relationship advice (VERY LONG)

[want2bulk]

This might get a little lengthy or confusing. I hope I don't make too many typos cuz I wanna hurry up and get off the computer. I've been staring at this screen for wayyyyyyy too long.

I met this girl about two years ago and there was mutual attraction from the start. When we met, she had only been out of a year-long relationship for a month or two. I myself had been single for over a year. I was in my whore stage and was out to nail whatever I could. I met a lot of hot chicks in this time and got my jollies off quite a bit ... I thought I wanted to be single forever. I thought this girl was just gonna be "another #" but it turned out to be so much more. We got along really well and had a lot of things in common. We had some good times together and had the same sense of humor. This chick was awesome...I'd never fallen for anyone this quick before. It was, however, hard to committ to being her boyfriend. I knew she had just gotten out of a long relationship so I didn't want to be a rebound. After seeing each other for almost 2 months, it became official ... we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This only lasted two weeks and you guessed it, she got back with the EX. She never explained to me what was going on. She just said she didn't know what she wanted anymore. I ended up running into her friends and finding out about it. I ended up finding out that kissed him right before we broke up, so technically, she cheated on me too. It was still hard to get over this girl because I think I started to fall in love already. We had almost no contact for about 4 months and then she started screwing me while she was dating this guy. She eventually broke up with him and wanted to start dating again. It was really hard on me making this decision because she had already left me once and it hurt pretty **** bad. I thought about her every day and missed her like hell while we were broken up. When we started to hang out again, I felt I'd give it a shot. I obviously didn't trust her 100% at this time because of the past. We just had so much fun together I felt like I had to be with her. We started dating again and it lasted from about November until this past July, or 8 months. During the 8 months, we had some good times together. We were the kind of couple that could just cuddle up and watch a movie. We didn't always have to be out or be partying to have fun. At this time, we did drink together with friends and always had a good time. A few months into the relationship, we started to fight more. She felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown and I think the played a role. She hated her roommate, was having problems with friends and family, had a few friends pass away, and she never went out. I spent almost all of my time with her because I wanted someone to be there for her ... I wanted to be the shoulder she could cry on. I neglected my friends for this girl because she didn't have anything to do, but I didn't want her to hurt. She would get upset if I went out or if I was out too late. I would get upset with her for the same reasons as well. I don't know what her reasoning was, but I only got upset because she cheated on me b4 and I didn't have 100% trust ... it takes time to rebuild. The trust got to 100% eventually and I was hoping things would get better. I gave her a ring and she dumped me a week later. She just needed a break and needed to have fun, I guess. She felt like I was choosing roids over her which would NEVER happen. The breakup messed up my head pretty bad. I was a mess. She had sex with a 17 year old guy just a couple days after we broke up and then had sex with another guy a couple weeks after that. I hated not being able to talk to her so I would always call and she would act immature. She would put on a show in front of her friends. She said she didn't need me anymore and didn't want to talk again. Eventually, I got strong and gave her back everything she'd ever given me. At this time, she found out I was screwing another girl. She got really upset and came crawling back. She couldn't stand to see me with someone else and I guess it took me moving on to show her what she was missing. I'm not putting all the blame on her for the 2nd breakup, I'll take some as well...I wasn't always perfect. Anyways, she came crawling back even though she was with someone else. She dumped this guy and me and her got back together and had sex right away. I didn't think it'd feel right but I was so in love, nothing could have felt better. Her EX was always calling me and harassing me about ****, but I left it alone for the benefit of our relationship. My girl didn't want to move back home but had to get out of her apartment, so I offered to move in with her. My buddy wanted to move out as well so we all got a place together. WHAT A MISTAKE. Three is company and it caused tension. There would be arguments over TV, dishes in the sink, us having sex, or whatever. That **** got annoying. It would have been much better if just her and I moved in together. I started to get really stressed right after I signed the lease because a few days later, I heard my job was closing down after this summer. I have an old muscle car and it was right after this that I screwed up the motor ... after putting over $2,000 into it to get her running again. I never really liked living at my apartment. It was boring there. I felt lonely. Whenever I came to my parent's house, I stayed here for hours because I didn't want to go home. My workouts got shorter. I rarely slept without waking up a couple times throughout the night. I started to feel unwanted and worthless. I lost my sex drive. I lost my self esteem. I stopped going out with friends. I stopped being social. This is why I started juicin again ... in the past, they raised my self esteem and gave me lots of boners. The roids didn't help and I never liked what I saw in the mirror. I didn't talk about it much because I didn't want to spill my emotions, unless it was around my girl. I kinda mentioned my self esteem before, but she thought I was joking around because I used to be confident or "cocky" as she used to call it. On the inside, I did feel like ****. If she ever turned me down for sex or a BJ, I'd get pretty upset. It basically made me feel like there was someone else or that she wasn't attracted to me. I think it was all cuz of depression. We had our arguments because I'd wake her up early, and I guess that's cuz I just couldn't sleep. We'd argue over sex and that's about it. Sometimes, I would try to be calm and just talk to her ... she would yell and not give a crap. She had slapped me before and I pushed her. I usually only pushed her after she hit me, just to get her off of me. There was times where she would hit me, and I did nothing but take it. It wasn't complete abuse on her part. She would just slap me in the face a couple times or slap my back a few times. There was one time where she threw a complete temper tantrum and I just grabbed her and layed her on the bed. I held her down just because I wanted her to settle down. I loved this girl and I felt like **** inside, and the fights made it worse. Then came the dreadful day. We were arguing before she went to work and she was about to leave. I wanted to make up before she left so I was blocking the doorway. She didn't want to talk so she gave me a little shove. I pushed her back and she ended up falling down. She freaked out instantly and my heart sank when she fell. She was crying hysterically and I apologized immediately. I took her into the bedroom and tried to calm her down for 20 minutes ... nothing. She wouldn't stop crying so I let her leave. I tried to text message her saying that I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to get help cuz I wasn't feeling the same about myself. I wanted to tell her that I'd get us relationship counseling and I would pay for it. I just wanted to see if we could get some insight from a 3rd party but she never responded. She moved out the next day. She called me the day after moving out because she found out I was with another girl. I made it sound like we did some sexual things, but only because I thought she was with a guy. This other girl and I just talked and hugged ... it was nothing. My EX was crying when she found out and I told her I thought I had depression and couldn't help how I acted sometimes. She told me to get help and that she couldn't talk to me cuz her parents wouldn't allow it (she moved back home with mom). She said her mom was abused and she witnessed it as a kid. If I had known that, I would've made every effort to keep my hands off her no matter what but she should have done the same for me. I tried to call her and wish her a Happy New Year but she changed her #. I got a card for her and a letter and I made up a CD. I put it all on her car one day and then it was back in my mailbox two days later. The card was in an envelope that said "open first". It was my apology and I said "If you're at all interested, open the other envelope. If not, throw it away." She opened the other envelope with the letter explaining everything. She still gave it all back except she kept the CD and put in a picture of us together. What the hell gives here? Is she done? She knows I wanted to see a doctor. I just went to the doctor today and I got on an anti-depressant. He said it's been going on long enough so I'm going to try these and also see a psychiatrist. I think I'm doing a good thing by recognizing the problem and doing something about. I felt horrible when I pushed her but she never showed any remorse for hitting me. I don't know if she felt bad inside or not, but I sure did. I know her parents are probably telling her to stay away and I used to hear that as well. My friends and family told me to stay away cuz she already broke my heart. I went with my heart and my feelings, and got back with her. I didn't regret it then and I still don't because I love her to death. She knows that I'm an awesome guy inside. I just had things ****ing with my head. I had so much stress/depression. I had no confidence. I haven't done roids since she moved out. I stopped my cycle and am going to get rid of my supply. I guess my question is, what the hell do I do? I did a lot of things for her ... just little things that go unnoticed. She did a lot of things for me as well and they meant a lot. I loved being around her. We had fun together. We had similar personalities and interests. We had an awesome sex life, in my opinion. If I wouldn't have had depression, we would have had it all. Do I just give up or keep fighting for her? I know I messed up by pushing her, but she has to know that I didn't mean for her to fall ... I wouldn't have reacted the way I did if I meant for that to happen. She also messed up by hitting me. We have to realize to keep our hands to ourselves no matter how angry we get and at least I am getting help. I'm a good guy inside. Girls tell me this all the time. I've even told girls about some of the things I did for her and what I had planned for Valentines Day. All they say is, "****, will you be my boyfriend?" Obviously not yet, cuz I'm not over my EX! I'm a smart, hard working, caring, loving guy. I'm awesome with kids and love em. She knows this on the inside but I think other people around her might be influencing her unless I did scare her that bad. She knows I'd be a perfect guy to settle down with. I'm all about committment. So would you guys suggest I try to get in touch with her and prove that I'm getting help? Or should I move on because she knows I want to get help but doesn't seem to care? I was there for her when she needed me, no matter how tough it was for me. I know I may have scared her, but she seems to turn her back on me rather easily. I'm sorry this is soooo long but I need advice. I'm going through some **** right now. Please help. Thanks guy and gals!!!!

