To break up or not to break up ?

[bermich]

whatever retard, When did I ever say that i need one of these threads to make my final decison on what my relationship staus will be?? I know I have poor ass english grammar but for chistos sake i though you would actually read what i was expressing in my life?? I guess not..

am fuking tired of this sheet!! i dont drink, I dont cheat on her, i take her out when I can, and I do tell her how much i care but this girl is a fooking basketcase right now. i dont understand why i have to say **** every day to reassure her of how I feel. She told me she has low self esteme and that why she needs reassurance but damm it! Do I look like Dr. Phil for fuks sake!

Should I bounce or what? I feel I need to bounce and just take care of my own ****. I shouldn't have to worry about her all them time when I have **** of my own to worry about.


Sorry for all my forward remarks and such. Maybe you just posted your concerns in the wrong way. To all of us, it seemed as though you were asking for an answer to the question of should you leave or not.
It didnt seem like you just wanted to talk to us about it rather than hearing our opinions and advice.
It seems that you dont handle advice and opinions well that differ from the ones that you want to hear. This thread got negative real quick based on the opinion that you dont handle criticism well.
Just my observation.

[bermich]

No kidding if anyone insulted my girl i would have same response as abstract unless you were in front of me somthing else would have been done.

!

Well if you brought up her issues in a message forum typing how she is insecure and such, that is insulting her. If you bring up an issue what do you expect to happen? If you were sitting in front of me discussing it, I would tell you exactly what I thought. If you dont like the answer, dont ask the question.

If you think you look fat in a dress, dont ask someone if you look fat in the dress. If you think you look fat then you probably are. Plain and simple

[abstrack]

Alright Ab. Here is my advice and I know it will just bounce right off you but it is the best I can do.

She is not your type and you are not her type. Sure you guys get along and you love her and love the things she does for you. Sure she loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you when you need her and even when you dont need her. BUT....

Now here is where I give the information that you will not deal with which is why I stated my first post.

The point is: You two are TWO DIFFERENT people and you are not (at this time) capable of giving her what she needs. She needs ABSOLUTE attention. Anything short of that will cause her to dive even deeper down into self depression.
You are (in her mind) the only thing that keeps her afloat. She is not trying to swim for herself because she is clinging to you and relying on you SOLELY.

You are not ready to keep two people afloat. You do not have the energy or the time. You might have the aspiration and heart to try but you are not that person.
As much as you dont want it to be true, you two are not made for each other.
You love her but she needs someone else who is like her
She needs someone who is also self conscious and SOLELY dependant on another. Someone else who needs reassurance of love through words and closeness.

Let her go now. It is gonna hurt and she will cling to you for at least a year, but you need to start now.

Sure you can see yourself marrying her but if you have doubts about physically being able to give her what she needs then it is absolute. When in doubt, there is no doubt.


I dont give advice I would not follow. I had the same type of girlfriend for three years off and on. I loved her and she gave me everything I needed (except self freedom)
I broke it off with her one night and it was raining. She curled up in her driveway in a fetal position in pouring rain for an hour. I stayed there for awhile but I knew this was the beginning and she needed to hurt by herself. I left her in the driveway. She was capable of getting up and going inside by herself. It would hurt but it had to happen so she could start over and I could as well.


So Dr Ruth my ass. When you can leave your girlfriend in the driveway in the pouring rain cause that is the RIGHT thing to do then you come and let me know. I doubt you can do that. You might tell her you need time away but she will start crying and you will stay the night and hold her. That is the WRONG thing to do.

If you could have just said things like this in the beginning, was that so hard for you to do? I read through your whole thread and took your words in. Thank you for your reply Bermich

[abstrack]

Well, I gave you my opinion. Tell her you'll say you love her every 5 minutes as long as she supports your "supplements" and does your shots.

Or you can tell her she's fat. Just tell her that's your way of showing affection.

should i tell her she's fat before of after i ask for injections and supps??



By the way she is not fat..........

[abstrack]

OK follow the caps and I am not yelling..

So then why would you ask if you should break up with her? We gave you advice and now you are telling us it has not come down to that.
Now you want to sit down and have a conversation with her. Kinda extreme turn from breaking up to talking about certain issues. NOT SAYING THAT AT ALL, i AM ASKING FOR ADVICE SO I CAN SORT THROUGH THINGS IN MY MIND, THERE IS ALOT OF THINGS I DID NOT EVEN BEGIN TO THINK OF BECAUSE I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THIS AFERNOON. THERE WER ALOT OF GOOD POINTS INCLUDING YOUR LONG THREAD THAT ARE MAKING THINK AND NOT REACTING DRASTICALLY.


Or do you just want us to pat you on the back and help by telling you everything will be ok.

YOU'RE RIGHT, A PAT ON THE BACK IS ALL I NEEDED. THANKS!

[bermich]

OK follow the caps and I am not yelling..



YOU'RE RIGHT, A PAT ON THE BACK IS ALL I NEEDED. THANKS!

