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Thread: Bathroom Jokes

  1. #1
    daman1's Avatar
    daman1 is offline Diet Specialist
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    beatin it up...

    Bathroom Jokes

    One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing
    home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next
    morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set
    her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She
    seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in
    her chair.
    Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten
    her up.

    Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the
    other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.
    This goes on all morning.

    Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to
    her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all
    right?" they ask.

    "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

    A drunken man staggered in to a Catholic church and sat down in a
    confession box, saying nothing.
    The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the
    man said nothing.

    The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to
    get the man to speak.

    Finally, the drunk replied, "No use knockin', mate, there's no paper
    in this one either."

    70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came
    back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks
    great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at
    peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your
    George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight,
    so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go
    to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the
    light goes off when I'm done."

    "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

    A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he
    said,"George is just fine. Physically he's great. But, I had to call
    because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up
    during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then
    (poof!) the light goes off?"

    Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator

    There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they
    were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold
    it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could
    agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they
    decided to determine who indeed had the coldest igloo.
    They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch
    this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water
    froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad",
    said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was
    colder still.

    So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch
    this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath
    froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's
    colder than mine!" said the first Eskimo.

    But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they
    ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!"
    and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and
    retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it,
    put it in a spoon, and held a match under it.

    A little OLD lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this
    with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and
    are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times
    since I've been here in your office.
    You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent.

    The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next

    The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what
    the hell you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink

    The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's
    work on your hearing."

  2. #2
    Vidooch's Avatar
    Vidooch is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    hahahahahaha. bro those jokes were funny as hell. had me laughing out loud in class

  3. #3
    Terinox's Avatar
    Terinox is offline The One & Only
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    Nov 2001

    Great jokes bro! Very funny!!

  4. #4
    Tock's Avatar
    Tock is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Fort Worth
    The only one I know is from a fortune cookie:

    Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

    Silly, but still registers on my humor radar . . .

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