[spywizard]

How old are you...

that would influence a response....

[want2bulk]

How old are you...

that would influence a response....

I'm 21, will be 22 in March. She's going to turn 21 in February. I know we're young but it seemed like we were both ready to settle down. We're both pretty independent and had done a little talking about kids and marriage. Nothing immediate, but in a few years. It was usually her bringing up the marriage but I loved her so much, I would've loved to make a committment like that to her.

[monster.]

Well...that was defintley long!!!!!! Bro the best advice i can give is this... Both of you guys were down for eachother a few times in your relationship... You explained you got alot of feelings for her, and that you love her... If she truly knows your intentions on the inside she'll understand the whole pushing thing, (that was obviously out of anger) i'm not saying its right, but we all make mistakes... If she really loves you, there should be no question you guys will get back together... I'm going to assume she needs some personal space, as well as you, cause it looks like you guys went thru the ringer a few times... Try not to get down on yourself for what happened... Sh!t happens and you gotta learn from it...

Although i hate to be negative, but once a cheater always a cheater... Maybe things will change as far as her feelings, you guys did move in together, and that takes alot pride swallowing to move in with ur g/f - b/f... Make sure she is on the same page with you when you do talk to her again... Just be honest with her, and hope for her honesty in return... If she sees a future with you she won't think twice bro... If someone really loves someone else there is no second guessing anything... Worst case scenario you cut her off and find a girl that is true to you... You can't change a person; Potential for being a good girl/guy is blind love...

I hope it works out

[spywizard]

Ditto............Monster.............

I lived what you are going through.............if you get together...

officially.............. it takes 5 years of hard work to get to trust someone again..

Love shouldn't have to be so hard....

ANd i was 35 when i went through it.. so i would say.. keep the juice..

drink lots of water.. get a hobby.. buy a bottle of lube..... and learn to be alone.. and like your self...........

then you can let some one else in..

Peace

[want2bulk]

Hey Monster, thanks for the quick response bro. You're right, it was long but I needed to get it all of my chest. I understand that me pushing her may have frightened her, but you're right, she needs to realize it was just out of anger. I'm not usually like that at all and trust me, I didn't want her to fall. That haunts me every single day, all day. When she slapped me, it bothered me, but I had faith in the relationship and I knew it would work out in the end ... we just didn't have enough time. I'll try not to get down on myself, bro. All the girls I talk to whether they're friends, family, or coworkers can't believe I did that and KNOW that something isn't right with me because of it. I realized my mistake and was a big enough man to get help.

I've heard the once a cheater, always a cheater line. I can't say if that's true or not. I hope she never cheated on me again but I know she wasn't afraid to cheat in the past. I myself, have never cheated on a girlfriend. I never cheated on this girl and never would. The temptation can be there at times, but you've got to avoid it. One night isn't worth something that could last a life time. You're also right, if she loves me, there's no second guessing. I never second guessed my decisions to give her another chance. I know we've had our problems but I want to be done with those...that's why I'm getting help. I just want a girl. This is a ****ty time of year to be single. I'm in Nebraska so it's cold and boring. I'm kind of a sensitive guy so there's nothing like cuddling up with a girl and watching TV or a movie and just cuddling. I guess I'm not all about that ... I just was with her. That's cuz she had all my heart and all my love. She still does.

