weird pussy behavior

**Beat** · 09-15-2005, 04:07 AM

i have a weird question, maybe someone can relate..
everytime I get confronted by some guy wanting to fight (and im not ready for it, like for example a bum out of nowhere walks up to you, high and starts cursing at you or hitting on your car OR someone tries to rob you) i pussy out and...yes, i actually get scared.. and im a over 200 pound guy, 6 ft, and im convinced i could take some of the guys out that ask for it, BUT i kinda dont react at ALL when it counts, then when its over i just want to find him and kill him.. ANYWAY does anyone have any suggestions on how to not pussy out when something goes down, its kinda embaressing (sp)
how to build up the confidence if you will..

thanks

**gaza** · 09-15-2005, 04:50 AM

This is adreinal stress

The fight or flight syndrome

You need to find your self an RSD (Realiistic Self Defence) based Martial Arts type school.

Then do some scenario based training. Get used to controlling the adreanal rush and focus it in to kicking the cr@p out of some one who starts on you

**sonar1234** · 09-15-2005, 08:56 AM

I know what you mean, i have a bad temper and really am not a street fighter.

I never add to fight cause i stood up them and they sort of didnt want to fight

I found that if you can get used to getting hit say like gaza says sort of a muay thai type of training full contact then well it will come to the street it will be easy.

Typical training that will get you ready to get hit and hit back of course.

**Papi93** · 09-15-2005, 09:41 AM

Since you're probably bigger than most of your opponents, I would recommend joining a martial art school that stresses sparring. As Sonar said, look for a good muay thai school and you'll get used to getting hit. Granted, there is always going to be a little fear but you'll have it under control. Training will do that for you. In my experiences, fear is the worst just before the fight but when once you start to fight, your training takes over and the fear dissapates. Good luck!

**gaza** · 09-15-2005, 09:43 AM

Nice thing about RSD they will do scenario training, a good one will use full body suits (Redman).

They will set up an nvironment like a bar, then push you around a bit, shout and swear at you.

Mess you about untill you get the trigger to bash the sh17e out of the man in the big padded suit.

Good fun, buts gets the heart racing and helps you control your adreanaling.

**ripped4fsu** · 09-15-2005, 10:21 AM

Good thread... I had the same problem until I was 18, Then one day I got my face crushed and ended up in the hospital. I got sucker punched by a guy I probably could have beat, but I was too scared to fight.

After that I took boxing for two years, the guys are right, Sparing is great for over coming fear. Now I have a greater fear of getting sucker punched again so if someone even LOOKS sketchey around me I'll unload on them without hesitation.

**simm** · 09-15-2005, 10:46 AM

I don't want 2 put a dampener on the party here,but sparring is ok 2 a limit..Granted,it has 2 be done yet it is absolutely nothing like a REAL street fight!!!
Confidence seems 2 be the issue here,not fighting ability!!

**beuleux** · 09-15-2005, 10:46 AM

Yeh a club which incorporates full contact is a must, playing lets pretend doesnt cut it in the real world, its quite normal what you are feeling I have paracticed martial arts on and off for 20 years although im no bruce lee I can handle myself well enough, I still get the jitters when someone squares off to me even though they are physically beneath me, but once it kicks off everythings OK, its a confidence thing, one assumes if someone is confident he can beat you then he must be good and one starts to question ones own ability. Try reading some pshycology stuff. Dead or alive by Geoff Thompson is a good place to start.

**Papi93** · 09-15-2005, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by simm

Confidence seems 2 be the issue here,not fighting ability!!

If you believe in your fighting ability, you should have a higher level of confidence. Do you disagree? Not trying to rip this sentence, just trying to understand your reasoning.

**stayinstacked** · 09-15-2005, 11:47 AM

here is the key to winning a street fight; you cannot think of it as an "oh shit, I might get my ass kicked" scenario. You need to think of it as a sport, kind of like bodybuilding. Think the same way you think when your about to deadlift 500 lbs or bench 400 lbs, think"lets do this shit" dont think about losing, that will only scare you and adrenaline can hurt you in a fight rather than help you sometimes. Make believe the guy is one of your freinds and you guys are just play fighting, but throw harsh blows. Not that anybody has ****ed with me in a long time, but these are some tactics i used to use back in the day.

