04-12-2004, 02:30 PM #1
Strange people and weird sh!t you see in the gym
I recently came across an old thread from 2001 titled "Strange people and weird sh!t you see in the gym." I spent about 20 minutes straight laughing.
Everything from skinny 130lb. guys with sunglasses and wristbands where they're biceps should have been to stinky fellas to wanna be thugs with tons of gold chains,etc. There was even one where this kid came in and hangs upside down like a bat for about 20 mins.
Anyway I just thought they were hilarious and want to hear more about the freaks, geeks, and plain out weird exercise habits ppl have.
That was 3 yrs ago, so I think we need an update......
04-12-2004, 02:56 PM #2Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
oh **** we have mad names for people at my gymOriginally Posted by roccoswello
**** it's like a carnival act here!!!all rich ****s doing dumb ****!no one at my gym has a real name...only nicknames!
there is :
"Uncle 10 Plates" uncle 10 plates is a 45 year old wanna be men's health guy. he benches 135, but wait, uncle can't use two 45's! no uncle plates must use ****ing four 10's and a 5 on each side. when he goes up to 225 it is a sight. i swear this **** kills me.
"manhater" sshe only talks to me and will not look at any other guy in the gym.if she does it's with a roll of her eyes.weirdo!
"the outsider" the outsider has no car. she walks to the gym. from where i have no ****ign clue, btu she appears and then walks god knows where when she leaves?
"produce clerk" he is some 5'2 nothing who works at the local supermarket and ,as god is my witness, married this smoking polish girl who speaks no english. they met when she was an exchange student at the local foodtown.unbelievable
"205" yup that's her weight and she can press it on the leg press as well. as she likes to tell everyone she is strong!!
"mr. fitness" he never comes in , but like once every three months.he will then proceed to tell you how much he works out at home.he's 6'2" like 150.
"Hardest" hardest commands respect. this 79 year old fossil rides on the stationary bike at about 2.1 miles an hour and is about 1/4 from falling off the bike everyday and he pants, sweats, and moans like he's in the trauma ward.he then does his "circuit" of db curls and decline situps. this combination is yielding nothing, but a step closer to heart failure as his HR is still skyrocketing from the stationary bike as he performs these movements.
i could go on all day, but you can see the fools i have to deal w/
04-12-2004, 06:37 PM #3Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
"Roid Rage " this guy is probably like 55 or 60 years old, and wears a skin tight t shirt, he is not that fat but kind of soft. he is extremely proud of his last set of 155 for 10 every single day on the smith machine. and then he check to see if anyone is looking, he always misses me, then he pushes his sleeve up farther than it is and than admires himself for about 5 minutes. he is on testosterone replacement
We got "dyper dude" he is about 70 years old. He wears tighty whities, high socks and a yellow pitted under shirt, he doesnt really do anything but walk around, occasionally he will do the abb machine
"thug nation" these kid are total dip shi$s. Their apparal is "G'd up". under armar, master P basketball outfits, chains, and namebrand wrist things on their arms and ankles, they always take up 1 of the 4 free weight bench presses. All 4 of them use the same weight as each ohter, ending at 135 for 12, and they are all 18 years old, after that, it is on to the wanna be curls to increase their arms to 12.9 inches, than they join "roid rage" at the mirror
just to name a few
04-12-2004, 08:54 PM #4
Those are great bros. Come on everybody I know you've got some stories there are at least a handfull of these crazy ppl in every gym.
We have this one guy who's got to be pushing 300lbs w/ about 30 - 35 % body fat. You know he swears up and down, he used to be the man. He'll come in with his 1980's MC Hammer pants and coke bottle glasses. As soon as he sees a new female come in he becomes trainer of the year. Touching them on the back or in the particular muscle area, explaining exactly what they need to do in order to produce a freakishly grotesque physique just like his. lol
04-12-2004, 09:03 PM #5Female Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
how about the gym police....the one who insitsts on telling each and everyone whos not using perfect form that their lifts need work...reminds me of Barney and the citizen's arrest...episode from Andy Griffith...
04-12-2004, 09:04 PM #6
I still like the 165 Mr. Olimpia who walks like he's the baddest beast!!! Logging on his progress on his secret notebook. once in awhile when no one is looking he'l fix his hair or raise one of his sleeves just before a female passes. then hel tel some guy double his size that he doesnt adhere to any particular program and hes proud of his own.
