A Little Help.....

A little help from Stretch and Ranger with dating Gym Bunnies....Enjoy...

I must say, Stretch and I have had our fill of dating local Gym Bunnies. They have to be the hardest creatues on earth to understand, why God put them here is still beyond the both of us. They've even started calling us " Milk-men " simply because each one that we date, puts an expiration date on the realtionship.

So, Stretch and I have decided to help our fellow Iron Brothers from making the same mistakes we have made. If our advice contained in this top secret report helps one failing realtionship, we have achieved our ultimate goal.

Ranger and Stretch's Guide To Dating Gym Bunnies:

The Top 30:

1. All Iron Brother's only see in 12 different colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color!

2. If you don't dress in Spandex at the gym, or something from Victoria's Secrets when we go out, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys!

3. If you think you're holding to much fat pre-contest, you probally are. Don't ask us. Guys, never answer this question! Change the subject by asking them about Peach Colored shirts.

4. Birthday's, Anniversaries, and Valentines Day are not a quest for us to find the perfect gift. Our wisdom has taught us that lifting gloves, and chalk do not qualify as " perfect " gifts!

5. If you ask a question about training and diet you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you really don't want to hear!

6. When we lift, we're not thinking about you. Live with it! If you ask us what we're thinking, expect answers about max reps, myoplex, nitro-tech, and what Ronnie Coleman does for back day.

7. Sunday=Sports!! Let this one be.

8. Shopping for new Aerobic shoes does not count as a sport. It never will, and we refuse to think of it that way.

9. Other than the gym, if we have to go somewhere. Anything you wear will be fine....Really!

10. Crying about weight gain is blackmail!

11. Ask for what you want: Lets be very clear on this one, subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just spit it out!

12. No, we don't know what day it is. Unless it's arms and chest day, leg day, deadlift day...etc. Mark all important dates on the calendar.

13. Peeing while standing up after heavy deadlifts is difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Deal with it!

14. Most Iron Brothers own 3 pair of shoes. We cannot pick one pair out of thirty that will look good in your Pilates Class. Don't ever ask that again.

15. Yes, and No are excellent answers to all our questions.

16. Come to us with a problem only if you want our help in solving it. Sympathy is what other Gym Bunnies are for!

17. Headaches and sore muscles from Areobics Class that last 12 months is a major problem. Go see a doctor.

18. Foreign love films are best left to foreign countries. Unless it has Arnold in it, or war, and Bruce Lee movies are an exception as well.

19. Love Quiz's...It's in neither your best interest, or ours to take one of these together!

20. Anything we said 6 months ago does not count in an argument. All comments made after heavy deadlift day become null and void in 24 hours.

21. We're going to ogle other Spandex wearing Gum Bunnies, let us do it. We cannot help this act, it's genetic, and there is no known cure for this.

22. Please respect our quite moments. Say whatever you have to say during commercial breaks....We thank you on this one.

23. Chalk is as exciting to us, as matching sport tops are to you.

24. If we ask what's wrong, and you say nothing. We will act like nothing is wrong and continue our workout.

25. We know when you tell a little white lie about your weight and body fat percentage...it's just not worth the hassel.

26. We grunt. It's what we do, if the door is closed and we're grunting...don't knock!

27. You have plenty of workout clothes, and too many shoes, don't tell us you have nothing to wear.

28. We compare ourselves to other Iron Brothers, the same way you compare yourself to other Gym Bunnies. We go up and ask advice from them, you pick their bones clean.

29. Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio are not ripped. We hate to burst this fantasy...Deal with it!

30. Extra protein we take in has certain side effects. We cannot always be discreet. Practice holding your breath, this will also benefit you in areobics class. So in a way, we're doing this to help you.

It is Stretch and Ranger's wishes that this be cut out, and placed where every Gym Bunny can see it. It could, one day, help all our Iron Brothers in realtionship issues.

Stretch and I thank you,

Ranger