threw away my gear. now what?

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 08:38 AM

Last night, I told my girl about using gear. She didn't like it. I threw it away right in front of her. We go to bed, and she clams up. She leaves in tears, and now I'm not sure what is goign to happen. There were more issues there than just me using gear, of that I am sure. People do roids to get bigger... be happier with their bodies. Sure, some people on roids have self-esteem issues. I have image issues, but not as severe as she must think. I'm already happy with my body, but another 15 lbs would have looked nice! She is an "all natural" kind of person. I thought honesty was the best thing. I still think it is, just bear in mind the repercussions that could ripple because you use gear, or telling loved ones about it. I told a few friends about my gear usage. They were not supportive, but they did not flip out on me. Anyway, I'm glad I told her, but she may hate me forever. Strangely, I am calm and accepting the situation much better than I should be. Thought you guys might have similar stories or be able to relate.

**TRE** · 10-22-2003, 08:43 AM

Yeah my parents founds some stuff I printed off the internet. My mom came in and talked to me and went into tears about the whole thing. Your girlfriend shouldn't end the relationship because of something small like AS. Heroin Yes AS no. Good that your honest though a lot of people arn't.

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 08:46 AM

thansk for the support. I hope that it blows over in a couple of days.

**TRE** · 10-22-2003, 08:48 AM

It should you did the right thing and threw away your stuff and she should respect that.

**Ntpadude** · 10-22-2003, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by 100571

Last night, I told my girl about using gear. She didn't like it. I threw it away right in front of her. We go to bed, and she clams up. She leaves in tears, and now I'm not sure what is goign to happen. There were more issues there than just me using gear, of that I am sure. People do roids to get bigger... be happier with their bodies. Sure, some people on roids have self-esteem issues. I have image issues, but not as severe as she must think. I'm already happy with my body, but another 15 lbs would have looked nice! She is an "all natural" kind of person. I thought honesty was the best thing. I still think it is, just bear in mind the repercussions that could ripple because you use gear, or telling loved ones about it. I told a few friends about my gear usage. They were not supportive, but they did not flip out on me. Anyway, I'm glad I told her, but she may hate me forever. Strangely, I am calm and accepting the situation much better than I should be. Thought you guys might have similar stories or be able to relate.

I expected my wife to be like that... she was angry at first, but then as long as I keep the stuff where she cant see it... doesnt want to see a needle or else I am in deep shit in her book... but otherwise whenever she is close I notice her rubbing her hands on my lats, delts, pecs.... she's checking out the changes and liking it!! She was also bragging to her girlfriends how I bulked up some 13 lbs in the last 2 weeks and its all muscle... like she's proud her man is getting more macho, hehehe, of course my ego could never be higher hearing that. Not only that but man unless she's on the rag, she's giving me so much sex, she's got ME on the run for a change... usually I'm the one that has to beg for sex...

I'd say, go get your shit out of the garbage and dont let her see you do it or see your gear...

**Testify** · 10-22-2003, 08:53 AM

Bro, I can relate. My wife intercepted my fina pellets a couple weeks ago, and the shit hit the fan. I actually had planned on telling her at some point, so I guess the result was inevitable. ED injects are tough to do in secret.

Well, I decided to be completely open with her, and to just let her vent on me for a while. Eventually she did calm down about it, but is still not very happy. She understands that I am cautious and informed, but the idea of using an illegals substance is a major hurtle. I believe it there is a stigma associated with the word "steroid " and that is the reason she is so upset. Afterall, she used to have no problem with buying a bag of pot - and even has used clen before.

I am still planning on running the next cycle in a a couple months, and I am hoping that eventually she will be accepting . . . or at least condoning of it. I think she will come around, but who knows? I think what irritates her most is my calm demeanor while she yells at me. I just continue to state my case, and try to guide the conversation into a fact-based track. What else can you do?
Good luck bro.

**Bigboy123** · 10-22-2003, 08:54 AM

I would never through away me gear, especially if I was in the middle of a cycle... U know whats funny on my last cycle My chick fuckin threw a battle because I finally told her. ANy way last night she called me and was like i feel like u dont love me and ur cheating on me. She said since have been so calm and not yelling at her as much. SO she asked me to yell at her more. I was thinkin in my mind on monday im starting my cycle so that could be arranged.

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by Bigboy123

I would never through away me gear, especially if I was in the middle of a cycle... U know whats funny on my last cycle My chick fuckin threw a battle because I finally told her. ANy way last night she called me and was like i feel like u dont love me and ur cheating on me. She said since have been so calm and not yelling at her as much. SO she asked me to yell at her more. I was thinkin in my mind on monday im starting my cycle so that could be arranged.

LMAO I can use a little humor right now!