[monster.]

I hear that bro, Your intentions are excellent... If this girl doesn't see that CUT HER OFF!!! It's her loss, and she doesn't deserve someone like you... Leave her, and never look back, cause you will find someone else that deserves to be treated right...

As for now, download some porn and make love to yourself a few times...haha

later bro

[want2bulk]

Ditto............Monster.............

I lived what you are going through.............if you get together...

officially.............. it takes 5 years of hard work to get to trust someone again..

Love shouldn't have to be so hard....

ANd i was 35 when i went through it.. so i would say.. keep the juice..

drink lots of water.. get a hobby.. buy a bottle of lube..... and learn to be alone.. and like your self...........

then you can let some one else in..

Peace

As for keeping the juice, maybe I will. The only for sure way that I will get rid of it, is if she comes back. I told her I would never do them again or at least not for a long time, and then I started 6 weeks after we got back together. We did talk about it quite a bit and she agreed to it. It's not like I just picked some up without telling her. She has the disgusting hobby of smoking and she doesn't work out anymore. I hate smoker's breath so I put up with her disgusting habit. She doesn't share my interest of the gym but she still has a banging body. This chick is hot as hell to me ... inside and out. She's awesome. If she comes back, the juice is gone and gone forever. If not, I don't know what I'll do. Either way, I'm staying off for a while until I get my head cleared and get back to being normal.

[want2bulk]

I hear that bro, Your intentions are excellent... If this girl doesn't see that CUT HER OFF!!! It's her loss, and she doesn't deserve someone like you... Leave her, and never look back, cause you will find someone else that deserves to be treated right...

As for now, download some porn and make love to yourself a few times...haha

later bro

Thanks man. I think talking to the doc just once has already helped a lot. I know I'm not a bad person and I know everything was an accident. This girl is awesome and I'd take her back in an instant as of right now. But let's say she doesn't talk to me for a few months and we run into each other. She likes what she sees and can tell that I feel good about myself again and enjoy having a good time. Maybe she wants me back now. Do I take her back? It'd be awfully hard knowing that EVERY time she needed me, I was there. Even though I messed up, she should have at least talked to me and heard me out in person. It'd just be real hard to take her back knowing that I'm having the hardest time of my life and she's not there to support me.

As far as finding someone that deserves to be treated right, there's this girl that I hang out with a few times each week now. She's awesome as a person. She feels for me and wishes me the best, but inside, she really likes me and wants to be with me. Everyone tells me she's sexy and that I should hook it up. I just can't right now because it's too soon, but it is cool to have her as a friend. Just think ... if my EX doesn't make any effort to talk to me during this and this other girl helps me through it all. Who do you think I'm gonna give the first chance? Who would you give the first chance?

By the way, I gotta spank it. The girl is gone and it just wouldn't feel right with somebody else so my best friend is my left hand.

[monster.]

The last thing you should do is wait around for her... She may be perfect in your eyes but don't forget to make yourself happy... If you get with this chick right away it would be a rebound and then you'd probally tell her off next time your Ex calls... Time and patience is whats going to help... My last advice is don't call her whatever you do, wait for her to call you...

[spywizard]

One of the things i was thinking when i said don't get rid of the juice.. but to save it till you are ready....

Don't change for a woman..a job, or anyone....

if you can't be true to who you are... you will be miserable..

i stayed married to a woman 16 years... changed me into someone that was not who i was...

Just don't do it man...

Throw yourself into the gym.. do the juice... party hard... and remember..

Men should never marry untill they are 30 years

[want2bulk]

The last thing you should do is wait around for her... She may be perfect in your eyes but don't forget to make yourself happy... If you get with this chick right away it would be a rebound and then you'd probally tell her off next time your Ex calls... Time and patience is whats going to help... My last advice is don't call her whatever you do, wait for her to call you...

I'm definitely going to work on making myself happy. And you're right, I can't get with this other chick cuz it would be a rebound. I don't want to hurt anyone because I know hot it feels. As for patience, that's what sucks, I don't have any. I can't call her cuz she changed her # and I don't see her calling me anytime soon. The ONLY thing I would really really like to do is somehow let her know and prove to her that I am taking some anti-depressants and getting help. I wouldn't contact her in person, at least not myself, but is this a bad idea? I just want her to KNOW that I'm getting help and then I think it'll be easier to walk away cuz if she doesn't try to get in touch shortly after that, obviously she doesn't care. Sorry for all the questions bro but you're giving hellafied advice.

[want2bulk]

One of the things i was thinking when i said don't get rid of the juice.. but to save it till you are ready....

Don't change for a woman..a job, or anyone....

if you can't be true to who you are... you will be miserable..

i stayed married to a woman 16 years... changed me into someone that was not who i was...

Just don't do it man...

Throw yourself into the gym.. do the juice... party hard... and remember..

Men should never marry untill they are 30 years

I'm still gonna hit the gym and get back on track with my lifting. I have faith that I'll feel better soon, so everything will be normal again. I don't want to change myself for her, I just wanted to throw out roids if they bother her. Some people aren't comfortable with them, and because I love her that much, I would do that for her. If she doesn't come around, you can bet I'll be sweating my ass off in the gym and working hard. I'll take whatever I wanna take and get looking real fine for the ladies. You're right about guys not getting married til they're 30 ... most guys aren't ready at my age. I'm not like most guys and was very committed to this girl. I wouldn't touch another girl no matter how fine she was. I was committed. If she gets with another guy around our age, she'll probably see the problems with other young guys. They are all about partying and screwing hoes. I don't think she wants that. She wants to be settled down and have fun, but only once in a while. She likes the love a guy can give to her. I just hope it all works out for me! I'll be back on tomorrow guys. It's after midnight here and that chick wants to come to my apartment and chill. I suppose I'll go watch some TV or a movie ... you know I'll be thinking about the EX the whole time though. I always do.

[monster.]

