Guys with wifes or long term girlfriends plz read

[Needtobeswoledup]

How do you know when your in love and have met "the one"? I "fell in love" with my current girlfriend for the first 6 months that we dated. Now that it's been a year and 6 months I find myself doubting whether I love her or not. She is talking about getting married and I don't want to marry this girl and find out I wasn't really in love. I am very comfortable with my girlfriend and we are the best of friends but I just seem to have lost that "loving feeling"(not to be cheesy). To make things more complicated this past weekend a friend that's a girl that I used to like a lot came down. Me and a friend and her and a friend all went out and we really hit it off. Ended up at her friends apt at 3am... we kissed but I didn't feel right about it and told her I had to go. Now I find myself thinking about her thou and that really makes me wonder.(not to mention she wants to see me again soon). So now I'm all sorts of confused. Anyway how did you guys know it was the right one.

[USfighterFC]

That's a classic case bro. It's a real tough call to make I mean I know you like this new girl who just came down although you liked her back in the day but you still love your current g/f. It depends on what you wanna do. Do you wanna be with the current g/f still? You should really let her know how you feel about how you dont want to get married but dont say anything about this new girl, just dont jerk around your current g/f. Just tell her you dont want to get married and you wont be ready for a while. My ex g/f was like that a lot she wanted to marry me more than anything.....but i told her i didnt want to and she took it pretty personal....hence the word ex g/f. You and the new girl should relax and not jump into it like that.......hang out more and see if you really like her or if that was just a random event. Dont rush into it with her. Me and my ex had to break it off because she was ready to settle down and get married and I wasn't...............but then i married a russian whore a year later............f*ckin weird man.

[Needtobeswoledup]

I still want to be with the current girl... i love the stability and that i can share anything with her and she knows everything about me and vice versa however there are some things I don't like about her and lately just been wondering if she's the right one or not. I'm not jumping into anything with the new girl cuz she lives in houston and i'm in san marcos(4 hours away) so even if I tried i'd only see her like every 3 weeks. It's not that I want to date this new girl it just made me wonder about my feelings for my current one which I'd actually been wondering about b4 this new girl came along argh... anyway thx for the advice I probably will tell her I am not rdy yet and see what she says but I'm still wondering how you guys knew u had the right one..

[USfighterFC]

You know when you know. It's sometimes hard to tell. Just stay with the current and if the relationship begins to suffer then you will know.

[groverman1]

Follow your heart, do not get married to anyone unless you have sowed all of your wild oats.

[spywizard]

Married 16 years 1st time
married 5 years 2nd time........ongoing..

If she is talking marriage.. and you haven't asked.............. refer to 1st above...

I got married way tooooooooo young.... and i never wanted to.............. but just don't get married especially if you are even thinking about it......

the 2nd time.. there was a question i asked myself..


"if i won the lottery... would i stay with this woman, and share that experience with her, or would i want a different one every 6 months.."

You said the relationship was compfortable.. comeon.... don't be lazy... and that's what it is...... easier to stay than to go through the breakup...

use the line............. "look.. i am not ready to get married, can't we just be friends??" not to be flipent or casual about it... you are already doing things that will end the relationship............

Yes kissing a girl is cheating...............

How do you know when your in love and have met "the one"? I "fell in love" with my current girlfriend for the first 6 months that we dated. Now that it's been a year and 6 months I find myself doubting whether I love her or not. She is talking about getting married and I don't want to marry this girl and find out I wasn't really in love. I am very comfortable with my girlfriend and we are the best of friends but I just seem to have lost that "loving feeling"(not to be cheesy). To make things more complicated this past weekend a friend that's a girl that I used to like a lot came down. Me and a friend and her and a friend all went out and we really hit it off. Ended up at her friends apt at 3am... we kissed but I didn't feel right about it and told her I had to go. Now I find myself thinking about her thou and that really makes me wonder.(not to mention she wants to see me again soon). So now I'm all sorts of confused. Anyway how did you guys know it was the right one.

[CutieFace]

since you're questioning how you feel and you're not sure, it's obvious you're not prepared for marriage let alone to her...

the first 6 months you were not in love, you were in lust, too many people confuse the two.....

say good bye.....don't lead her on any longer (she obviously is thinking you'll marry her)
so move on

Cutie

(yea yea I know sometimes I can be a cold hearted biatch)

[spywizard]

Cutie is correct..........

now read her's and mine... they say the same...

but her's just sounds more real................ Dude........it's because she is a woman.......... and it sounds more believable coming from her..