My girl works in the medical field, so she know more than I do about the drugs that I was using than I do. Her last boyfriend looked like a calander model but had NO self confidence, and she says she doesn't care what I look like. maybe I'm an idiot, but I believe her.

**ColdSore** · 10-22-2003, 09:01 AM

This is a leson to all...let them know as soon as you meet them or as soon as you decide you want to do AS...Tell them its a part of your life, not just some thing you do for fun, and if they cant deal with it then find another...just my .02...and it worked for me

**Ntpadude** · 10-22-2003, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by 100571

LMAO I can use a little humor right now!

My girl works in the medical field, so she know more than I do about the drugs that I was using than I do. Her last boyfriend looked like a calander model but had NO self confidence, and she says she doesn't care what I look like. maybe I'm an idiot, but I believe her.

Tell her like I told my wife, " Aw come on, please? Its a guy thing to want a decent amount of muscles of physique... I promise not to be on endless steroid cycles like a pro wrestler, I just want to bulk myself up to self respectable level then stop "

My wife agree to allow me up to 2 cycles to get where I want to get, but then no more without seeing and getting doctor's opinion.

**JasonNew-b** · 10-22-2003, 09:13 AM

I'm lucky enough to have a wife who understands the reasons I do what I do and trusts my judgement regarding my decisions. At first I tried to hide it from her, but like Testify said, ED injects are hard to hide. Every few months we have the "Now this is the last cycle right?" discussion.

She was more worried about the health issues than the legality of what I was doing. I bought the book Legal Muscle, from ASN, and we've been reading it together for a week or so. Good read. To follow the others opinions; be honest, don't hide it, it will come out eventually. Good luck.

**ectogainer** · 10-22-2003, 09:17 AM

i feel for you bro--but in my honest opinion---you should stay strong--i still havent used gear but i am planning a cycle for march. I decided to tell my girlfriend a while back and she flipped out---I dont have self esteem probs. either but in all honesty i do have some image issues (i ran cross country through high school and nearly all my friends played football--to say the least they kidded around alot about my size-but didnt know it bothered me)--Anyways, i told her about it and she threatened breaking up for just thinking about it (she is all natural kind of girl too). Then it changed to she would break up with me if i did it. I told her if she had true feelings for me that she wouldnt do something like that and i also taught her about AS (general public is under the impression that AS is some horrible drug). I stayed firm and told her that i was going to do it (buying them in 1 week) and she is now totally accepting it. It just takes some time. If she really has feelings for you she would want you to be happy and not flip out over AS. I respect your decision but stay strong bro--i'd be diggin through the trash and getting them back by now
Good luck man

**D3m3nt3d** · 10-22-2003, 09:20 AM

you did the right thing bro...my girl is supportive of my AAS use...maybe because it makes us a little $ on the side ya know, but anyway no need to throw it away dawg. Your in Charlotte and I will be happy to take whats left

Matter of fact I will be in Charlotte early December

**halifaxsteve** · 10-22-2003, 09:24 AM

well...my friends were supportive (my buddy and training partner also started his first cycle when i started mine), as was my sis...but i didn't tell my gf. well, when deca dick came knocking at my door, i had to tell her the truth. she wasn't happy, but she agreed to deal with it as long as i don't do any more. i'm starting another cycle next month

i just educated her about AAS...she only knows the stuff that hits the media

edit: i also forgot to mention...i think you did the right thing with your gf...it shows that you respect her and the relationship.

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 11:57 AM

thanks guys. I still haven't heard from her. It's been kind of a shitty day.

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by ectogainer

i feel for you bro--but in my honest opinion---you should stay strong--i still havent used gear but i am planning a cycle for march. I decided to tell my girlfriend a while back and she flipped out---I dont have self esteem probs. either but in all honesty i do have some image issues (i ran cross country through high school and nearly all my friends played football--to say the least they kidded around alot about my size-but didnt know it bothered me)--Anyways, i told her about it and she threatened breaking up for just thinking about it (she is all natural kind of girl too). Then it changed to she would break up with me if i did it. I told her if she had true feelings for me that she wouldnt do something like that and i also taught her about AS (general public is under the impression that AS is some horrible drug). I stayed firm and told her that i was going to do it (buying them in 1 week) and she is now totally accepting it. It just takes some time. If she really has feelings for you she would want you to be happy and not flip out over AS. I respect your decision but stay strong bro--i'd be diggin through the trash and getting them back by now
Good luck man

I feel you bro. I ran CC in high schol and college. I like being lean, but was gettign tired of beink lanky. I am hoping that this is just an initial flip out reaction and she will calm down and we can move on from here. I really like this girl, and she has dumped a huge amount of baggage (you really cannot imagine) on me that I accept and help her deal with. I guess if she can't handle my AAS experiment, things weren't meant to be.