The ONLY thing I would really really like to do is somehow let her know and prove to her that I am taking some anti-depressants and getting help. I wouldn't contact her in person, at least not myself, but is this a bad idea? I just want her to KNOW that I'm getting help and then I think it'll be easier to walk away cuz if she doesn't try to get in touch shortly after that, obviously she doesn't care. Sorry for all the questions bro but you're giving hellafied advice.

You are always going to want to follow your emotions, Wait it out...let her call you... Sooner or later she will hear that you are doing better then she is, and this is going to make her think about what she lost... You're not playing games with her, your just giving yourself a chance to recover... If you call her back, chances are you guys will bring up old sh!t and you'll have to start from scratch anyways, and your feelings will be crushed again... It's too early, it's very hard not to follow your emotions, cause right now you want to call her up, confess you love her, how much you care, and how things will be great... Don't do it bro... If she really loves you and she really misses you then she'll be the first one to call...

[want2bulk]

You are always going to want to follow your emotions, Wait it out...let her call you... Sooner or later she will hear that you are doing better then she is, and this is going to make her think about what she lost... You're not playing games with her, your just giving yourself a chance to recover... If you call her back, chances are you guys will bring up old sh!t and you'll have to start from scratch anyways, and your feelings will be crushed again... It's too early, it's very hard not to follow your emotions, cause right now you want to call her up, confess you love her, how much you care, and how things will be great... Don't do it bro... If she really loves you and she really misses you then she'll be the first one to call...

I guess what sucks is that she did call me the day after she moved out but I think I might have scared her and made her think that I don't really love her. She thinks I slept with somebody else already because that's how I made it sound. She moved on so quick the last time, I didn't want it to seem like I was just sitting around and feeling like hell, as I did the last time. That is what I'm doing but I told her what I did cuz I thought she was hanging out with her punk ass EX that loves to run his mouth. I know I pushed her but this dude overdosed on some drugs after knowing her for two weeks cuz she said she just wanted to be friends. Then they got back together for a few weeks and she dumped him for me. He got pissed off cuz I said he overdosed cuz that's what I was told. He swore up and down he was gonna hunt me down and take me down. I kept my calm cuz it's not worth it. He verbally abused her by calling her quite a few names and calling her pussy loose. He harassed her and called her all the time for a few weeks. I know she thinks I'm bad but that dude did all that after just a few weeks. Imagine what he would do after months or years, and then he got hurt. I admit to my problem and am fixing it. Man, I've been typing a book. I just have too much on my mind.

[monster.]

Bro...Once and for all...If this girl doesn't call you back.. SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME... this is way too much effort for someone like this... You can only do so much man.. You admitted your mistake, and you are fixing it, and she still doesn't hit you up... CUT HER OFF there is no two ways about it... Trust me on this... You will be happier in the long run... Don't be surprised if she goes running back to crack head...misery loves company...

You'll get thru it bro...no doubt

[want2bulk]

Bro...Once and for all...If this girl doesn't call you back.. SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME... this is way too much effort for someone like this... You can only do so much man.. You admitted your mistake, and you are fixing it, and she still doesn't hit you up... CUT HER OFF there is no two ways about it... Trust me on this... You will be happier in the long run... Don't be surprised if she goes running back to crack head...misery loves company...

You'll get thru it bro...no doubt

You're probably right bro, I gotta be strong and stay away. Everything will run its course. I love her and she knows it. I feel like there's something very special here and she needs to feel it too. And as for the doucher she used to talk to, he overdosed on some meds for his brain tumor. He tries to claim that he had to go to the emergency room cuz they made him sick but he hasn't been back since ... hmmmmm. I saw how he acted when she left him for me, so there's no doubt in my mind that he did something stupid. People feel sorry for someone with cancer, but he tried to use it to his advantage ... like guilt trips and all. Emotional abuse kinda things. What's pathetic is that when he was in the the hospital for this ****, I told my EX that I wished him well and that I hoped he would be OK. I don't wish him well at all anymore.

[monster.]

You're probably right bro, I gotta be strong and stay away. Everything will run its course. I love her and she knows it. I feel like there's something very special here and she needs to feel it too.

If she's smart she'll realize what she's missing and be back in no time... If you really make her happy she won't let anything else come between you guys... In the meantime stay strong, keep yourself busy, and things will work out... they always do bro...

[Xavier_4446]

This might get a little lengthy or confusing. I hope I don't make too many typos cuz I wanna hurry up and get off the computer. I've been staring at this screen for wayyyyyyy too long.