This same guy refuses the help of spotters since he is a real MAN and spotting is beneath him yet he offers to spot roid rage or buff bimbo on the side. He walks around without a shirt all flexed up when there are skinnier guys in the locker room but commences to change when bigger, cutter guys walk in.
Oh man i think i just described me LOL..... and did i forget to mention spandex grandma?
04-12-2004, 09:09 PM #7
No word of a lie...this happened today!
Working out as usual...but noticed these monster boobs on some chick on an eliptical trainer. They were sooo big and fake! Anyway, I finished my work out and started walking towards the men's locker room...I had to pass by the trainers so I took a look. It was a freakin' dude! It was a freakin' shemale! Red thinning hair (bald spot on the back)...total man features...but had monster fake boobs. Haha!
Ugly! Looks like she/he was the goalie for a lawn dart team!
04-12-2004, 09:11 PM #8
hmm lets see
2)lift up shirts
3)walks around like his bad
dam sounds like me
04-12-2004, 09:32 PM #9
this old cracker at my gym constantly hitting on dudes by trying to feel on them and always full of compliments. "hey u got any abs, let me feel em"......... "wow, what a massive chest, let me feel it"......oh god, look at those arms, let me feel em"......hey, r you doing squats today, let me know if u need a spot"......"good morning, need a spot let me know, i'll be here in the locker room...
I think the only reason he even goes to the gym is to stare at the naked dudes in a locker room washing their sacks in a shower. One time i was liftin in the morning and went back in the evening to do cardio, the guy was still there, yep, u guessed it......in the locker room.
04-12-2004, 09:36 PM #10Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla
04-12-2004, 09:37 PM #11Originally Posted by Sage
Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris: It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.
Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?
Chris: Well, sure.
Old Man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.
Chris: No, thanks. I gotta get going.
Old Man: Don't make me beg now.
Chris: You're funny. Bye.
Old Man: Get your fat ass back here.
04-12-2004, 09:38 PM #12Originally Posted by Mr. Death
04-12-2004, 10:02 PM #13Ugly! Looks like she/he was the goalie for a lawn dart team!
I like the guys that wear FUBU, black jeans, pocket chains and a hat balancing on their heads.
And of course anyone wearing Zubaz automatically kicks ass!
04-12-2004, 10:07 PM #14
The "Heard" This is the group of 6 monsters that all lift with each other and carry gym bags full of clothes, magazines, supplements and who knows what else in there, nice guys, big mofos too..
We also have "Hollywood", Big guy with tiny legs and big upper body, kind alooks like johnny bravo, always looks in the mirror to fix his hair after every set and claims he is gonna be leaving for acting school some day...
We also have "Amazon" 6'4 inch 230lb woman, enough said.
We have "Doc" he is is the dude that knocks ya out before surgery.
The "Giggle box gang" This is a group of highschool girls that some in to do cardio and stare at the guys and giggle every 2 sec about something, i feel like strangling these girls...
And we also have the classic 125lb ronnie coleman, the group of rich snotty old women, and groups of people that dont even speak english.
To some people i am known as the crazy that ran across the gym and clear out the door screaming and cursing with a huge screwdriver in one hand and a 10lbs plate because a guy was attempting to break into my car... But most people know me as phil...
04-12-2004, 10:31 PM #15Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla
04-12-2004, 11:29 PM #16
No lie, we actually have this one moron at our gym, I think he's like 18. He's a highschool wrestler so he only uses our gym once in a while. Well the other day he shows up with his hat all cocked to one side (wanna be thug) and everyone has to stop and stare. Why? Right behind him in full workout gear are his 2 little brothers. If I had to guess Id say the older one was like 11 and the younger one maybe 8 or 9. So you think what a jack off, but maybe he's just giving them an early intro....
This genius has the kid on the bench w/ 45 lb. bar + a 35lb. plate on each side. He didn't even weigh 115 much less bench it. Now the older brother is yelling come on come on push as the kid barely holds this bar from crushing him. Finally the 18 yr old grabs it and racks it back, telling him "your a pu$$y, you didn't even try."
God I just wanted to go over and smack the $hit out of him. The worst part when they were done they go wait outside for the mom to come pick them up. Hell of parenting skillz lady......
04-13-2004, 09:36 PM #17
I used to see all that stuff at the straight gyms I went to . . . but now that you mention it, all I've ever seen is one guy who comes in maybe once a month with a cup of coffee and spreads the newpaper all over the flat benches to read. I've had to ask him to move the paper, um, twice, and aside from that, it's a great gym. It's never crowded. $400 a year. Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a week, it doesn't close for nothin'.
