Since We Have A Lot Of Canadians On The Board

**PuddleMonkey** · 03-24-2004, 03:55 AM

An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
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Q: What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?
A: A canoe will tip.
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Q: Why do Canadians screw doggy-style?
A: So both can watch the hockey game.
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Q: What does a Goal Keeper and a Canadian girl have in common?
A: Both change their pads after three periods...
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Q: How many Canadians does it take to make a chocolate chip cookie?
A: Two. One to hold the cookie, and one to squeeze the rabbit.
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Q: What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
A: The taste.
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One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!"
---------------------------------

I'm bored

**jeffylyte** · 03-24-2004, 06:35 AM

now thats funny!

**Elliot** · 03-24-2004, 07:58 AM

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!"

bahahhahahhahahaahhahah

**PuddleMonkey** · 03-24-2004, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by animal-inside

I boycott puddleofpissmonkey

whadidido?!?!!?

**jon rock** · 03-24-2004, 01:58 PM

I second the boycott

**mass junkie** · 03-24-2004, 02:01 PM

why dont you guys like piss monkey?

**zx7racing** · 03-24-2004, 02:04 PM

those were funny as hell!!

**decadbal** · 03-24-2004, 02:30 PM

a canadian who can drink beer better than an american....now thats what i call humor

**Money Boss Hustla** · 03-24-2004, 02:46 PM

F*ck you all!! You can go and drink your girly beer!

**GeoQuadzilla** · 03-24-2004, 03:00 PM

LOL that was pretty funny, I like Why do Canadians screw doggy style hahaha... It's funny Cause it's true... Well for that one anyway

**PuddleMonkey** · 03-24-2004, 03:04 PM

**Red Ketchup** · 03-24-2004, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla

F*ck you all!! You can go and drink your girly beer!

Well, you know what they say about American Beer being just like having sex in a canoe...

They're both fücking close to water!

Red

**THE BIG RED MACHINE** · 03-24-2004, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by decadbal

a canadian who can drink beer better than an american....now thats what i call humor

Please tell me you're kidding. Easy to say based on volume considering it takes 5 of yours to equal 3 of ours. The only reason you're able to put so many back is because you have to. Silly American.

Don't make me start a Red Neck thread!!!