I really need some advice and help.
I have been with my girlie for about two years. She has a re-occuring heroin problem and she does not know how to tell the truth. She was clean for a year and a half when I met her and she was straight for at least the first eight months of our relationship. Our first eight months were perfect then she went back to her drugs. I love her more than anything in this world but she has put me through hell and back and I can't seem to get away from her. Sometimes I try my ass off and see someone else and don't talk to her and don't answer or return her calls and somehow I always seem to end up back with her. When she is not on her drugs and being good she is the best person in the world, she makes me so happy. All the good still doesn't outweigh the bad though. I gave her another try two weeks ago, keeping my distance and making her do all the work to try to make me happy, she has been doing great until last night when she decided to start her lies again. She told me she was going to a friends house but well, she wasn't there. In my head I assume (based on previous situations) that she was out with her other "friends" as she calls them doing something wrong.
Right now she has a criminal record, hepatitus C, no job (laid off, no work - not drug related), everything she says is BS, and she never has any money. She is clean, but on a methadone program and I do believe that when she is off the program she will go back to the drugs. She always has the same stories for when she is nowhere to be found - I fell asleep, my phone went dead, I left the phone in the car, I had to do something for school, all the same BS. As I understand it doesn't matter how long she could be clean for, sooner or later she will go back to it.
Its like we dont see or talk to each other for weeks at a time but when she see's me out talking to any female she starts with the female or makes it a point to dance or start talking to any random guy because she knows it bothers me and then before you know it she will bring me a drink and we start talking again and the next thing I know we're back together. I go to different places, not our regular clubs or bars but she always seems to find me.
I want to get on with my life and get married and have a HEALTHY family. I went and got tested for everything twice when she told me about her hepatitus. I am clean, thank god.
My question is how do I seperate my life and feelings from hers? How do I stay away from her and not fall back into this nightmare again? How do I deal with seeing her out or even wosre seeing her out with someone else? I hate this.
Thanks for taking the time to listen to me vent and thanks for any advice.
