Farting

**manc** · 10-11-2005, 05:49 PM

Mrs says im in the spare room if it carries on,im farting every ten mins..am i alone?

**STRANGE** · 10-11-2005, 05:56 PM

nope ha ha

**lollipops** · 10-11-2005, 05:58 PM

I fart so much, my pants start to smell like my farts at the end of work.

**Dave321** · 10-11-2005, 06:00 PM

I use to fart on my girlfriends head when she pissed me off... is that so wrong?!!?

**manc** · 10-11-2005, 06:04 PM

she said she actualy looked to see if id shat the bed other night cos of the smell...is there a remedy

**lollipops** · 10-11-2005, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by manc

she said she actualy looked to see if id shat the bed other night cos of the smell...is there a remedy

give her a dutch oven!

**manc** · 10-11-2005, 06:08 PM

dutch what?

**vein-x** · 10-11-2005, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by lollipops

give her a dutch oven!

Oh GOD...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=dutch+oven

By bed-time, after 2-3 protein shakes (2 of which are usually within 5 hours of bed) I can make an oven that would knock a maggot of a shit wagon

**lollipops** · 10-11-2005, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by manc

dutch what?

a dutch oven-release a couple of really smelly farts in the direction of your significant other and quickly pull the covers over her head. The fumes will get a hold of her and she will probably gag. Remind hold you can do this all of the time, so when you fart and it travels throughout the room, it should not bother her as much, because the dutch oven is always ready to go!

**manc** · 10-11-2005, 06:20 PM

yeh i do that on dark winter mornings..first i let my morning wind out,slip out of bed,switch main light on so she ducks under..works most times

**bignbald02** · 10-11-2005, 08:24 PM

lmao

**shortie** · 10-11-2005, 08:29 PM

If it is really that bad you could try beano, worked for me. But if you like sleeping alone, and some of us married folk do, just give her the old dutch oven and call it a day.

**big&tall** · 10-11-2005, 08:31 PM

my two helpers at work say something as died in my ass. lol

**TCEL300** · 10-11-2005, 08:31 PM

my ass smells like somthing died in it...the eggs and protein shakes r working wonders for my social life

**topvega** · 10-11-2005, 08:34 PM

yeah all that protien is a bitch... i havn't had a good solid shit in months... i m like a fuking mr softee machine. soft serve only...

**Lavinco** · 10-11-2005, 08:39 PM

I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I can blow some smoke out this black hole!

My shit turns orange while on d-bol too. Kinda weird.

**Perrypup** · 10-11-2005, 08:39 PM

hell try walking for 5 hours at the state fair of texas and every other step is silent but deadly hehhehe

**Lavinco** · 10-11-2005, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Perrypup

hell try walking for 5 hours at the state fair of texas and every other step is silent but deadly hehhehe

politicians....{snicker}....always shitting on the little guy.

**Perrypup** · 10-11-2005, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by Lavinco

politicians....{snicker}....always shitting on the little guy.

LMAO

**james21** · 10-11-2005, 08:48 PM

Orange shit on dbol .... haha thats a little strange

But yeah I have to fart every 10 minutes, sometimes they are horrible but sometimes they arent .... only when im on i have noticed though

**Dalton5** · 10-11-2005, 10:53 PM

Haha I once farted while at a pub, i was sittung close to the stage and the band stopped mid-set cause they were laughing so hard at the lingering stench.....the lead singer asked me what the hell I ate, .......mmmmmm beer & protein hahah...seriously

**nitro_fusion** · 10-11-2005, 11:02 PM

It is definitely all that protein. haha yea there is something you can do, you can buy charcoal tablets that are supposed to absorb the fart gas.... seriously

**Infidel** · 10-12-2005, 03:36 AM

Funny story:
The other day at work my boss and I are in this guys house painting. I let a SBD (silent but deadly) right beside him. Then I said, Hey man, I think that guys cooking eggs or something, I smell eggs, do you smell that? He took a whiff and said yeah, Must be cooking eggs. Then about 3 seconds later when the full cloud rose up and hit him in the face, he said OMG! Holy shit man, that's ****ing nasty. He had to leave the room. I think he was gagging on my ass wind. LOL! He's like man, it must be all that protein you eat. I love the SBDs, especially in the gym. I'll let one and walk off just to watch everyone gag. HAHA