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by ColdStone

This is a leson to all...let them know as soon as you meet them or as soon as you decide you want to do AS...Tell them its a part of your life, not just some thing you do for fun, and if they cant deal with it then find another...just my .02...and it worked for me

that would be a great pick up line... "Hello. I'm XXXX, and I use roids. Wanna fuck?"

**BDTR** · 10-22-2003, 12:07 PM

Wow, did you throw away your balls too? You threw away gear for a girl? I'd throw my girlfrined out a window before i threw away my stash. Theres hundreds more where she came from.

**BUYLONGTERM** · 10-22-2003, 12:07 PM

Well, I respect what you did, but I am going to take a different angle here. First I wouldn't of thrown the gear away. I would of told her that It's better to finish the cycle, rather than stop in the middle. You should of told her you promise that you will never do it again. But, since you did, I think that shows how much you care for her.

Here is my take. I would never tell a girlfriend if you don't have too. I've said this all along. In the beginning if women say they are OK with it, I think it comes back to haunt you. Now they have an excuse. Say you lose your temper or get mad. What do you think she will blame? If I ever got caught, I would be able to talk my way out of it. Regardless if you tell them or they find out, they will be pissed either way. So, what they don't know won't hurt them

I hope you guys get back together. Good luck bro

BLT

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by bdtr

Wow, did you throw away your balls too? You threw away gear for a girl? I'd throw my girlfrined out a window before i threw away my stash. Theres hundreds more where she came from.

I was just waiting for someone to say something like that! ha ha

**BUYLONGTERM** · 10-22-2003, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by bdtr

Wow, did you throw away your balls too? You threw away gear for a girl? I'd throw my girlfrined out a window before i threw away my stash. Theres hundreds more where she came from.

LMAO!!!! But its sooo true!! If she can't accept who I am, then it's time to go.

That might go down as the best response I have ever read!!!

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 12:20 PM

Any other girl would have been out the window by now. I actually thought that we may have had a shot at something long-term. This whole situation has got me thinking, though...

BLT wrote: I wouldn't of thrown the gear away. I would of told her that It's better to finish the cycle, rather than stop in the middle.

Yeah, I tried that approach first. No dice. She is a med school know it all. Well, she is pretty damn smart. Doesn't look like I will be able to use her as a resource, though.

**OTC** · 10-22-2003, 12:21 PM

Wow, this same exact thing happened to me, but worse, and I wasn't on a cycle yet, but I was just about to start. Let me tell you first honesty is the best thing, I learned the hard way. My girlfriend found out behind my back by frequenting this board, reading all my posts about the cycle I was about to start behind her back. Would things have been different having told her initially, probobly not, but I would have felt a lot better about myself. Now comes the hard part, is gear more important than your gf, I was at that road once as well, and it wasn't for me at the time. Just remember, AAS is not going anywhere, finish your cycle by explaining the risks of ending a cycle prematurely. Depending on how serious you are with her, you should give her time to accept your use, in hopes that she may come to terms with it, if not then you have a decision to make. Believe me man, this topic hit me as soon as I saw it, I know how you feel.
-OTC

**DocHoliday** · 10-22-2003, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Bigboy123

I would never through away me gear, especially if I was in the middle of a cycle... U know whats funny on my last cycle My chick fuckin threw a battle because I finally told her. ANy way last night she called me and was like i feel like u dont love me and ur cheating on me. She said since have been so calm and not yelling at her as much. SO she asked me to yell at her more. I was thinkin in my mind on monday im starting my cycle so that could be arranged.

Hahah synister!!!

Only three of my close friends know. I would deny it to anyone else. If I start dating, it's going to be noticable that I put on 10-20 lbs in a few short weeks. I can stay level headed, but I'm sure questions will arise.

Honesty is the best policy though. You pulled the right move if you really like her. The test is waiting to find out if she really likes you. Shitty deal, but in the end you'll have a stronger sense of what your relationship is based on.

Doc

**motoxxxguy** · 10-22-2003, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by bdtr

Wow, did you throw away your balls too? You threw away gear for a girl? I'd throw my girlfrined out a window before i threw away my stash. Theres hundreds more where she came from.

I was hoping someone else here had the same thoughts as me! Chicks are a dime-a-dozen, bro. You think it sucks now? Better to find out how she handles things now then get married and have something like this happen. Then it will not only make you sad, but will cost you a shit-ton of money!

Now go get your gear out of the damn trash can weenie!

-moto

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 12:49 PM

lmao. varying opinions... all valid. I'm thinking what I did was teh right choice for me. Truth, after all, is relative.

