Thread: Funny One Liners
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01-29-2004, 03:02 PM #1
Funny One Liners
The other day some one (i dont remeber who or i would give them credit) got some gear in and they wrote:
"Im happier than a bus load of retards going to chucky chees's"....
Im still lauging about that one....
One of my personal favorites is:
"Im out like a fat kid in a dodgeball tournament"
Everyone fill in what their favorite "one liner" is...Last edited by ColdStone; 01-29-2004 at 03:04 PM.
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01-29-2004, 03:37 PM #2
were you born that stupid or did you wake up early and practice
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01-29-2004, 03:41 PM #3
I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire.
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01-29-2004, 03:47 PM #4
"**** me freddy" maybe that's not a one liner but it's funny
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01-29-2004, 03:49 PM #5
those are good....how bout this one
"Happier than a booth full of fat ladies at Krispy Kreme"
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01-29-2004, 03:50 PM #6
I'll rip off your head and sh!t down your throat...............
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01-29-2004, 03:53 PM #7Originally Posted by ColdStone
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01-29-2004, 03:54 PM #8
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
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01-29-2004, 03:58 PM #9
"that aint worth a broke d**k"
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01-29-2004, 04:11 PM #10
"whatever blows your skirt up"
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01-29-2004, 04:24 PM #11Anabolic Member
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hmm
"why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free"
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01-29-2004, 04:27 PM #12
how bout...
"Off like a prom dress"...
this is a good one too...when some one askes you something and your answer is yes say...
"Is a ducks ass water tight?"....haha that makes me laugh everytime
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01-29-2004, 04:29 PM #13
oh yeah...and following the same principle of the "Is a ducks ass water tight?"...
say..."Is a pigs a$$ pork?"
**** i could go all day laughing at this ****
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01-29-2004, 06:45 PM #14
how bout
"off your a$$ and on your feet, outta the shade and in the heat"
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01-29-2004, 06:55 PM #15
When i was a cop i said that all the time.. then i changed it to
"I will rip your arm off your body, and beat you to death with it."
Toooooooooooo FUnny
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01-29-2004, 07:04 PM #16Member
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How about, "More frustrated then a deaf mute playing Bingo, getting Bingo and trying to holler out Bingo!"
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01-29-2004, 07:47 PM #17Originally Posted by redrock
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01-29-2004, 09:10 PM #18Originally Posted by partyboynyc
mallrats. great movie.
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01-29-2004, 09:18 PM #19
"Does a bear **** in the woods?"
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01-29-2004, 10:06 PM #20
"It tastes like monkey... monkey thats passed it's prime!" - Chris Griffin, Family Guy
Red
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01-29-2004, 10:11 PM #21
how bout...
Im hapier than a busload of gay men going to see a ricky martin consert.
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01-29-2004, 10:21 PM #22
I'm more pissed off than a one legged Etheopian watching a doughnut roll down the street.
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01-29-2004, 10:32 PM #23
That'll go over like a turd in a punch bowl.
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01-29-2004, 10:35 PM #24
"I wouldn't fu¢k her with a stolen dick!" - George Carlin
Red
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01-29-2004, 10:51 PM #25
More of my favorite Carlin one liners...
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: 'practice'?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
There thinking about banning toy guns.....AND THERE GOING TO KEEP THE FU¢KING REAL ONES!!!
Fu¢k Mickey Mouse. F¢ck him in the asshöle with a big rubber di¢k. Then break it off and beat him with the rest of it.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Red...
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01-29-2004, 10:57 PM #26
"My name is Dixie - Dixie Normous"
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01-29-2004, 11:25 PM #27
"You smell like an anchovies c u n t"
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01-30-2004, 12:02 AM #28
"i wouldnt fcuk her with your dick and and if he was pushin" (when discussing a nasty chick at the bar with your friends)
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01-30-2004, 12:24 AM #29
I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot long sanitary pole.
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01-30-2004, 01:25 AM #30
That guy looks happier than a fag with a bag full of d i c ks!
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01-30-2004, 03:41 AM #31
"Your about as good as a one legged man in an ass kickin contest"
"your as useless as tits on a bull"
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01-30-2004, 03:48 AM #32Originally Posted by ColdStone
I like, does howdy doody have wooden balls?
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01-30-2004, 07:59 AM #33
one liners....
Lets make like a fart and blow this hole...
happier the a faty kid in a candy store...
as depressed as a fat kid at skinny camp
Happier then a gay man in a dildo factory
the deal is like a sore d ick...you can't beat it...
she is so butch that even her dog wears combat boots...
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01-30-2004, 08:14 AM #34
it could be raining pussy and I'd go out and catch a dick (refering to my piss poor luck)
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01-30-2004, 12:17 PM #35Anabolic Member
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"You can wish in one hand and sh*t in the other....then see which one fills up first"
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01-30-2004, 12:47 PM #36
[QUOTE=ColdStone]The other day some one (i dont remeber who or i would give them credit) got some gear in and they wrote:
"Im happier than a bus load of retards going to chucky chees's"....
Im still lauging about that one....
What about ....
Im happier then a preist in a room full of alter boys
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01-30-2004, 12:55 PM #37
Like a midget at a urnial, Mass Junkie has to keep on his toes!!
There are two types of people in this world, italians and people who want to be italian!!
She's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!!
**old** I would of been your father if the dog didn't beat me over the fence!!
I'm higher then a kite!!
It's colder then a witches tit in a brass bra!!
LOL
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01-30-2004, 12:57 PM #38
Sweating bullets!!
I felt like a gerbal at a gay pride parade!!
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01-30-2004, 01:04 PM #39
Does a wild bear **** in the woods?
Does the pope wear a big hat?
Does a one legged duck swim in circles?
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01-30-2004, 01:31 PM #40
I'm Kingsh*t on Turd Island
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