Since We Have A Lot Of Canadians On The Board
An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
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Q: What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?
A: A canoe will tip.
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Q: Why do Canadians screw doggy-style?
A: So both can watch the hockey game.
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Q: What does a Goal Keeper and a Canadian girl have in common?
A: Both change their pads after three periods...
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Q: How many Canadians does it take to make a chocolate chip cookie?
A: Two. One to hold the cookie, and one to squeeze the rabbit.
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Q: What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
A: The taste.
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One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!"
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I'm bored :(