**Aragorn** · 10-22-2003, 01:00 PM

Educate them as you did yourself by bringing them to the boards. People in general get upset with people they care about when something happens behind their back and aren't told about it. Bring them to the boards, show them what you're learning, and include them by getting feedback. It's easier on the mind knowing you have someone right there who you can tell anything too.

Watch out for the "throw her out the window technique" as she'll feel some animosity, and probably tell the people you don't want knowing anything about your private life.

Aragorn

**BDTR** · 10-22-2003, 01:07 PM

Not if the window is high enough.

Originally Posted by Aragorn

Watch out for the "throw her out the window technique" as she'll feel some animosity, and probably tell the people you don't want knowing anything about your private life.

Aragorn

**ectogainer** · 10-22-2003, 01:10 PM

100571--i still think you should keep going with the gear and my opinions above still stand. but i want you to know that i understand where youre coming from. I am dating a serious girlfriend and if i look at it relatively--No steriod , mass, or amount of strenght could ever make me as happy as she does. Truth be told i would not have considered it if i really thought she would end the relationship---I just cant let her know that

Do whats right for you

**markas214** · 10-22-2003, 01:12 PM

[QUOTE=buylongterm]LMAO!!!! But its sooo true!! If she can't accept who I am, then it's time to go.

I agree. My wife doesn't like the fact I'm using gear but she accepts it and will even inject me when I ask her. She respects me and my decisions.

**RussianVodka** · 10-22-2003, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by bdtr

Wow, did you throw away your balls too? You threw away gear for a girl? I'd throw my girlfrined out a window before i threw away my stash. Theres hundreds more where she came from.

bdtr is right!!! It is your life bro. If you want be a pussy, than chicks will make your life a real nightmare.
I told mine: "you have 2 choices - shot this stuff in my ass or leave my home".
She choosed first

**D3m3nt3d** · 10-22-2003, 01:18 PM

when i first started dating my girl. I had done gear but was not on them at the time. She told me she didnt want me on steroids and I respected her decision. I am a big person on respect. However one night we went to the movies and she saw a preview of a Vin Diesel movie and all of a sudden she said she doesnt care if I do steroids

**DADDYDBOL** · 10-22-2003, 01:24 PM

Get a new girl bro.

**Aragorn** · 10-22-2003, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by bdtr

Not if the window is high enough.

LOL and I heard A/S is easy to get in jail too, so he won't have to worry

Aragorn

**pumpseeker** · 10-22-2003, 01:35 PM

100571 - You need to train them to accept AS. It took me several weeks of talking to my wife about it. She doesn't like it when I do a cycle but she doesn't stop me either. Talk to them about all the misconceptions, convince them of all the research you've done, etc.

Believe me, she doesn't hate you because you're using AS...that's absurd.

Originally Posted by Ntpadude

She was also bragging to her girlfriends how I bulked up some 13 lbs in the last 2 weeks and its all muscle...

I doubt that! More like 12.9 pounds of water and fat and 0.1 pounds of muscle

**BUYLONGTERM** · 10-22-2003, 01:40 PM

So, when you threw your gear away, can you get it back??? Are the vials broken?Thats the question!!!!! Shit, I'd be licking dirty napkins, anything in that garbage if that were the case, just to make me feel better....

**somedude247** · 10-22-2003, 01:43 PM

Do yourselves a favour....don't discuss "gear" with the common person...they will not understand.....thats how vicious rumours are started......

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by buylongterm

So, when you threw your gear away, can you get it back??? Are the vials broken?Thats the question!!!!! Shit, I'd be licking dirty napkins, anything in that garbage if that were the case, just to make me feel better....

I threw my last vial into the woods behind my house. If I really wanted to keep juicing, I could find a few amps to get me through this cycle. I told her I would not continue on roids, so I am goign to honor my word. I have a lot of things to work through, and I need to see how this is going to play out over the next few days. I think there are other issues at play here besides teh AAS use. That was jsut the trigger. I am not due for anohter injection until Saturday, and could make it til Monday w/o messing up my cycle. As of now, all I have is a shoe box full of darts, needles, alcohol wipes and funky art band-aids.

**ENraged** · 10-22-2003, 01:57 PM

screw women my body is for life!! they come and they go the one that stays will deal with all my shit.
Thats why i am marrying the one i am with now i say i am ordeing some gears she says are you sure. I say yes that was it. fina pellets are at home now and syno is in the mail

**100571** · 10-22-2003, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by ENraged

screw women my body is for life!! they come and they go the one that stays will deal with all my shit.
Thats why i am marrying the one i am with now i say i am ordeing some gears she says are you sure. I say yes that was it. fina pellets are at home now and syno is in the mail

wish it were that easy for everyone. we shoudl all be so lucky. I'm looking forward to taking my frustrations out on the dumbells tonight.