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  1. #1
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Funny One Liners

    The other day some one (i dont remeber who or i would give them credit) got some gear in and they wrote:

    "Im happier than a bus load of retards going to chucky chees's"....

    Im still lauging about that one....

    One of my personal favorites is:

    "Im out like a fat kid in a dodgeball tournament"

    Everyone fill in what their favorite "one liner" is...
    Last edited by ColdStone; 01-29-2004 at 03:04 PM.

  2. #2
    DADDYDBOL's Avatar
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    were you born that stupid or did you wake up early and practice

  3. #3
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    I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire.

  4. #4
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    "**** me freddy" maybe that's not a one liner but it's funny

  5. #5
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    those are good....how bout this one

    "Happier than a booth full of fat ladies at Krispy Kreme"

  6. #6
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    I'll rip off your head and sh!t down your throat...............

  7. #7
    Da Bull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone
    those are good....how bout this one

    "Happier than a booth full of fat ladies at Krispy Kreme"
    Following that theme......................."I don't have enough meat for all those potatos"

  8. #8
    peam's Avatar
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    I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

  9. #9
    jbol's Avatar
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    "that aint worth a broke d**k"

  10. #10
    jbol's Avatar
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    "whatever blows your skirt up"

  11. #11
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    hmm

    "why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free"

  12. #12
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    how bout...

    "Off like a prom dress"...

    this is a good one too...when some one askes you something and your answer is yes say...

    "Is a ducks ass water tight?"....haha that makes me laugh everytime

  13. #13
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    oh yeah...and following the same principle of the "Is a ducks ass water tight?"...

    say..."Is a pigs a$$ pork?"

    **** i could go all day laughing at this ****

  14. #14
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    how bout
    "off your a$$ and on your feet, outta the shade and in the heat"

  15. #15
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    When i was a cop i said that all the time.. then i changed it to

    "I will rip your arm off your body, and beat you to death with it."


    Toooooooooooo FUnny


    Quote Originally Posted by Da Bull
    I'll rip off your head and sh!t down your throat...............
    The answer to your every question

    Rules

    A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted
    to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially
    one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.


    If you get scammed by an UGL listed on this board or by another member here, it's all part of the game and learning experience for you,
    we do not approve nor support any sources that may be listed on this site.
    I will not do source checks for you, the peer review from other members should be enough to help you make a decision on your quest. Buyer beware.

    Why the Police will Kick your ass

  16. #16
    redrock is offline Member
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    How about, "More frustrated then a deaf mute playing Bingo, getting Bingo and trying to holler out Bingo!"

  17. #17
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redrock
    How about, "More frustrated then a deaf mute playing Bingo, getting Bingo and trying to holler out Bingo!"
    haha thats good red

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    "why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free"
    "my grandma always said..."

    mallrats. great movie.

  19. #19
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    "Does a bear **** in the woods?"

  20. #20
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    "It tastes like monkey... monkey thats passed it's prime!" - Chris Griffin, Family Guy

    Red

  21. #21
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    how bout...

    Im hapier than a busload of gay men going to see a ricky martin consert.

  22. #22
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    I'm more pissed off than a one legged Etheopian watching a doughnut roll down the street.

  23. #23
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    That'll go over like a turd in a punch bowl.

  24. #24
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    "I wouldn't fu¢k her with a stolen dick!" - George Carlin

    Red

  25. #25
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    More of my favorite Carlin one liners...

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: 'practice'?

    If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    There thinking about banning toy guns.....AND THERE GOING TO KEEP THE FU¢KING REAL ONES!!!

    Fu¢k Mickey Mouse. F¢ck him in the asshöle with a big rubber di¢k. Then break it off and beat him with the rest of it.

    Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    Red...

  26. #26
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    "My name is Dixie - Dixie Normous"

  27. #27
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    "You smell like an anchovies c u n t"

  28. #28
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    "i wouldnt fcuk her with your dick and and if he was pushin" (when discussing a nasty chick at the bar with your friends)

  29. #29
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    I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot long sanitary pole.

  30. #30
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    That guy looks happier than a fag with a bag full of d i c ks!

  31. #31
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    "Your about as good as a one legged man in an ass kickin contest"
    "your as useless as tits on a bull"

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone
    how bout...

    "Off like a prom dress"...

    this is a good one too...when some one askes you something and your answer is yes say...

    "Is a ducks ass water tight?"....haha that makes me laugh everytime

    I like, does howdy doody have wooden balls?

  33. #33
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    one liners....

    Lets make like a fart and blow this hole...

    happier the a faty kid in a candy store...

    as depressed as a fat kid at skinny camp

    Happier then a gay man in a dildo factory

    the deal is like a sore d ick...you can't beat it...

    she is so butch that even her dog wears combat boots...

  34. #34
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    it could be raining pussy and I'd go out and catch a dick (refering to my piss poor luck)

  35. #35
    Butch is offline Anabolic Member
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    "You can wish in one hand and sh*t in the other....then see which one fills up first"

  36. #36
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    LS1
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    [QUOTE=ColdStone]The other day some one (i dont remeber who or i would give them credit) got some gear in and they wrote:

    "Im happier than a bus load of retards going to chucky chees's"....

    Im still lauging about that one....

    What about ....
    Im happier then a preist in a room full of alter boys

  37. #37
    monster.'s Avatar
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    Like a midget at a urnial, Mass Junkie has to keep on his toes!!

    There are two types of people in this world, italians and people who want to be italian!!

    She's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!!

    **old** I would of been your father if the dog didn't beat me over the fence!!

    I'm higher then a kite!!

    It's colder then a witches tit in a brass bra!!

    LOL

  38. #38
    monster.'s Avatar
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    Sweating bullets!!

    I felt like a gerbal at a gay pride parade!!

  39. #39
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    Does a wild bear **** in the woods?
    Does the pope wear a big hat?
    Does a one legged duck swim in circles?

  40. #40
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    I'm Kingsh*t on Turd Island

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