LOL. You just should have said that needed hug due to relationship problems. Ya know the shake the hand and pat the guy on the back at the same time sorta hug.

[abstrack]

am fuking tired of this sheet!! i dont drink, I dont cheat on her, i take her out when I can, and I do tell her how much i care but this girl is a fooking basketcase right now. i dont understand why i have to say **** every day to reassure her of how I feel. She told me she has low self esteme and that why she needs reassurance but damm it! Do I look like Dr. Phil for fuks sake!

Should I bounce or what? I feel I need to bounce and just take care of my own ****. I shouldn't have to worry about her all them time when I have **** of my own to worry about.


Sorry for all my forward remarks and such. Maybe you just posted your concerns in the wrong way. To all of us, it seemed as though you were asking for an answer to the question of should you leave or not.
It didnt seem like you just wanted to talk to us about it rather than hearing our opinions and advice.
It seems that you dont handle advice and opinions well that differ from the ones that you want to hear. This thread got negative real quick based on the opinion that you dont handle criticism well.
Just my observation.

no no no, i can take critism with the best of them. Ther is a politically correct way of addressing someone and there is another way of addressing somone. Your first post starts off with this is so LAME. If it is lame to you than pass it by with out further remarks.

Your other post wher you told me of you breaking up with your girl ona raining night. Whole different story there, lots of great advice coming from you there! You really made me think along with some of the things CB, TT, SPY and the other bros had to say.

[abstrack]

LOL. You just should have said that needed hug due to relationship problems. Ya know the shake the hand and pat the guy on the back at the same time sorta hug.

:spudniksw


Maybe we can just reply with smilies, lol

[QbHunter]

jkmpcu.....

[Carlos_E]

should i tell her she's fat before of after i ask for injections and supps??



By the way she is not fat..........

You know I'm joking. I'm sure she's beautiful or you wouldn't put up with her ****. I just have a feeling you're in 2 different places and she wants more than you can give. OR you're afraid of expressing your emotions and afraid of commitment.

OK, now you owe me money. I don't give advice for free. $150 and hour, 1 hour minimum. Please mail cashiers check to....

[abstrack]

You know I'm joking. I'm sure she's beautiful or you wouldn't put up with her ****. I just have a feeling you're in 2 different places and she wants more than you can give. OR you're afraid of expressing your emotions and afraid of commitment.

OK, now you owe me money. I don't give advice for free. $150 and hour, 1 hour minimum. Please mail cashiers check to....

[chicamahomico]

You know I'm joking. I'm sure she's beautiful or you wouldn't put up with her ****. I just have a feeling you're in 2 different places and she wants more than you can give. OR you're afraid of expressing your emotions and afraid of commitment.

OK, now you owe me money. I don't give advice for free. $150 and hour, 1 hour minimum. Please mail cashiers check to....

chicamahomico......who takes care of accounts receivable for all of AR's biggest post whores

My advice bro, play her game for a while see how things work out. My guess is that it will die off in a fairly short time.

[QbHunter]

whatever retard, When did I ever say that i need one of these threads to make my final decison on what my relationship staus will be?? I know I have poor ass english grammar but for chistos sake i though you would actually read what i was expressing in my life?? I guess not..

Get attention?? You're RIGHT! i need all the attention in the world especially from you! After this i am going to make a thread to the whole A.R. community and say that I dont feel wanted and Abstrack is not going to post any more because i dont feel wanted and not many members are paying attention to me Will you please make sure you say something in my thread because i need the extra bit of attention. PLEEEEASE!!!!!

i aked for opinion on a sitution and advice on a situation and some gave it and some didnt but thats the way the ball bounces. Sometimes you need the extra people in your life to get you to think about the stuff that is so clouded in confusion. Well someone like you with such intelligence and compassion probably doesnt need to ask for advice like a inferior human such as myself.

well well, touchy touchy...is sum one on PCT??? on you.

[hoss827]

I'ts the clomid...He's moody.

[TheOak182]

I am not sure if I want to break up with me girl or not? She is a real great gal! She is caring, giving, real supportive, trust worthy, everything you could really ask for but there is just a few things that bug the **** out of me.

For one, she is constantly saying I love you, how much she cares, she wants to marry me, she wants to have babies, etc.. I appreciate all the kind words but everytime she says it, she expects me to say it in return. She is wearing me out over this ****. Right now she is crying her ass off because we had another discussion about how I need to express how much I appreciate her on a daily basis because she needs to know it from me. I left her apt. last night because she wasacting like a freak again with all this ****. I told her that i was not like that and I really dont say that **** all the time.

The thing is, it is not god enough for her. She wants me to say it everyday so it can reassure her of my feelings. She wrote me this email this morning and gave me the option of calling her at noon if I wanted to and if i didnt want to it would be no big deal. Well i having been installing a oudoor ceiling fan today and running wire and I didnt have time to. She called at noon and asked why i did not call and I told her I though it was a option. Next things you know she is turing the situation around into "I dont care about her bull****!!"