I met this girl about two years ago and there was mutual attraction from the start. When we met, she had only been out of a year-long relationship for a month or two. I myself had been single for over a year. I was in my whore stage and was out to nail whatever I could. I met a lot of hot chicks in this time and got my jollies off quite a bit ... I thought I wanted to be single forever. I thought this girl was just gonna be "another #" but it turned out to be so much more. We got along really well and had a lot of things in common. We had some good times together and had the same sense of humor. This chick was awesome...I'd never fallen for anyone this quick before. It was, however, hard to committ to being her boyfriend. I knew she had just gotten out of a long relationship so I didn't want to be a rebound. After seeing each other for almost 2 months, it became official ... we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This only lasted two weeks and you guessed it, she got back with the EX. She never explained to me what was going on. She just said she didn't know what she wanted anymore. I ended up running into her friends and finding out about it. I ended up finding out that kissed him right before we broke up, so technically, she cheated on me too. It was still hard to get over this girl because I think I started to fall in love already. We had almost no contact for about 4 months and then she started screwing me while she was dating this guy. She eventually broke up with him and wanted to start dating again. It was really hard on me making this decision because she had already left me once and it hurt pretty **** bad. I thought about her every day and missed her like hell while we were broken up. When we started to hang out again, I felt I'd give it a shot. I obviously didn't trust her 100% at this time because of the past. We just had so much fun together I felt like I had to be with her. We started dating again and it lasted from about November until this past July, or 8 months. During the 8 months, we had some good times together. We were the kind of couple that could just cuddle up and watch a movie. We didn't always have to be out or be partying to have fun. At this time, we did drink together with friends and always had a good time. A few months into the relationship, we started to fight more. She felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown and I think the played a role. She hated her roommate, was having problems with friends and family, had a few friends pass away, and she never went out. I spent almost all of my time with her because I wanted someone to be there for her ... I wanted to be the shoulder she could cry on. I neglected my friends for this girl because she didn't have anything to do, but I didn't want her to hurt. She would get upset if I went out or if I was out too late. I would get upset with her for the same reasons as well. I don't know what her reasoning was, but I only got upset because she cheated on me b4 and I didn't have 100% trust ... it takes time to rebuild. The trust got to 100% eventually and I was hoping things would get better. I gave her a ring and she dumped me a week later. She just needed a break and needed to have fun, I guess. She felt like I was choosing roids over her which would NEVER happen. The breakup messed up my head pretty bad. I was a mess. She had sex with a 17 year old guy just a couple days after we broke up and then had sex with another guy a couple weeks after that. I hated not being able to talk to her so I would always call and she would act immature. She would put on a show in front of her friends. She said she didn't need me anymore and didn't want to talk again. Eventually, I got strong and gave her back everything she'd ever given me. At this time, she found out I was screwing another girl. She got really upset and came crawling back. She couldn't stand to see me with someone else and I guess it took me moving on to show her what she was missing. I'm not putting all the blame on her for the 2nd breakup, I'll take some as well...I wasn't always perfect. Anyways, she came crawling back even though she was with someone else. She dumped this guy and me and her got back together and had sex right away. I didn't think it'd feel right but I was so in love, nothing could have felt better. Her EX was always calling me and harassing me about ****, but I left it alone for the benefit of our relationship. My girl didn't want to move back home but had to get out of her apartment, so I offered to move in with her. My buddy wanted to move out as well so we all got a place together. WHAT A MISTAKE. Three is company and it caused tension. There would be arguments over TV, dishes in the sink, us having sex, or whatever. That **** got annoying. It would have been much better if just her and I moved in together. I started to get really stressed right after I signed the lease because a few days later, I heard my job was closing down after this summer. I have an old muscle car and it was right after this that I screwed up the motor ... after putting over $2,000 into it to get her running again. She doesn't know it but I think I burnt up a piston while hauling ass to the auto parts store to get a part for her car. I didn't have any race gas but wanted to try and get her car back on the road. It was 5:50 and the store closed at 6. See what I get for trying to be nice? I screw up my baby (67 Dodge Charger) and then moving out for her and my buddy stressed me out real bad. I never really liked living at my apartment. It was boring there. I felt lonely. Whenever I came to my parent's house, I stayed here for hours because I didn't want to go home. My workouts got shorter. I rarely slept without waking up a couple times throughout the night. I started to feel unwanted and worthless. I lost my sex drive. I lost my self esteem. I stopped going out with friends. I stopped being social. This is why I started juicin again ... in the past, they raised my self esteem and gave me lots of boners. The roids didn't help and I never liked what I saw in the mirror. I didn't talk about it much because I didn't want to spill my emotions, unless it was around my girl. I kinda mentioned my self esteem before, but she thought I was joking around because I used to be confident or "cocky" as she used to call it. On the inside, I did feel like ****. If she ever turned me down for sex or a BJ, I'd get pretty upset. It basically made me feel like there was someone else or that she wasn't attracted to me. I think it was all cuz of depression. We had our arguments because I'd wake her up early, and I guess that's cuz I just couldn't sleep. We'd argue over sex and that's about it. Sometimes, I would try to be calm and just talk to her ... she would yell and not give a crap. She had slapped me before and I pushed her. I usually only pushed her after she hit me, just to get her off of me. There was times where she would hit me, and I did nothing but take it. It wasn't complete abuse on her part. She would just slap me in the face a couple times or slap my back a few times. There was one time where she threw a complete temper tantrum and I just grabbed her and layed her on the bed. I held her down just because I wanted her to settle down. I loved this girl and I felt like **** inside, and the fights made it worse. Then came the dreadful day. We were arguing before she went to work and she was about to leave. I wanted to make up before she left so I was blocking the doorway. She didn't want to talk so she gave me a little shove. I pushed her back and she ended up falling down. She freaked out instantly and my heart sank when she fell. She was crying hysterically and I apologized immediately. I took her into the bedroom and tried to calm her down for 20 minutes ... nothing. She wouldn't stop crying so I let her leave. I tried to text message her saying that I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to get help cuz I wasn't feeling the same about myself. I wanted to tell her that I'd get us relationship counseling and I would pay for it. I just wanted to see if we could get some insight from a 3rd party but she never responded. She moved out the next day. She called me the day after moving out because she found out I was with another girl. I made it sound like we did some sexual things, but only because I thought she was with a guy. This other girl and I just talked and hugged ... it was nothing. My EX was crying when she found out and I told her I thought I had depression and couldn't help how I acted sometimes. She told me to get help and that she couldn't talk to me cuz her parents wouldn't allow it (she moved back home with mom). She said her mom was abused and she witnessed it as a kid. If I had known that, I would've made every effort to keep my hands off her no matter what but she should have done the same for me. I tried to call her and wish her a Happy New Year but she changed her #. I got a card for her and a letter and I made up a CD. I put it all on her car one day and then it was back in my mailbox two days later. The card was in an envelope that said "open first". It was my apology and I said "If you're at all interested, open the other envelope. If not, throw it away." She opened the other envelope with the letter explaining everything. She still gave it all back except she kept the CD and put in a picture of us together. What the hell gives here? Is she done? She knows I wanted to see a doctor. I just went to the doctor today and I got on an anti-depressant. He said it's been going on long enough so I'm going to try these and also see a psychiatrist. I think I'm doing a good thing by recognizing the problem and doing something about. I felt horrible when I pushed her but she never showed any remorse for hitting me. I don't know if she felt bad inside or not, but I sure did. I know her parents are probably telling her to stay away and I used to hear that as well. My friends and family told me to stay away cuz she already broke my heart. I went with my heart and my feelings, and got back with her. I didn't regret it then and I still don't because I love her to death. She knows that I'm an awesome guy inside. I just had things ****ing with my head. I had so much stress/depression. I had no confidence. I haven't done roids since she moved out. I stopped my cycle and am going to get rid of my supply. I guess my question is, what the hell do I do? I did a lot of things for her ... just little things that go unnoticed. She did a lot of things for me as well and they meant a lot. I loved being around her. We had fun together. We had similar personalities and interests. We had an awesome sex life, in my opinion. If I wouldn't have had depression, we would have had it all. Do I just give up or keep fighting for her? I know I messed up by pushing her, but she has to know that I didn't mean for her to fall ... I wouldn't have reacted the way I did if I meant for that to happen. She also messed up by hitting me. We have to realize to keep our hands to ourselves no matter how angry we get and at least I am getting help. I'm a good guy inside. Girls tell me this all the time. I've even told girls about some of the things I did for her and what I had planned for Valentines Day. All they say is, "****, will you be my boyfriend?" Obviously not yet, cuz I'm not over my EX! I'm a smart, hard working, caring, loving guy. I'm awesome with kids and love em. She knows this on the inside but I think other people around her might be influencing her unless I did scare her that bad. She knows I'd be a perfect guy to settle down with. I'm all about committment. So would you guys suggest I try to get in touch with her and prove that I'm getting help? Or should I move on because she knows I want to get help but doesn't seem to care? I was there for her when she needed me, no matter how tough it was for me. I know I may have scared her, but she seems to turn her back on me rather easily. I'm sorry this is soooo long but I need advice. I'm going through some **** right now. Please help. Thanks guy and gals!!!!

