Thread: Green Peas and Birth Control
03-12-2004, 09:56 PM #1
Green Peas and Birth Control
He waddled toward me, testicles swinging to and fro, a pendulum of corpulence; and I was hypnotized. He stopped only to reach for his satchel of mauve Martha Stewart bath towels. Tufts of hair sprouted from his palms, but his bedspread was impeccable, and of this I was sure. His actions were ominous. As he bent over, rolls of fat tumultuously radiating, his actions labored and trodden, I stared at the tuft of steam in the distance. The familiar chug of the locomotive drew nearer, my eyes widening in unbearable pain. I was split, my crown of tears defining my juxtapositions. I won't be the cause of pain, I won't. It haunts me in my dreams. As the train drew nearer I wished him goodbye, to He who I always loved, to He which my chattels of deception were so criminally directed. His cherubic figure ripped apart, as his exposed rectum exploded into a shrapnel storm of feces and smegma. I smiled the smile of a thousand schoolboys.
R.I.P Mass Junkie
03-12-2004, 10:10 PM #2
At first I thought this thread was about your corpulent roommate.
03-13-2004, 11:25 AM #3
Wait, I think I get it.....the locomotive is an allegory for capitalism and the struggle of the proles, right? Ayn Rand parroting mother****er.
03-13-2004, 12:15 PM #4
We like the moon!
But not as much as cheese!
03-13-2004, 02:24 PM #5Originally Posted by BigGreen
03-13-2004, 02:52 PM #6Originally Posted by rambo
03-13-2004, 04:06 PM #7Originally Posted by rambo
"Mass", ie, "the masses", aka the working class - the commoners.
"rear ended" - certainly a colorful term indicating to get screwed or 'worked over', a deft use of language (the metonymical use of the proles' own slang in your treatise about them...clever clever) that I certainly admire.
"train" - the quintessential iconography of the "robber barons"...thus completing the little allegory.
So, in conclusion and translations: "It's the have-nots getting screwed over by the haves"
03-13-2004, 05:02 PM #8
I like Red Ketchups answer the best.
03-13-2004, 05:49 PM #9Originally Posted by BigGreen
03-13-2004, 06:44 PM #10Originally Posted by rambo
03-13-2004, 07:31 PM #11
It's been an hour, and I still, for the life of me, do not know how Big Green knew what the **** I was talking about.
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