Guess I got it pretty good . . .
04-14-2004, 12:02 AM #18
"Sinead O'Connor" - she is like 6'0" and has buzzed hair. Amazing body though and she wears spandex... you can see her camel toe all the time..... her twat looked like it was gonna explode out one time when she was stretching.
"The Weak Biker" - this guy looks tough as nails, bald head, goatee... typical scary looking dude, large build. Well once I had to bail him out while he dropped 135lbs on himself on the flat bench... I think all the chicks who saw it were laughing. Last time I heard the guy was on gear... he must've been ashamed.
04-14-2004, 12:09 AM #19
Yeah those newspaper guys really gripe my a$$. We had one today. He gets all set up you know with his notebook and his plates in place then sits down on the bench and starts reading the **** paper. Hello? Theres tables like 10 feet away. Then he continues to read in between each set. If you say something he'll be like "oh uh yeah I've only got 2 more sets"
04-14-2004, 01:01 AM #20alevok Guest
This old lady 50+ goes in the sauna every 10 min, stays there about ten sec and gets out, we wondered wtf was going on, when we entered the sauna after she left we saw 2 potatoes placed on the stove! She was trying to bake potatoes in the sauna, what a weirdo.
04-14-2004, 01:16 PM #21Originally Posted by alevok
04-14-2004, 06:18 PM #22
dude honestly i could go on for ever,
old dirt ball - this dude is like 65 years old, and i think lives on winni, he comes into the gym and hangs on one of the pull up bars and swings around and hangs up side down for like 5 minutes. its such a joke, then he hits on ever girl and tells them what they need to work on. then youll love this part, he also is the loudest guy in the gym. you swear he's having a baby the way he yells and grunts when he's putting up his crazy 205 on bench. i honestly hate this guy with a passion
the cop - this guy is a big dude, but now shape at all, just a big ball of mass. he's the guy that never does a full rep. he loads up the bar with tons of weight to do shrugs but his shoulders never move more then a inch. then on lat pull downs he adds all the weight possible and swings his full body all the way back to make the lat pull down to a full on row, so much that he looks like he's upside down when finishing the rep. then he tells everyone how crazy strong he is. lol he is a cool guy but his lifting sucks, id love to see the weight he could with even half normal form
we got the normal annoying kids that think they are all hard and rack up the dead lift bar with 225 and think they are nuts. wall around with there lats all flared and chest all out lol. quite funny
**** i could go on forever but im just gonna leave it like that for now. dont even get me started on the fat out of shape trainers at my gym lol. there's about 2 that know whats up and the rest are soooo out of shape its disgusting
04-14-2004, 06:36 PM #23
The GOD D@MN ELDERLY!!! If I had a bunch of cash I would open my own gym and ban the 99.9% of the following from joining:
1. Elderly (there is one couple who'd be an exception he's gotta be at least 55 and totally jacked and she's in great shape too)
2. Teenagers (see also wanna-be's, bench and bicep crew, and female cardio bunnies)
3. Anyone wearing a lifting belt when they enter the door. There is one guy at my gym who is a total Guido-arsehole who always wears a belt and NEVER puts anything away.
4. Soccer moms. Much like the elderly they just take up space and seem to do exercises that work some unknown muscle group.
5. The smoker. Yuck. I hate the ones that come in smelling like an ashtray. Quit smoking, then come back.
6. The Bar-builder. Anyone seen doing back and biceps more than twice in any given week without doing a set of squats is banned, permanently.
But, I don't have a lot of cash so until then I guess I can just loathe them. Mark
04-14-2004, 06:49 PM #24
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, lets see. well the gym i use now at school is ok there is a group of guys about 5 or 6 that sit there with all there chalk and jugs of water sitting by all the squatting racks, all huge and cool.
