Masturbation Question...

**Carlos_E** · 12-29-2003, 03:58 PM

Cooking oil? Never tried it. I would think it's safe... messy but safe. You'd be better off using a water based lubricate and not have to worry about oil stains.

I did a search and here is one:

http://www.drugstore.com/qxp71012_33..._lubricant.htm

**lloyd_cannon** · 12-29-2003, 04:19 PM

oh jeese what do people do in a bind say this girl is getting you off and youve alredy been got off and shes rubbing the crap out of it and it hurts like hell and your moaning cause it hurts but she thinks your moaning cause it feels good and your squeezin the crap out of her breast but she likes that. but your moaning because its on fire and it feels like in another minute the skin will come off. Does she want it like this is maxim full of ****? do they like it when you finger them hardcore or what my friends are boggled.you finnaly tell her "ouch carpet burn" so she stops and it itches to day and hurts to touch it should I just tell her next time to spit on her hand or something. I have some carmex with me all the time but i dont know about that might burn with the mentholated what would you do?

**Tock** · 12-29-2003, 04:19 PM

They say that masturbation is sex with someone you love . . .
In my tenderer days I found baby powder (of all things) to be handy, so to speak, for moments of intimacy. Later I became acquainted with the multitudinous advantages of bottled lotions and Vaseline. I fondly recall my first visit to a virtue-corrupting XXX Adult shop I discovered various computer-age silicone-based lubricants, which not unlike the year-end holidays, brought much joy and happiness into my life.
My "significant other" in my first relationship was an expert cook, and during random moments of spontaneous lust in the kitchen we improvised with any number of culinary lubricants. Butter, as you may well suppose, applied topically with wild abandon, provides sensual opportunities unavailable to those less culinarily adventuresome. Buttering a lineoleum floor gives a complementary platform upon which to invent fresh additions to the Kama Sutra. Cooking oil works well, also, on waterbeds, although it does take more effort to clean afterwards . . .
Mayonaise works well for about three minutes, but I could not recommend it for any self-stimulatory exercise of longer duration as it quickly begins to generate an odor alarmingly like a dumpster in summer.
Whipped cream has a mild lubricant property, but initial investigations revealed that it is remarkably filling when consumed, potentially leading to premature satiation of the palate, so those "orally inclined" would be well advised to consider other possibilities.
Peanut butter is similarly filling, but can be used for self-stimulation in a pinch. Investigations reveal the "smooth" varieties much superior to the "chunky."

Vegetable oils and animal fats are safe to apply to the skin, but for purposes of "auto-eroticism" I would avoid anything with a petroleum base, including motor oil, differential grease, lithium grease (unless you've been diagonosed with a manic-depressive condition), or any sort of wax or polish.

And never use anything but a water-based lubricant (KY)for any sort of penetration. Oil-based lubricants coat the interior surface and can trap unfriendly micro-organisms underneath where they can multiply unimpeded by your body's natural defenses.

**lloyd_cannon** · 12-29-2003, 04:21 PM

i dont want to look weird carrying real lube with me, and its not that shes ever done this before shes first time doing this with a first time guy. and she needs help cause **** my eyes were watering./\

**rambo** · 12-29-2003, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by lloyd_cannon

oh jeese what do people do in a bind say this girl is getting you off and youve alredy been got off and shes rubbing the crap out of it and it hurts like hell and your moaning cause it hurts but she thinks your moaning cause it feels good and your squeezin the crap out of her breast but she likes that. but your moaning because its on fire and it feels like in another minute the skin will come off. Does she want it like this is maxim full of ****? do they like it when you finger them hardcore or what my friends are boggled.you finnaly tell her "ouch carpet burn" so she stops and it itches to day and hurts to touch it should I just tell her next time to spit on her hand or something. I have some carmex with me all the time but i dont know about that might burn with the mentholated what would you do?

Hi, my name is Punctuation. Please use me.

**lloyd_cannon** · 12-29-2003, 04:27 PM

I quit using people a long time ago. What the hell am I to do?

**rambo** · 12-29-2003, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by lloyd_cannon

I quit using people a long time ago. What the hell am I to do?

LOL

As for your question, stop getting hand jobs from 14 year olds, and you should be fine.

**lloyd_cannon** · 12-29-2003, 04:31 PM

Thats just on Wednesday's this was last night and she's 17 hardcore virgin type. I guess her other boyfriends lacked the huevos to want it from her **** sexy bitch though 5"10" 130lbs 34C

**rococo** · 12-30-2003, 02:11 AM

Originally Posted by hoss827

Man, this thread is drawin alotta attention. We need to have a pole on the top 10 fluids or somethin,

Or better yet, why not the top 10 fluids on the po-.... uh, never mind...

**Red Ketchup** · 12-30-2003, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by Tock

I fondly recall my first visit to a virtue-corrupting XXX Adult shop I discovered various computer-age silicone-based lubricants, which not unlike the year-end holidays, brought much joy and happiness into my life.

Ah the pleasures of avoiding the dreaded viscosity breakdown!

Red

**lloyd_cannon** · 12-30-2003, 11:17 AM

wow terinox you've caused some experimentation baby oil is some **** good ****... Just enough lube to have lots of friction but still be able to slide. Someone is being more gentle after a nice talk.. the only way I want to be ravaged is if Im actually doing laundry.

**Carlos_E** · 12-30-2003, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by lloyd_cannon

wow terinox you've caused some experimentation baby oil is some **** good ****... Just enough lube to have lots of friction but still be able to slide. Someone is being more gentle after a nice talk.. the only way I want to be ravaged is if Im actually doing laundry.

huh?