02-15-2003, 11:23 AM #1Knight of the Garter and Member of the Victorian Order
- Join Date
- Oct 2002
- England, by Grace of God
High intensity training tip:MUST READ!!!
I have been utilizing a once-popular (mid 80s) training method that I would like to share with you all: HEIGHTENED AROUSAL MODE training. To illustrate just how potent this method is, let me tell you what went down the past week- the following is a true story.
I was sitting about the gym, with my chauffeur and security assistant, Nobby, waiting impatiently for a number of fellows from the local group home to arrive. You see I have, out of the kindness of my enlarged heart, decided to offer my time to run a 'bodybuilding for the mentally and physically handicapped' program. Finally, 6 or 7 marginalized fellows entered the gym, and after screaming "Get FUCKING CHANGED NOW! YOU SODS ARE FUCKING LATE!!" and smacking one of them in the face, knocking him out of his wheelchair, they hustled into the changeroom, and threw on their gymclothes.
This was the third session- I run three a week- and since we had covered bulking and injecting methods the previous two classes, tonight it was time to go over training intensity tips. "Tonight, we shall learn of a training method of yore- which helped me build THESE (as I uttered this line, I hit a double biceps pose, growling)- heightened arousal mode. Watch and learn, fools" I sneered, then proceeded to load 315 on a bar at the squat rack. Nobby seized the bar and pressed it 10 times, roaring with intensity each rep. He racked the weight, and as soon as he did I loaded another big plate on each side. "Now, through physical abuse, I will instill in Nobby a renewed sense of determination- and he WILL press that weight 10 times!" I declared. I then took a 10 pound plate and smacked Nobby in the face, screaming "10 reps! What the fuck are you, a woman! NOOWWWW!!" Nobby, bleeding profusely from what looked like a broken nose, grabbed the 405 off the rack and, screaming "FOOKIN BASTAHDS!!" with each rep squeezed out 10 front military presses, then let the weight drop to the floor with a thunderous crash that shook the building, and sent plaster falling off the walls of the gym. Every man in the gym gasped at the cylcopean feat of strength, and shrank back in shame to their pathetic, weakling workouts.
"Now, let's see one of you try it..." and I stripped off a couple of plates off the bar, and turned to see Marvin eagerly volunteering.
Marvin is a down-syndrome fellow who trains at the gym, and is an avid disciple of mine. "Marvin, you have to be prepared to suffer pain...why, I'd go charging through that fucking wall if it meant an extra pound on my bench!" I thundered. Marvin began quivering, then, screaming, turned and ran headlong towards the wall. "Er...Marvin...that was a figure of speech.." I muttered, as Marvin crashed through the wall, and broke right into the women's changeroom. Screams ensued, and soon the police arrived and hauled off a semi-conscious Marvin, and promptly charged him with sexual assault.
The workout proceeded, and Nobby gave a good old fashioned chain-whacking over the head to each member of the group and, cut and bleeding, they lifted as never before.
Are any of you bros man enough for this type of training?
02-15-2003, 12:15 PM #2
I love when Nobby whips out his bike chain at the end
02-15-2003, 12:23 PM #3
Nobby is back!!!
02-15-2003, 12:30 PM #4
haha arrested for sexual assault..lol
02-15-2003, 02:01 PM #5
weight training for the special olmypics huh? sounds like something i'd watch on pay per view.
02-15-2003, 02:17 PM #6
Another great story.
02-15-2003, 03:43 PM #7
The only writer more elusive than this guy is Salinger...these stories come out of the woodworks every month or so like clockwork and then VG vanishes into the woodwork once more. Typical Oxbridge behavior....though funny shit nonetheless.
02-15-2003, 04:41 PM #8
405,,, thats it? common..
07-31-2003, 06:44 PM #9
bump this one back up
07-31-2003, 07:22 PM #10
Im We Tall Did..............ARe you?
07-31-2003, 07:32 PM #11
Never A Dull Moment On Ar Thats Great. Whip My Ass Nobby!
04-09-2005, 07:42 PM #12
bump for nobby
04-09-2005, 07:43 PM #13
(should probably be in the lounge tho... if a mod would move it there)
04-09-2005, 07:45 PM #14
nobby's post is 3 yrs old! shiat what the f@ck
04-09-2005, 07:55 PM #15Originally Posted by flabbywussy
04-09-2005, 07:59 PM #16Associate Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
lmfao its old but itsa good one no wonder we got guys like saluu around this place, some peeps just shouldnt be juicing lol
kinda feel bad for the retard that smashed his way into the girls lockerroom...them tities prolly gave hima heart attack.
04-09-2005, 08:16 PM #17Originally Posted by Nutz56
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