the there is this guy i like to call "tits" I hate this kid more then anything and one day i am going to walk up to him and punhc him in the face with out saying a word first off every rep he lets this blood curtling scream, with his whopping 55db bench, after that he gets up walking all around fast pace like he is real pumped up and a major hard a$$. he lays down again grapping 65s and trys to bench it getting only the right arm up he doesn't want to look stupid so he tries to play it off by pushing it up on more time with that blood curtling scream and then throws the wait to the floor. oh i call him tits because he had these tits, not like gyno or what not he just has tits i would say like a girl that just hitting puberty little bitch tits. he always wears thes daygo t's itch makes them that much worse, showing off his massive 10 inch guns that have no deffinition just arms. uses chalk for everything he does i don''t mean a little chalk but he coats his hands every time and then he gets chalk all over everything, when he uses a bench he gets chalk on every wieght that is there and the bar has enough chalk i could whip it off and use it for a good week if i needed it. I can wait till i punch this dumba$$ in the face
04-14-2004, 07:06 PM #25
I work out at 24 hr fitness, and Im sure that we can all guess what that is like. The only thing that bugs the bejesus out of me is the personal trainers that have chicken legs, beer guts, wear weight belts, and fondle all the women, THEN come over and tell me that I dont have good form!
ARGH, makes we want to beat someone with a 45LBer.
04-14-2004, 07:17 PM #26Associate Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
My favorite is the guy who gets on the leg press and loads up 10 plates then only lowers the sled 1 inch on his reps.
The kicker is that this a-hole does this right b4 I want to use the machine and then doesn't unload the plates and disappears.
04-14-2004, 10:49 PM #27
The Clubbers- These are the Jackoffs that have a gym outfit. Usually consists of "Deisel Jeans" and an "A/X" t-shirt, oh and their sneakers match the color of their shirt.
04-14-2004, 11:05 PM #28
These are gold Jerry! Gold!
Keep em comin pleasee!
04-14-2004, 11:36 PM #29
Zero Gains- This guy is like 6' and weighs 150lbs. He works out with a spotter of respectable size. The reason why his spotter is bigger is because he gets a double work out. Zero gains needs a spot on everything, but his spotter pulls 90% of the weight being lifted. Despite this Zero gains grunts and screams when completing a set.
Zero gains is called Zero gains because he never gains size or strenght due to his "training" style.
04-14-2004, 11:43 PM #30
i see people complaining about skinny little guys who work out at the gym, just outta curiosity why do you guys hate them? i mean those guys were you back in the day when u first started right?
04-14-2004, 11:46 PM #31Originally Posted by LilVito469
04-14-2004, 11:49 PM #32Originally Posted by RP7
04-15-2004, 01:17 AM #33
The winer: " I can do reps with that til I messed my shoulder up" " I dont deadlift because it hurts my back" " I can't squat because my knees are ****ed up" and I reply ive been here on and on for 5 years and your knees have always been ****ed up man i'd get that **** checked out...
The next weeker: "I'll get that **** next week.." even though its at least 20 pounds more then he has a chance in hell to do..and next week you see him with the bar laying on his chest again saying "next week"
04-15-2004, 01:54 AM #34Originally Posted by HardcoreGymWARRIOR04
04-15-2004, 01:54 AM #35alevok Guest
ok, this guy's nickname is Mosquito, 5'2'' 120lb, when on gear he is 154, very massive according to him.
Anyways one day he is doing preacher curl with 110lb which is pretty good for his size. The preacher curl is placed right in front of resting area and at that time there were two girls sitting there and watching him lifting and all impressed with his lift for a small guy, he notices that they are watching him then adds another 45lb, at his firt try the weights pull him down and he flips over the preacher curl and falls with the weight head down, feet up,...with a wtf expression on his face....one of the funniest moment for us but the dumbest for him...
04-15-2004, 10:24 AM #36Originally Posted by LilVito469
04-15-2004, 10:34 AM #37
you guys forgot about the the 35-40 year old guy who has head phones on and plays air guitar in between sets
04-15-2004, 10:43 AM #38Originally Posted by roccoswello
I don't have anything against giving a kid an early start (I think we all wish we'd had that chance), as long as it's done in moderation and the kid sees it a fun PLAY. It has to be a game for the kid, not a bad experience.
I occasionally take my boy (10) to the gym and we have a VERY good time... but everything is done for fun. If he doesn't like something, we don't do it. He likes lifting (light of course) and "spotting" me
04-15-2004, 02:35 PM #39Junior Member
Originally Posted by alevok
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
Best one so far, i laughed my azz off
I did forget one guy
"Zero gains #2" This guy goes to the gym 4 days a week and is very dedicated. He only works out 1 muscle. Of all muscles, it is his forearms and wrists. Honostly, i dont know what to think of this
04-15-2004, 03:02 PM #40Originally Posted by Powrlftr
you can't do 10 plates on leg press?
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