . I'll be 18 here soon, you guy's c'mon and tell!

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    Aww c'mon now!! . Did he cheat kiss some other girl, or say she had a nice a$$ or what? . I'll be 18 here soon, you guy's c'mon and tell!
    girl............you know he's into farm animals.

  33. #33
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    Sheep?!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    Sheep?!!!!!!!!!!!!
    See u are mature for your age.

  35. #35
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    **** right, you can do alot with sheep.....bang 'em (Big ' Ol) eat em...skin em.....

  36. #36
    LORDBLiTZ Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Kato
    introduce her to the curb!......1000's of hotties out there brotha who will treat ya tons better! and you gotta learn how to reverse that and "whip that pussy"

    WORD

  37. #37
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    Sheep?!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Bigggggg I loveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuu ....bahhhhhhhh

  38. #38
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    omg, i'm gonna make a poll abou t animals in the lounge!!! bahahhahaa

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Bigggggg I loveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuu ....bahhhhhhhh
    [SIZE=1]I love you 2 mass...

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoss827
    omg, i'm gonna make a poll abou t animals in the lounge!!! bahahhahaa
    ..........u have already started a thread this week.

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