Waiting for the cliff notes on this one

[redrumkev]

cliff notes would help a bunch. But things is, you are young and I am only a few years older then you at 23, but I have been through the same thing twice. It sucks, but at least you can learn something from this, don't trust anyone just to trust them, trust is earned and should be something that is not given freely. She will be back a few more times, I am sure, and one day you will either be together, be friends or hate each other, that will happen in time!

[Mr. Death]

Whoa! I can not believe that any of you guys allow yourself to be drug through situations like this. Being with a woman is supposed to be fun, not a stressed out nightmare. I would never put up with even 1/1000th of what you have gone through. I understand that you love this girl, but as the old cliche goes, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. You could find another girl in a week who would treat you like a king if you wanted to. It still amazes me to this day how some guys will change their entire personality, and drop everything they are doing at any given time to please a woman. You just have to be who you really are, and you will find a woman who will love you unconditionally for who you are without all of the drama.

[want2bulk]

Whoa! I can not believe that any of you guys allow yourself to be drug through situations like this. Being with a woman is supposed to be fun, not a stressed out nightmare. I would never put up with even 1/1000th of what you have gone through. I understand that you love this girl, but as the old cliche goes, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. You could find another girl in a week who would treat you like a king if you wanted to. It still amazes me to this day how some guys will change their entire personality, and drop everything they are doing at any given time to please a woman. You just have to be who you really are, and you will find a woman who will love you unconditionally for who you are without all of the drama.

Thanks for the input guys, and sorry my post was so long but I wanted to give the whole story. I've made mistakes just with starting arguments and getting jealous at times. My jealousy was related to her cheating on me before. The trust was earned back over time. I was 100% faithful to her while we were committed. She was what I looked forward to every single day. She started arguments and got jealous as well. She cheated. She slapped me and I pushed her. I was obviously wrong for pushing her and I obviously feel like crap and am actively trying to resolve the issues within myself. The most important thing in a relationship is TRUST. I do feel like she was able to trust me all the time. I wouldn't even dream of cheating on this girl. And you're right bro, most guys wouldn't go through what I did. Most guys would be like screw her, move on, after they were cheated on and left for another guy. I tried to move on but we started talking again and that old flame came back. I just took it slow with her and eventually the trust came back ... it was kinda hurt again though when we broke up and she had sex just two days later. I've gone through my "hoe" days or whatever so I've met a LOT of girls. Something about this one just seems different though. Our personalities match so **** well, it's unreal to me. We have some awesome times together and can't get enough of each other sometimes. I didn't change myself for her this last time, I changed myself because of what I was feeling inside. I could find another girl to treat me right but something keeps dragging me back to this one. I know of one girl who is nice as hell and wants me like crazy, but I just can't do it man ... I just can't do it.

[spywizard]

Life is a journey.............

Along that path you will meet many people... even people on this board... take from everyone what they are willing to share..

In relationships... enjoy the moment..

You can't make someone like/love you.. even if you love them..

We all make decissions based on what we believe will make us happy...

Youe..............me...............her............

Peace out..

[abstrack]

Waiting for the cliff notes on this one

[Polska]

I'll admit, I skimmed that, but...

In my opinion you should've never got back with her after she initially went back to her ex. That's just one of the things you don't do - it shows that you're weak right off the bat. When girls see that they take advantage of you. If a girl disrespects me in any way I show her the door without hesitation. It's her loss.

Right now enjoy the single life, lift hard and develop some self-esteem. In return your confidence will go up and you'll feel better about everything. At 21 you have your whole life ahead of you, why worry yourself to death about a girl now man. If she's causing you so much grief she's not worth it. So many fish in the sea.... why waste your time on one?

[ItalianMuscle]

Bro.. you writing a book ?

[want2bulk]

I'll admit, I skimmed that, but...

In my opinion you should've never got back with her after she initially went back to her ex. That's just one of the things you don't do - it shows that you're weak right off the bat. When girls see that they take advantage of you. If a girl disrespects me in any way I show her the door without hesitation. It's her loss.

Right now enjoy the single life, lift hard and develop some self-esteem. In return your confidence will go up and you'll feel better about everything. At 21 you have your whole life ahead of you, why worry yourself to death about a girl now man. If she's causing you so much grief she's not worth it. So many fish in the sea.... why waste your time on one?

