End the Year with Your "Animal House" Story

[BigGreen]

...Let's hear 'em - classic college story recountings (whether they took place in or at an actual college, who cares?). Sex in the library, turning your hallway into a slip-n-slide, classic roadtrip, whatever. By the end of this thread, I want to truly know in my heart that EVERY regular AR contributor, at least once, tossed aside all manners and civilization for the sake of having a story to tell their grandkids. NOTE: this is not intended to be a regurgitation of my "drunk story" threads, as this thread has very little to do with the volume of drink and the after effects, but rather the great stuff that happens in between the drinks and after effects...hell, even if you were sober but it was a great story post it up!!!

[mass junkie]

Sorry bro....I never was fortunate enough to attend college...

[BigGreen]

Let's see....one of my better ones involves my freshman year at the college I attended before transferring to my ultimate place of graduation. It was a pretty tiny school tucked up in northern New England with a hell of a lot of snow being the norm from sept 20th to May 1st. Freshmen were allowed to have vehicles, but freshmen parking was literally close to a **** mile away from any dorms. On nights when we'd wait too long to jump on the liquor store train, we'd need to find some way to get transportation.

Luckily, a small sub place up the street delivered on thursday, friday and saturday. We would order up a few subs, then entice the 17 year old delivery guy (HS senior) to drive us to the packy). This went well for several weeks. After getting to know the guy, we eventually started talking him into having a beer with us before getting back on the road to finish his shift. One night, we get him doing shots...and i mean MANY shots. He guts DRUNK off his ass like any high schooler drinking with college punks would do.

So, after he passes out (kinda...he was still mumbling to us about some hot chick he was trying to hook up with) we RAID his delivery (this was around midnite). Well, apparently, his getting loaded caused him to miss 10 deliveries (and his boss got all ten calls wondering "what the hell?") and when he didn't come home at the appropriate time, his mom started getting concerned as well.

To cut to the conclusion, campus safety opens our door while four of us are literally swimming in subs, slathered in meatballs, bread, cheese, cold cuts....just disgusting. And the delivery boy, in full on uniform, is dead to the world on our futon. Needless to say, the sub shop stopped delivering to campus and we got in some serious ****. At the end of the year, however, the officer told us that walking into the room and seeing about 24 subs half eaten, all over the floor and us attacking them like ravenous dogs was the best thing he ever saw in his years at the position.

[BigGreen]

Sorry bro....I never was fortunate enough to attend college...

make something up....or, surely, you had animal house-like moments during your younger days?

[scottninpo]

honestly, i can't recall very vividly any of the wild stuff i've done, bits and pieces mainly, like stealing a bread truck cause my friends were hungry after drinking, jumping out of a moving car at 35 mph cause i thought we were going the wrong way, getting tea bagged on my 22nd birthday and the ensuing brawl in the diner where i "accidentally" stabbed my best friend in the arm with a butter knife, after a 22 hr drinking binge in New Orleans, jumping the fence and joining a race during the special olympics and losing, ah, good times, good times

[BIG TEXAN]

Well.... would you like to hear the one about my frat stealing most of the front doors off of other frat houses, our beer olympics ending with us seranading(spelling) to the hottest sorority house, my initiation night and how I got the scar on my head from it, or how we broke into the Dean's office and repainted it. Many.... many stories to tell.... it's no wonder I didn't graduate.

[BigGreen]

honestly, i can't recall very vividly any of the wild stuff i've done, bits and pieces mainly, like stealing a bread truck cause my friends were hungry after drinking, jumping out of a moving car at 35 mph cause i thought we were going the wrong way, getting tea bagged on my 22nd birthday and the ensuing brawl in the diner where i "accidentally" stabbed my best friend in the arm with a butter knife, after a 22 hr drinking binge in New Orleans, jumping the fence and joining a race during the special olympics and losing, ah, good times, good times

Those are awesome....i think it's best if you only recall bits and pieces. I had a friend who was drunk off his ass at shaws try to get into the lobster tank...made it a good way in, too. It ended on a sad note, however, as the manager called the cops and I guess they pressed as many charges as they possibly could on this kid. Great to see though.

[BigGreen]

Well.... would you like to hear the one about my frat stealing most of the front doors off of other frat houses, our beer olympics ending with us seranading(spelling) to the hottest sorority house, my initiation night and how I got the scar on my head from it, or how we broke into the Dean's office and repainted it. Many.... many stories to tell.... it's no wonder I didn't graduate.

Repainting! Repainting!

[BIG TEXAN]

Repainting! Repainting!

Oh yes.... for some reason he didn't like the new look. I mean what's wrong with lavender?????