Sorry man.............

since you're questioning how you feel and you're not sure, it's obvious you're not prepared for marriage let alone to her...

the first 6 months you were not in love, you were in lust, too many people confuse the two.....

say good bye.....don't lead her on any longer (she obviously is thinking you'll marry her)
so move on

Cutie

(yea yea I know sometimes I can be a cold hearted biatch)

[hoss827]

Hmm....That is a hard one bro. For me (yes yes...I know i'm 16, but i'm putting in my opinion anyway you bastards ) but for me, I think it's when you dont' want anyone else...That you would rather spend the rest of your life with that person , and no one else. Thats the way i feel about my girl anyway, And sometimes you just have the feeling, and you know...Love is weird bro, anyway enough of my rambling and good luck,

--Hoss

[cb25]

I absolutely agree with spy and cutie...i was engaged to a girl that I had been with for a few years and started having the same feelings...before i had a chance to do anything about it or talk to her about it, things got rocky and fell apart...it's not your fault (though she'll probably blame you)...it's just the way things are...talk to her. Don't lead her on anymore.

You're not doing it because of this new girl. You're doing it because you don't want to get into something you're not ready for with someone who isn't right for you.

[spywizard]

CB hit that one on the head... you are Sabotaging your relationship... subconciously you know it has to end... but you are avoiding the breakup........

I just stop calling them.......... but i was a bastard............ still am..............

I absolutely agree with spy and cutie...i was engaged to a girl that I had been with for a few years and started having the same feelings...before i had a chance to do anything about it or talk to her about it, things got rocky and fell apart...it's not your fault (though she'll probably blame you)...it's just the way things are...talk to her. Don't lead her on anymore.

You're not doing it because of this new girl. You're doing it because you don't want to get into something you're not ready for with someone who isn't right for you.

[Needtobeswoledup]

Thx for all the advice guys... I guess I knew I should probably tell her I wasn't ready for marriage and needed some space but it's going to be hard on both of us and she is my best friend and I don't want to lose that... life sucks. lol

[Elliot]

yeah cb is correct and so is everyone posting here. for a girl marrige is easier for a guy since females can commit much easier then males. Don't tell her off you explain to her what your feeling tell her you lost that feeling for her. As cutie said it was lust, every guy thinks hes in "love" when he first meets a girl. then they have sex and the "love" part is over its just "that girl i have sex with".. how old are you btw? in my opinion people shouldnt get married before thier mid to late twenties from the age of 21 to 25 most people go throught a reinvention and change thier total persona so think about it before you utter thoes dreadful words..

p.s. cb so they do teach yousomething in thoes "special" schools

The original anti-denti

[CutieFace]

do yourself a favor and be prepared to lose your "best friend" take 2 very emotionally mature and secure people to be able to maintain a friendship after having been in a relationship or intimate w/ each other....yes it is possible, I've done it myself....but it's rare....

and don't pussy foot around.....end it...clean/fast.....move on....

Cutie

[Elliot]

do yourself a favor and be prepared to lose your "best friend" take 2 very emotionally mature and secure people to be able to maintain a friendship after having been in a relationship or intimate w/ each other....yes it is possible, I've done it myself....but it's rare....

and don't pussy foot around.....end it...clean/fast.....move on....

Cutie

she said pussy foot

[cb25]

do yourself a favor and be prepared to lose your "best friend" take 2 very emotionally mature and secure people to be able to maintain a friendship after having been in a relationship or intimate w/ each other....yes it is possible, I've done it myself....but it's rare....

and don't pussy foot around.....end it...clean/fast.....move on....

Cutie

exactly...just like a band-aid...one quick rip, expose the wound! (seinfeld reference)

and elliot...yea i've learned lots in my special school...ya bigot!

[Elliot]

cb i noticed you quote a lot of lifes theorys from seinfeld.. not that theres anything wrong with that

[mass junkie]

[QUOTE=Needtobeswoledup]How do you know when your in love and have met "the one"? [QUOTE]


When you can take a s-hit with her in the same room

[BabyGirl01]

What I would do if u are not sure about the girlfriend is take some time apart. If u are meant to be withe her you will. Who knows if u two are apart and u go out with friends and u see this new girl and u get to know her. She might be the one that you wil marry. Don't rush anything. Time only makes things work. See I have been with my man for almost 3 yrs. Yeah we have had our ups and down but not once have I lost any feeling towards him at all. Yeah I would love to get married to him but whose to say that he does not want to marry me, you know. Take time apart, enjoy life, you only live once.