I am fuking tired of this sheet!! i dont drink, I dont cheat on her, i take her out when I can, and I do tell her how much i care but this girl is a fooking basketcase right now. i dont understand why i have to say **** every day to reassure her of how I feel. She told me she has low self esteme and that why she needs reassurance but damm it! Do I look like Dr. Phil for fuks sake!

Should I bounce or what? I feel I need to bounce and just take care of my own ****. I shouldn't have to worry about her all them time when I have **** of my own to worry about.

DROP HER LIKE A BAD HABIT!!! I just learned in my psychology class that there are 5 ways people express "love"
1. Words of affirmation (I love you, etc.)
2. Quality Time (Actually hanging out, movies, etc.)
3. Acts of Kindness (Breakfest in bed, changing oil, etc.)
4. Gifts (Flowers, etc)
5. Physical Touch (PDA, sex, kissing, etc.)

Obviously your girl, is heavy into 1. you might be 5. so you guys conflict. So basically you need to change the way you express your feelings or move on!!!

[bermich]

DROP HER LIKE A BAD HABIT!!! I just learned in my psychology class that there are 5 ways people express "love"
1. Words of affirmation (I love you, etc.)
2. Quality Time (Actually hanging out, movies, etc.)
3. Acts of Kindness (Breakfest in bed, changing oil, etc.)
4. Gifts (Flowers, etc)
5. Physical Touch (PDA, sex, kissing, etc.)

Obviously your girl, is heavy into 1. you might be 5. so you guys conflict. So basically you need to change the way you express your feelings or move on!!!

Yeah. I learned that too in my syke. Never agreed with it. Syke guidelines is like horoscopes. So vague that each month could relate to anyone. The five ways of expressing love could relate to ANYTHING.
Ever read the horoscopes in the paper? Ask someone their sign and then read a month that is not theirs but say it is. That person will say that it fits them to a T even though it isnt their month.

Although: Human behavior classes were always interesting and always got to the point without Frueds parent-love, penis envy theories.
Thats a whole other thread.

[abstrack]

Yeah, but look who fired first..Look who was holding the gun before Hoss was..

this is a dead horse but just for the record. I never once in any of your threads came across to you in bad manner concerning your girl! The only advice I ever gave you concerning your girl and you was that she needed a doctors help and that you could not help her because you dont have the medical knowledge or background, let alone the ability to diagnose and prescribe medications to help her.

[allsaucedup]

bro i am sure there are alot of guys on this board that wish that this was the only problem they had in there love life. Personally i would love to have this problem, my last 2 g/f's were cheaters. You know that telling her you care or saying i love you makes her feel good why would you not want to make someone you love feel good. This is not worth breaking up with her over. You need to talk to her come to a happy medium.

[BabyGirl01]

Would you like a girls opinion????? well your gonna get it anyways...to break it down easily.. girls are different from boys.. we need to hear I LOVE YOU... if youre not comfortable with saying it that many times a day she needs to know that, but she also needs to be accepting of the fact that you dont like to say it....

you say shes a great girl and all, then you need to show her that, and it doesnt only have to be done by saying I LOVE YOU.. there are many little ways of showing her, email her in the middle of the day saying it, or text message her telling her you had a great time (insert activity here) last night, or that you cant wait to see her tonight..

if its saying the words that freaks you out, make up your own way of saying it.. For example, my boyfriend doesnt say I LOVE YOU infront of his friends, which is no big deal, if I say it when they are around he just says "DITTO" (Yes, copied from GHOST if any of yall caught that)

Bottom line is.. yall need to communicate.. if you talk it out and this is something she needs that you cant give her let her go, it'll be best for both of ya'll, but if it's something you feel can be worked out and comprimised, then go for it.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

I completely agree with ttu princess. Yeah me and my man have been going out for almost 3 yrs now. I love to here him say I love you. It like lightens up my day. Its just the fact to know that he still cares. He does not say it all the time. but I understand that, that is not the way that he is at all. .But its really the little things that really count. Like she said email or text message her and tell her little things to know that u still care about her.


BG

[hoss827]

this is a dead horse but just for the record. I never once in any of your threads came across to you in bad manner concerning your girl! The only advice I ever gave you concerning your girl and you was that she needed a doctors help and that you could not help her because you dont have the medical knowledge or background, let alone the ability to diagnose and prescribe medications to help her.

You could have said that instead of what you put...but whatever.

[Carlos_E]

You could have said that instead of what you put...but whatever.

Hoss, don't you have home work to do?

[Devourer]

Hoss, don't you have home work to do?

hoss dropped out of school to try and bring his post count up...

[hoss827]

hoss dropped out of school to try and bring his post count up...

Yeah, didn't you guys here?

[Carlos_E]

hoss dropped out of school to try and bring his post count up...

figures

[hoss827]

figures

Yeah, off to the Marine Corps I go., then college after I get the G.I bill