[kc]

Big T..why does none of that surprise me?

my animal house story...i could tell you about the time my roommate and his buddies decided to have a pornfest in my apartment and neglected to tell me....or about the superbowl/finals studynight/pizza-a-thon we had when i was a sophomore...ok thats enough

[BIG TEXAN]

Big T..why does none of that surprise me?

my animal house story...i could tell you about the time my roommate and his buddies decided to have a pornfest in my apartment and neglected to tell me....or about the superbowl/finals studynight/pizza-a-thon we had when i was a sophomore...ok thats enough

What....... my halo not showing?

[Juggernaut]

Alright I’ll play along;

Whilst in college (yes I actually went to college………You’d never know it but I have two degrees…..350 and 375) the week before football season starts we had a “Prank” week. During this time pranks are pulled on anyone and everyone. And I chose to do most of my pranks on my roommate, although my shaving cream on the windshield and vasolene (sp) of the windshield wiper on the Dean’s car got me an honorable mention in the school paper it was my roomy who paid dearly.

First prank was simple, I woke up early that morning and left the room…………..with the door knob.

Next day I removed about half of his toothpaste and replaced it with salt. Took his shampoo and replaced it with honey and to top it all off I waited till he went to the shower and stole his towel.

For the cope de grass I planned out the best prank ever. He had a late class which meant his first class was not till 10 AM. So what I did was (while he was in slumber) I reset the clock back six hours so 10 AM was actually 4 AM. I painted the window of our room a light orange and hung a light bulb from the floor above outside our window to give it that “the suns up” look and I took his towel, which was folded and stitched it all the way around so it remained in a perpetual small state.

So of course I have early classes so I had to get up and out before he did so that my ruse would be a success but all went as planned. I dressed and hung out next door in another buddies room (in fact all the guys on the whole floor were in the room giggling like school girls……….hey everyone loves a good joke!) so I could add my final touches. The alarm goes off and he climbs out of bed (did I mention he worked nights which meant he had about two hours of sleep) turns off the clock grabs his stuff and heads down the hall (there were no windows for him to look out other than ours so he was none the wiser). While in the shower I put Atomic Balm in his underwear (if you don’t know what that is ask any high school football player and they’d tell you it’s like Ben gay but 10 times stronger), grease in his flip-flops and then greased our door knob (outside this time). He gets out of the shower and is forced to use half of a towel, he’s wearing underwear that is burning his sack for some reason, he’s had to clean his feet again and he’s having a bitch of a time getting into our room. By the time he gets in and changes his clothes and heads out the door we are rolling on the floor listening to him curse me up and down. Which was nothing until he opens the door to head to class and notices it’s still dark!

Now don’t go feeling sorry for him because he managed to get the whole dorm to hit me with so many water and shaving cream balloons from the roof it wasn’t even funny! And had taken all my clothes so I had nothing to change into!

[kc]

What....... my halo not showing?

sure it is...cept it looks more like

[Juggernaut]

As far as telling about all the things i did while in a drunken state....................as part of my parole I'm not allowed to talk about those. Stupid lawyers............I mean really what's wrong with filling the president's office with helium?!?!?! he got a huge laugh out of it!

[BIG TEXAN]

sure it is...cept it looks more like

What can I say.... I'm evil but just ina good sorta way.

[Cycleon]

I am still remembering the time in my fresh year that I had been to a sorority party and downed I am not too sure how many PGA punches, then went to my fav bar with a girl buddy - after a few long island teas and some other stuff I remember through the buzz that was catching me - "I could swear Amy (my buddy) is looking at me with kiss me eyes"??!!??

Next thing I remember I am in my dorm room.......in bed.......its morning....... and I have puked all over the bed - now while I am cleaning up and literally taking a bottle of clorox bleach and splashing it everywhere, walls, etc a guy buddy calls me - we talk about what we were going to do that day and he asks "hey, who was that girl you were making out with under the table last night?" uhhhhhhh...... good question I told him - then called up my gal friend.

"Amy, what happened last night?" I asked - only to hear one of the worst things a girl can say - "you mean you dont remember????"

fortunately turned out my roomie was there for a bit and then I got too sick so no nocturnal activities occured - or at least that is what she said - never drank that much again


or there was the time that I ummmm....... had a rather interesting time with a girl who had an unusual name - made the mistake of telling my buds who walked in with their frat pledge master - who just happened to have a gf with that very unusual name and looked just like the girl I was telling them about....oops

[BigGreen]

Alright I’ll play along;

Whilst in college (yes I actually went to college

Tell us Juggy, what were those days like? You know, before the whole "copernican revolution" turned everything upside down and they actually started teaching that the earth revolved around the sun instead of vice versa.