Depression ON cycle - not post

**Slypknot** · 02-12-2003, 07:25 PM

Hi bro's

I come to you tonight not feeling my usual perky self... and concerned (a little).

Cycle:
1-10 Sust@500
1-10 Deca @400
6-10 Winny

I'm in the middle of week 3 and the weirdest thing happened today. I was hitting my left quad (a new spot I've found with little pain and the pleasure of being able to use two hands). Well, like a numbnut I tensed before stabbing - the result - pain and a little jerk in my leg. Well I did my research before hand, knew this might happen, and just pulled out - relaxed - and did it again this time with success.

The thing that worried me was my emotional reaction to it as the day went on. I kept playing the scene over and over in my head and actually started feeling really REALLY sad. Not to the point of tears but close a few times....like I failed or something - who the hell knows.

Well this isn't like me. Normally I'm on top of shit, can blow mistakes off and learn from em - but this is eating me. So I hit work, finish most of the day then left early cause I just couldn't stay there...felt too sad.

Just got back from the gym and I feel a little better...but WOOOO what a day! Now I've seen a lot of posts for 'post-depression' when running clomid, but I'm only in wk 3!! This should be when I start seeing the Deca kick in. I know that I'm very impatient and have been taking pictures of myself through-out this cycle (it's my first one ever), pasting them next to each other squinting to see some difference in muscle mass... being it's week 3 you can imagine I'm not seeing a whole lot - and that has me a little down.

I don't mean to whine like a sissy - I know some will think, "Damn bro, man up and just take it!" but I'm wondering if others have had this DURING cycle and what to do what to do? Most posts seem to deal with after cycle depression so I hope I'm not cursed for this 1rst time cycle run. I'm hoping it will just pass, maybe a few days like this and then I'll enjoy what most get from Test which is feeling 'very good'... any words of inspiration will help. Maybe I'll do some cardio tonight, that seems to help burn out any weird feelings I have during the day...

Slyp

**monstercojones** · 02-12-2003, 07:29 PM

getting laid always helps.

**FedSki** · 02-12-2003, 07:35 PM

sleep on it. relax. it's all in your mind.

my first two weeks on this cycle i was all stressed, emotional and paranoid. i know it wasn't the gear - it was my state of mind. now i've relaxed into the cycle i'm fine.

keep thinking that the cycle should make you feel positive (which it should) and guess what - you'll wind up feeling positive.

if you do start getting down then go see your doc and talk it over.

**Terinox** · 02-13-2003, 12:59 AM

This is your first cycle correct? It's all normal and psychological. I was just like that during my cycle, and am still a little in this cycle i'm in right now which is my second! Everytime I get some leakage, and the juice drips out of my quad I get pissed of like mad!!! It's just all psychological crap!!! It happens, you just gotta bare with it. Some days you will feel like GOD!!! Like me and my friend on Tuesday, when we had THE BEST chest workout ever! Both maxed shit we never thought we would hit! And we started getting lots of looks in the gym from fellow lifters, made me feel AMAZING!!!

And just today, did a shot about 1 hour ago, and had some leakage in my left quad, got quite pissed and angry, but i'll let it pass...this one time

**FedSki** · 02-13-2003, 04:03 AM

i agree with terinox - it's just like i was saying, it's all in the mind. this is my third cycle and my first cycle injecting. i was shitting myself before each injection for the first couple of weeks then shitting myself afterwards. you get a little paranoid and feel strange cos you don't know how you are supposed to feel. once you get used to the cycle and doing the injections and you *relax* you'll feel much better.

**Slypknot** · 02-13-2003, 05:56 AM

Whew! Thanks guys. Just hearing that it's 'normal' helps quite a bit. I was really worried that I'd get the classic - "uhhh, wow man...you should stop mid-cycle...or see a doctor".

I tried bringing this stuff up with my buddy, who is running his 5th cycle and works out with me, and you'd thought I'd just told him I loved him and wanted a hug in the middle of the gym! I didn't know where else to turn to 'share my inner child'.

I know just from managing the anxiety/being edgy that as long as I realize it's normal and I should expect it - I can control it. I feel much better this morning and if anything I'm gonna turn this into a positive! Noticing I 'feel' this way sometimes ONLY MEANS IT'S STARTING TO KICK IN!!!

Thanks again Fed, Curious, Terinox, and yes - even Monster, heheh - for your replies. Time for Slyp to strap in for the emotional rollercoaster and enjoy the ride!

Slyp