01-05-2004, 05:44 PM #1Associate Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2001
I really need some advice and help.
I have been with my girlie for about two years. She has a re-occuring heroin problem and she does not know how to tell the truth. She was clean for a year and a half when I met her and she was straight for at least the first eight months of our relationship. Our first eight months were perfect then she went back to her drugs. I love her more than anything in this world but she has put me through hell and back and I can't seem to get away from her. Sometimes I try my ass off and see someone else and don't talk to her and don't answer or return her calls and somehow I always seem to end up back with her. When she is not on her drugs and being good she is the best person in the world, she makes me so happy. All the good still doesn't outweigh the bad though. I gave her another try two weeks ago, keeping my distance and making her do all the work to try to make me happy, she has been doing great until last night when she decided to start her lies again. She told me she was going to a friends house but well, she wasn't there. In my head I assume (based on previous situations) that she was out with her other "friends" as she calls them doing something wrong.
Right now she has a criminal record, hepatitus C, no job (laid off, no work - not drug related), everything she says is BS, and she never has any money. She is clean, but on a methadone program and I do believe that when she is off the program she will go back to the drugs. She always has the same stories for when she is nowhere to be found - I fell asleep, my phone went dead, I left the phone in the car, I had to do something for school, all the same BS. As I understand it doesn't matter how long she could be clean for, sooner or later she will go back to it.
Its like we dont see or talk to each other for weeks at a time but when she see's me out talking to any female she starts with the female or makes it a point to dance or start talking to any random guy because she knows it bothers me and then before you know it she will bring me a drink and we start talking again and the next thing I know we're back together. I go to different places, not our regular clubs or bars but she always seems to find me.
I want to get on with my life and get married and have a HEALTHY family. I went and got tested for everything twice when she told me about her hepatitus. I am clean, thank god.
My question is how do I seperate my life and feelings from hers? How do I stay away from her and not fall back into this nightmare again? How do I deal with seeing her out or even wosre seeing her out with someone else? I hate this.
Thanks for taking the time to listen to me vent and thanks for any advice.
01-05-2004, 05:53 PM #2
three words for you bro........ Quit Cold Turkey
01-05-2004, 06:01 PM #3
you dont need that ****e. leave her man. for good.
01-05-2004, 06:02 PM #4
bro ..run as far away from her as you can and don't look back........in time you'll forget about her, move on ASAP.I don't want to get into a long post here because you know what's best for you and also you'll get people on here saying to put her in a treatment center.Do what you feels best for you........but remember this..do you know how to tell when a junkies lying??There lips are moving bro!!!!!!!!!!!
01-05-2004, 06:07 PM #5
Bro.. She sounds like bad news.. Stay away.. Don't contact her or anything. Good luck
01-05-2004, 06:09 PM #6
yeah man dont waste your time, there soo many good girls out there.. if not you can always have DB if he can still work it
01-05-2004, 06:23 PM #7Originally Posted by ElliotNess
01-05-2004, 06:25 PM #8
Move.. your' tired of your place anyway..
sorry about that man.. life can be ****.. you can't help everyone.. and sometimes you can't help anyone.The answer to your every question
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01-05-2004, 06:32 PM #9
Bro....This is gonna be hard...but you gotta leave her behind...shes doing nothin but draggin you down man....I mean you love this girl with all your heart, but heroin is the most addictive drug...sometimes you gotta just realize some shyt will never get better....Good luck bro, and keep us updated.
01-05-2004, 06:49 PM #10Respected Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Miller's Crossing
It sounds as if your as addicted to her companionship as she is to heroin, which is a dissaster in wait. Your priority is her, and hers is drugs. You have to break free or it's just going to keep driving you in the ground. I had a similar experience with a woman who was a severe alcoholic. A wonderfull woman when she was away from the drink, but she wouldn't stop, and it was doing nothing but bringing pain.
Their is no program you can check into to seperate yourself from her, you just have to do it bro. No matter how bad it hurts, no matter how many times she comes running, claiming sobriety. Her seemingly lucid state and promises of change will turn rotten as they've been doing all this time.
No other answer except absolute disassociation, and diverted though. It will be a real bitch of a time for while. But after a time, the pain dissappears.
Call her, express this feeling, grab whatever closure you can clutch, and complete the seperation. Be a smart idea to get a new phone number as well.
I'm sorry to hear it bro, but this woman is not your love. She is your idea of love, and that is dangerous
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