BG

[cb25]

cb i noticed you quote a lot of lifes theorys from seinfeld.. not that theres anything wrong with that

exactly...i haven't actually seen it in a long time (probably at least a year)...but i have a good memory for useless info and quotes...

[cb25]

oh yea, and elliot...I don't think i've had an original thought in years...I've had entire conversations based on quotes from movies and shows...

i have a problem

[USfighterFC]

since you're questioning how you feel and you're not sure, it's obvious you're not prepared for marriage let alone to her...

the first 6 months you were not in love, you were in lust, too many people confuse the two.....

say good bye.....don't lead her on any longer (she obviously is thinking you'll marry her)
so move on

Cutie

(yea yea I know sometimes I can be a cold hearted biatch)

You cold hearted f*ck

[USfighterFC]

Hey I'm married to a Russian whore.............nobody has it any worse than me........she's really hot though I have to post some pics on here

[Needtobeswoledup]

I'm 23...the time apart thing sounds like a good idea. I think i'm gonna wait for a little while after valentines day though. I don't think it would be right the week before valentines.

[Elliot]

oh yea, and elliot...I don't think i've had an original thought in years...I've had entire conversations based on quotes from movies and shows...

i have a problem

OMG YOUR LIKE MY LONG LOST TWIN WHERE YOU BEEN !?@#!@#

[Testify]

You'll know when you are ready. The best advice I can give is to be honest with yourself and with your girl. You'll be surprised at how much easier this approach can be if you commit yourself to it. Stop dragging your feet. You'll never find out what's best for yourself if you are afraid to be direct.

[Needtobeswoledup]

Well I went ahead and bit the bullet and told her. She was pretty upset but said she understood and had doubts about us sometime too. Hopefully I'll figure this thing out now. :/

[USfighterFC]

Well that should make things a little clearer cuz now you know where she stands in all of this.

[Needtobeswoledup]

IT's nice to know i'm not the only one feeling that way but she did say that despite those doubts she gets sometimes she still feels like i'm the one for her and wants to marry me... i basically told her that I was unsure of that and needed some time to figure it out.

[Needtobeswoledup]

oh and thx so much every1 that replied to this thread, i really apprecaite it

[USfighterFC]

Perfect answer. Just wait it out bro see how you two really feel about each other before making any moves

[mfenske]

I happen to think I am married to the coolest woman alive. We started as good friends and eventually fell in love with one another. We share many common interests and hobbies. If you really truly enjoy her company on the most ordinary and mundane of daily activities then she is a good partner. If she supports you and is there for you when things are tough she is worth the effort. For me I can't imagine my life without my wife (nor do I want to). If you can honestly see yourself without this girl, move on. Mark

[USfighterFC]

Well my wife's a russian prostitute and I know nothing of compromise and understanding.

[bermich]

since you're questioning how you feel and you're not sure, it's obvious you're not prepared for marriage let alone to her...

the first 6 months you were not in love, you were in lust, too many people confuse the two.....

say good bye.....don't lead her on any longer (she obviously is thinking you'll marry her)
so move on

Cutie

(yea yea I know sometimes I can be a cold hearted biatch)

Thats SO NOT TRUE. EVERYONE questions getting married. Its stupid NOT to question marriage.
You are telling him to say good bye to her just because he has doubts? That is a LAZY ANSWER to give someone.
I dont know anyone who didnt question marriage even slightly.

[Needtobeswoledup]

Actually mfenske you hit it on the head. I enjoy doing daily stuff with her(she makes going to walmart fun) and her support for me is crazy(she wants to pay for me to go to school so i don thave to do both bc she is graduating b4 me). However that part has grown and the sexually and physically attracted and "loving(or lust or whatever) feeling has gone way down. I guess i just have to figure out for myself what that means and if i'm happy with it being this way the rest of my life. It seems most people that have marriages that last started as friends and end up lovers, it seems like this is going the other way around

[bermich]

Spy said it best and that is often how I determine if I really love someone. The lotto theory. If you win 50 million dollars would you still be with that girl.
Some days the answer is different. Sometimes you find yourself looking at other girls. Its common human behavior.
I wish I knew the answer to it.
My answer is short term. I dont look at it in 20 year incriments. NO ONE can do that. NO ONE can promise love forever. There are SO MANY things that could happen that could ruin that promise. Think of it as 5 or 10 year incriments and go from there. If it works out longer than 5 or 10 years then, you made a good decision.