Maybe I shouldn't have taken her back after her first screw up, I usually just give girls the boot as well. I've never taken a lot of crap from girls ... I usually just get rid of em and start nailing someone else. This girl has always been different. After every break up, it took me a little while to get back into the single scene. The last time we broke up, it took me 5 or 6 weeks to even kiss another girl and I had the chance loooooooong before then. I guess it's just kinda hard for me to enjoy the single life and maybe that's cuz I like having a girlfriend so much. I like spending a lot of my time with a girl I care about. I like to go out with the boys as well, but I love having a girl, especially one those boring ass nights ... which is Sunday thru Thursday around here. I guess this whole thing is causing so much grief and I'm trying so hard because something just feels right with her. I would hate to not make any effort and then realize that I missed out big time. Whether it be in a few weeks, months, or even years. I look back at a girl I dated when I was only 16-17 and she was one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. It would suck to be taken from age 16 but she was pretty awesome .. I screwed that one up and never fought for it. I don't want to do the same thing this time either. I just wonder if this new EX girlfriend of mine is thinking about the same thing. If she doesn't hear me out, she might realize she made a mistake. She may not realize it right away, but eventually, she will. By the way, Italian Muscle, I definitely feel like I'm writing a book ... maybe even two!

[monster.]

Tell me you didn't call her... Lie to me if you have to!!!

hehe

[want2bulk]

Tell me you didn't call her... Lie to me if you have to!!!

hehe

I can't call her man I don't have her # ... she changed her cell #. I have the # to the house where she's staying but I don't want to bug her. I'm starting to think that if she honestly think I'm crazy or "abusive", I should just move on. If she can't look deep inside me after knowing me for two years, there's obviously a problem. I've always looked past her flaws and have seen the true person she is. That's why I was always there and never turned my back on her. Maybe a part of her wants to talk to me, but other people are keeping her away ... I really don't know. I know that all my friends and family told me to stay away. Hell, people at work told me to stay away and even her friend at one time. I didn't listen ... I did my own thing. Some people may not agree with what I do, but if they honestly care about me, they'll support my decisions. I can honestly say that I think she's a different person now and that's why I'm here. She turned into a little sweetie.

[monster.]

I can't call her man I don't have her # ... she changed her cell #. I have the # to the house where she's staying but I don't want to bug her. I'm starting to think that if she honestly think I'm crazy or "abusive", I should just move on. If she can't look deep inside me after knowing me for two years, there's obviously a problem. I've always looked past her flaws and have seen the true person she is. That's why I was always there and never turned my back on her.

Now your talking bro, Hell of a change what a few hours can do... You sound alot better then yesterday... Let it bug her, cause if you don't call her she just spends more time thinking about why you're not calling her... Until she finally decides to call... If she's smart, If she doesn't... Thats her loss...

It's magnificent isn't it...hehe j/k

[want2bulk]

Now your talking bro, Hell of a change what a few hours can do... You sound alot better then yesterday... Let it bug her, cause if you don't call her she just spends more time thinking about why you're not calling her... Until she finally decides to call... If she's smart, If she doesn't... Thats her loss...

It's magnificent isn't it...hehe j/k

I am doing better than yesterday and hopefully I'll be doing even better tomorrow. I broke down after I left the doctor yesterday but I've done a lot of thinking and talking to people. Like I said, I'm a nice guy and everybody understands that. Everybody around me sees how much I care about her and they think she's crazy if she can't see something was different. It hurts quite a bit to be going through something like this and she won't even TALK to me, or support me. Like I said earlier, I was there for her when was about to have a breakdown. Where is she for me? I just have confidence in myself and I know I'm gonna get wayyyyyyy better. I've talked to so many people and it helps a ton. I'm gonna make some girl very happy. We'll just see if it's this one or not. I still hope it is.

[monster.]

Everybody around me sees how much I care about her and they think she's crazy if she can't see something was different. It hurts quite a bit to be going through something like this and she won't even TALK to me, or support me. Like I said earlier, I was there for her when was about to have a breakdown. Where is she for me?

I know the type of girl that you describe here all too well, Chances are she doesn't mean it man, they never do... Sometimes people have cruel intentions, and sometimes They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt, cause it happened before to them...At least thats what i've noticed... If she cares about you, she'll be back... Just keep busy, thats the best thing to do..

[want2bulk]

I know the type of girl that you describe here all too well, Chances are she doesn't mean it man, they never do... Sometimes people have cruel intentions, and sometimes They are trying to protect themselves from being hurt, cause it happened before to them...At least thats what i've noticed... If she cares about you, she'll be back... Just keep busy, thats the best thing to do..

I think she lets her parents play a role too. I understand adults can give good advice but your parents aren't going to care about the whole story. Mine will always take my side and hers will always be on her side. The reason we broke up the 2nd time is because she told her mom some things and her mom told her to get away. She listened and wouldn't talk to me for a while "cuz her mom would be pissed". I think I've shown her parents the good side of me and they know it's there. My EX knows it's there too. If I listened to my parents, I would have only known this girl for 3 months because I never would have given her a second chance. I'm glad I did because I've gotten feelings for someone ... feelings I never knew I could have. I've had some of the best times of my life with her ... not even doing anything special, it's just because it's with her. I go with what I feel is right and I never regret it. Maybe this is all her decision, or maybe it's not. I just wish I knew.

[want2bulk]

Just a little update guys. It's now been two weeks since this girl has moved out. Tomorrow will be two weeks since I last heard her voice. Has it been long enough to prove that I'm getting help? I guess I want some sort of closure here. I know I hurt her and I know she's scared to get back with me. I've had the same things running through my mind with her. It's hard to get back with a guy after he pushes you and I understand that. It's also hard to get back with a girl after she cheats on you, turns her back on you, makes you out to be an ass to EVERYbody, and slaps you. EVERY person has a problem at some point and EVERY person makes mistakes. It's what that person does about the problem/mistake that makes them who they are. I feel horrible and everybody around me sees that. I'm getting help and doing everything I can to make sure this doesn't happen again. What the hell do I do? I've got a few girls who are interested in me and I just wish I knew what was going on with Danielle (my EX).

[want2bulk]

OK ... this is a SON OF A BIATCH!!! I just had a friend go up to my ex's work to give her some pictures and try to talk to her for just a few minutes. My friend told her that I was on anti-depressants and talking to a psychiatrist. My friend told her that if she could just give me 5 minutes to talk to her, it'd mean a lot. She just said, "I can't." My friend then gave her the pictures and my EX said "Oh god!" I guess she got kinda pissed off and slammed her tray on the counter and walked away. It looks like this is done. What a day...SOB!!!

[monster.]

