Young ex retard need some help please.

[Bradm996]

Right to begin let me give you a few stats
198lbs
12% BF
6'2
21 years old.

After reading countless times that I shouldn't I recently decided that i knew better and ran a test E cycle for 12 weeks at 450mg PW, used adex on cycle very poorly and had the most limp dicked tranny 3 months of my life, although I did grow 10lbs and gained next to no BF. Fast forward to now and after running a pct of NO HCG (stupid) and 2 weeks of clomid at 100/50 and 5 weeks of nolva at 40/40/20/20/20 I started to recover, I was able to achieve an erection every time, mood was lifting and libido was so-so, deffinately on the incline. I decided that I was fine and due to uni restarting in September (freshers, girls, you get the idea) I wanted to cut down and not loose my gains, I got hold of some anavar and started popping that 25mg/d , it was at this point I realised I didn't actually want to be retarded anymore and 3 days into this I put the anavar in the bin and started 1 more week of nolva to counteract any potential suppresion. Now to the present day; I'm not sure where I'm at, I'm keeping my calories surplus with cardio to try and cut but I believe I still have suppression, my erections are still great, mood isn't the best, strength is still cycle high, weight isn't really shifting too bad, libido is so-so ( slowly improving) but my testicles seem small and my ejaculate loads are shocking, those mozzarella facials are a thing of the past, now it's like dribbling milk into a cuppa . I've decided the route of LEAVE everything alone, train hard, sleep well, eat well and I'm hoping this will bring me back to where I should be, can anyone help?.

I know I may loose all what I produced on cycle, this is my own punishment for not listening to the VETS and trying to make this a sprint and not a marathon. I shall take the next 4 years to perfect diet, supplements and lifting to try and continue pushing myself to my natural limit, please help me with my current situation though, and also is there anyway I can lean up slightly without having to drop calories and loose what little gains I've got left.

The main thing I'm worried about to summarise is my small ejaculate loads and the fact that one of testicles is normal size and one is kinda little.
Thanks

[Marcus G]

Right to begin let me give you a few stats
198lbs
12% BF
6'2
21 years old.

After reading countless times that I shouldn't I recently decided that i knew better and ran a test E cycle for 12 weeks at 450mg PW, used adex on cycle very poorly and had the most limp dicked tranny 3 months of my life, although I did grow 10lbs and gained next to no BF. Fast forward to now and after running a pct of NO HCG (stupid) and 2 weeks of clomid at 100/50 and 5 weeks of nolva at 40/40/20/20/20 I started to recover, I was able to achieve an erection every time, mood was lifting and libido was so-so, deffinately on the incline. I decided that I was fine and due to uni restarting in September (freshers, girls, you get the idea) I wanted to cut down and not loose my gains, I got hold of some anavar and started popping that 25mg/d , it was at this point I realised I didn't actually want to be retarded anymore and 3 days into this I put the anavar in the bin and started 1 more week of nolva to counteract any potential suppresion. Now to the present day; I'm not sure where I'm at, I'm keeping my calories surplus with cardio to try and cut but I believe I still have suppression, my erections are still great, mood isn't the best, strength is still cycle high, weight isn't really shifting too bad, libido is so-so ( slowly improving) but my testicles seem small and my ejaculate loads are shocking, those mozzarella facials are a thing of the past, now it's like dribbling milk into a cuppa . I've decided the route of LEAVE everything alone, train hard, sleep well, eat well and I'm hoping this will bring me back to where I should be, can anyone help?.

I know I may loose all what I produced on cycle, this is my own punishment for not listening to the VETS and trying to make this a sprint and not a marathon. I shall take the next 4 years to perfect diet, supplements and lifting to try and continue pushing myself to my natural limit, please help me with my current situation though, and also is there anyway I can lean up slightly without having to drop calories and loose what little gains I've got left.

The main thing I'm worried about to summarise is my small ejaculate loads and the fact that one of testicles is normal size and one is kinda little.
Thanks

Did you get pre cycle bloods? Were both testies the same size before all this happened? Have you had any blood work done after the cycle?

[Bradm996]

No I didn't get any pre cycle bloods stupidly. From what I can remember yes they was, I'm not sure if they were exactly the same and from what I can remember the right one is almost normal.. the left one however is most certainly not pre cycle. I haven't had bloods after cycle, I'm trying to avoid this as my GP is my uni gp and if I'm caught to be using il be kicked off the 1st team rugby lol.

[fit_deskjocky]

No I didn't get any pre cycle bloods stupidly. From what I can remember yes they was, I'm not sure if they were exactly the same and from what I can remember the right one is almost normal.. the left one however is most certainly not pre cycle. I haven't had bloods after cycle, I'm trying to avoid this as my GP is my uni gp and if I'm caught to be using il be kicked off the 1st team rugby lol.

By far no expert and will leave the determination up to more experienced advice, but wondering if a 12 week HCG cycle of 500ius a week, 250 a pin as if you were on an AAS cycle would help and get you moving in the right direction.

[Bradm996]

Hey thanks for the response I'm starting to get a bit stressed out with it, half of that is probabaly because I'm a bit low test depressed but it's starting to worry me, Ideally I'd like to not have to touch anything if possible for the reasons of not wanting to get banned from rugby and the new season starting in September but if the general opinion is that I NEED hcg I shall get it asap

[songdog]

No HCG wouldn't help Bloods tell all this is why we warn you guys.Sorry but you got about 10 yrs before you are out of the woods bro! Good luck.

[Marcus G]

No I didn't get any pre cycle bloods stupidly. From what I can remember yes they was, I'm not sure if they were exactly the same and from what I can remember the right one is almost normal.. the left one however is most certainly not pre cycle. I haven't had bloods after cycle, I'm trying to avoid this as my GP is my uni gp and if I'm caught to be using il be kicked off the 1st team rugby lol.

Without blood work it's going to be impossible to know what's going on. If you can get hmg your chances of a good recovery increase without it you'll either have to leave it and hope it bounces back (worst option) or do a full pct (clomid & nolva) and maybe 4 weeks hcg before you start that.

[Bradm996]

Ten years? Was that a joke or exaggeration ?😂 I can't feel like this for ten years, id has jumped in front of a bus before then feeling this shit with nads smaller than my dogs ( he's muted) . If this is going on for that long I'd rather just use gear forever😫