Bro, didn't i say let her call you this entire time!!... I understand you're impatient, Let things be for now, hook up with those hotties (make sure they are hotties, so when she finds out she gets jealous) and concentrate on making yourself happy...

If she's going to be like fawk this, i'm done blah blah blah, she don't deserve you... The last thing i'd say is tell your friend to find out whats going on.. Make sure its you bro!!!

You're doing better then i am...lol

[want2bulk]

Bro, didn't i say let her call you this entire time!!... I understand you're impatient, Let things be for now, hook up with those hotties (make sure they are hotties, so when she finds out she gets jealous) and concentrate on making yourself happy...

If she's going to be like fawk this, i'm done blah blah blah, she don't deserve you... The last thing i'd say is tell your friend to find out whats going on.. Make sure its you bro!!!

You're doing better then i am...lol

You did tell me to let her call me man. Sorry bro! Maybe this was a bad idea. I just didn't know if she'd ever call or hear that I am doing better. We don't have any mutual friends and now she lives 30 minutes away in a small ass town. I didn't know if we'd ever run into each other anytime soon. I just wanted to make sure that she KNEW I was getting help. I thought it might make a difference because her dad has been to jail for hitting a woman. He's also thrown his current wife against his truck. He had to take anger management classes and such, so I figured if she knew I was getting help, maybe she'd realize this sh!t does happen to a lot of people. What do you mean to tell my friend to find out what's going on? And if I'm doing better than you, I'm sorry to hear that man ... what's the problem with ya?

[monster.]

LOL...by sending your friend up to her, to talk to her fro you thats what i meant, It would of looked better if you did... Oh well, It's over and done with now bro... It doesn't make a difference, just take it like it is, by her saying "I can't" gave me the impression the **** is still on her mind and she is still thinking alot about you guys. She already knows in the back of her head that you are doing better (she'll never admit it of course) I'd say good job so far, and hook up with those girls, just to find a companion ya know... She'll hear about it soon enough...

As far as me, I think Janurary is NATIONAL AR BOARD BREAKUP MONTH... My girl and i split after a long time, Its killing me!!!! lol... It helps me out to give some advice, but i'm in the dumps as of lately bro, I got school, and work to keep me busy, but i feel vulnerable right now i got a vicious attitude with people... i'm just an all around mess!!!

oh well...take care..good luck bro.. it will work out!!

[want2bulk]

LOL...by sending your friend up to her, to talk to her fro you thats what i meant, It would of looked better if you did... Oh well, It's over and done with now bro... It doesn't make a difference, just take it like it is, by her saying "I can't" gave me the impression the **** is still on her mind and she is still thinking alot about you guys. She already knows in the back of her head that you are doing better (she'll never admit it of course) I'd say good job so far, and hook up with those girls, just to find a companion ya know... She'll hear about it soon enough...

As far as me, I think Janurary is NATIONAL AR BOARD BREAKUP MONTH... My girl and i split after a long time, Its killing me!!!! lol... It helps me out to give some advice, but i'm in the dumps as of lately bro, I got school, and work to keep me busy, but i feel vulnerable right now i got a vicious attitude with people... i'm just an all around mess!!!

oh well...take care..good luck bro.. it will work out!!

I think it would've been better if I did but I can guarantee you this girl wouldn't face me. She wouldn't do it before when I didn't really do anything wrong so I can almost guarantee she wouldn't do it now. So you really think **** is still on her mind by her saying that? I hope she's thinking about me like I'm thinking about her. It sucks ass every time I lay in bed and every time I wake up. I was used to her being next to me. I am trying to stay in touch with those other girls and maybe take a couple of em out just to see how we match up. What do you think her getting pissed off and slamming her tray down meant? She just slammed it down and walked away ... my friend (a girl) said it didn't seem good.

I read your post just a minute ago bro. I've been in the same situation and it sucks MAJOR ass. I went through it with a girl I dated a couple years ago. She was always partying with guys and hanging out without me around... she'd never invite me cuz "she thought they'd start a fight". I was always worrying but there wasn't much I could do about it. It caused fights and we ended up breaking up and she had a new boyfriend just a couple days later. I think she did cheat on me .... that's the impression I'm getting from a buddy that did see her at a couple parties (I became friends with this guy after we broke up). My newest EX (the girl in question) used to hang out with guys as well and go partying. I know this girl cheated on me but one her friends used to tell me everything. I really think this last girl was good when she was hanging out with guys. She ended up being pretty good as far as committment goes. So, it could be bad and it could be good man. I'd say make her take you along if you talk again. You have to meet these guys and hang out with em to see what they're like. If they're douche bags, you shouldn't have anything to worry about it bro. I'll hope the best for ya man cuz this sh!t sucks!!!

[monster.]

What do you think her getting pissed off and slamming her tray down meant? She just slammed it down and walked away ... my friend (a girl) said it didn't seem good.

Yes this, this is mint... Bro she still cares, Of course she is thinking about you!!!! Epecially if a girl goes up to her, and mentions your name!!! hehe... Imagine if you were in her shoes, One of her guy friends comes up to you at work and mentioned your girl to you, with the thoughts going thru your head, wouldn't you be pissed? I would, I would of did the same thing bro... She still cares, and there are still feelings, it's probally still racking her head what happened, but i would look forward to hearing from her soon, if not tonight...

As far as my situtation, I called her the day after our argument and told her i will always love her and be there for her and tried to comprimise the situation.. I was like i want us all to hang out and everything will be cool i will not put you into a situation, however she knows how i am... I said (i probally should of not said this) if one of her friends were to make a comment in a demeaning mannor towards her, or me or any smartass **** that i would handle it... This was followed up by: her saying, I am not going to set my friends up blah blah blah... So you can beat the **** out of them... and she hung up... I sincerely gave it my best shot by saying that i would love to all hang out as a group and we can all be cool... I felt like she denied me and chose her buddys over her boyfriend, and thats why i have no intentions to call her... When she realizes what kind of fake ass people she is associating with and decides to call me for anything... i told her consider us cut off, cause i will have no part... I just had enough, and my feelings were hurt so i reacted and i probally said things wrong but i'm not perfect...