**rock hard** · 09-15-2005, 11:51 AM

i also used to have this problem i whould be so pumped and then when a situation poped up i whould go limp, then i got into boxing and bare nuckle rib boxing which i rarely do the bare nuckle anymore because i have had a few situations where its went a little too far, another thing is i think that nervous feeling may sometimes just be natual for some people because in the begining of a fight i still get it but then when the fights starts and i see what my oppent has and i understand him and get used to him i lose all fear and replace it with aggretion, also listen to lots of gangster rap it keeps that thug mentallty up lol j/p

**simm** · 09-15-2005, 01:50 PM

striker93..yes that is right,i should have said that 2 and made my sentence look even better...lol

**ripped4fsu** · 09-15-2005, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by stayinstacked

here is the key to winning a street fight; you cannot think of it as an "oh shit, I might get my ass kicked" scenario. You need to think of it as a sport, kind of like bodybuilding. Think the same way you think when your about to deadlift 500 lbs or bench 400 lbs, think"lets do this shit" dont think about losing, that will only scare you and adrenaline can hurt you in a fight rather than help you sometimes. Make believe the guy is one of your freinds and you guys are just play fighting, but throw harsh blows. Not that anybody has ****ed with me in a long time, but these are some tactics i used to use back in the day.

I think one other thing we are overlooking here is motivation and senario. I mean if someone is a$$ raping your mom or girlfriend you'll fight with a blind rage and probably end up killing someone or dead yourself. but if you're just walking to your car after a big relaxing meal and someone is all of a sudden up in your face you will be more inclined to be afraid, or at the very least confused. so I think anger and provocation have a lot to do with it too.

but someone made a good point that there is no substitution for real fighting.

**sonar1234** · 09-15-2005, 02:15 PM

Getting knockout is not that bad either, i got knockout so many times when doing kyokushin i was very skinny 142 pounds and fought guys well over 200 pounds.

Kicked in the head, in the liver, stomach, cornered against a wall.

I was scared but that all changed when i got bigger 180 pounds and acutally broke 2 ribs on a 240 guy that was bugging all the students in the class.

Your training will get you more confident, and you will go full contact but full contact does not mean you are gonna get killed and you will learn.

Man i cant wait to get back into martial arts hopefully Muay Thai after a damn 10 year layoff.

Good luck bro

**BOUNCER** · 09-15-2005, 02:50 PM

Good thread. First off a dojo can not hope to replicate the voilence your going to face on the street. NO ONE in the dojo wants to kill you, seriously injury you, rape you or otherwise harm you so getting any sort of realistic street scenario is probably going to be impossible. But it can give you the confidence you need to better handle a voilence or the threat of voilence on the street.

I'm in a position whereby I'm almost certain to be in a confrontion most weekends, I'm a bouncer, and believe me buddy I suffer the very same as you but we both handle it vrey differently. I tell myself, "Right Marto here's another workout"!, I don't get into word games as I sometimes stammer when faced with voilence and that exerbates the situation and cause's me to hit out very voilently.

If your looking for a style which suits the street I'd suggest you look for a club teaching Vale Tudo, or failing that you want either Muay Thai/Kickboxing and something with grapply, ie BJJ/JJ/Judo or Sambo. Personally I prefer Judo as it has far better take downs.

All Geoff Thompson's books are good and inspiring.

**Beat** · 09-15-2005, 09:29 PM

whoa, appreciate all the responses guys
i love the RSD idea, getting pushed around and sworn at, have to try that!
nice that you guys recommended books too, im a reader
just started taking boxing classes, lets hope this helps
its like someone said, its the shock and confusion that messes me up, once thats out of the way i think id be fine..

**KrooC** · 09-15-2005, 10:27 PM

what i do with any fight is let them think your scared look scared get ur eyes all big like a puppy dog and start taking steps backwards... they will advance thinkin you dont want to fight.. let them get real close then throw all your weight into one swing... always worked for me

**BigRandy** · 09-15-2005, 10:36 PM

i dont think you can do much about having that nervous feeling..its normal. and unless someone comes after you (throwing strikes etc) i think its better not to fight. if some guy wants to be tough just let it go..not worth it imo

**Tazwell** · 09-15-2005, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by BigRandy

i dont think you can do much about having that nervous feeling..its normal. and unless someone comes after you (throwing strikes etc) i think its better not to fight. if some guy wants to be tough just let it go..not worth it imo

i agrea.. if someone wants to fight, let them talk as much as they want.. just stay quite and stare at him.. don't fight unless you have too..

i have no training, but when i'm in a street fight i keep it simple.. i'm right handed.. so i use me left hand to keep the guy at a distance and block, then i swing full force with my right, aiming for the face, whenever it looks like i have a clear shot.. worked good so far

**Beat** · 09-16-2005, 01:11 AM

yeah of course, i avoid fighting when not necessary.. i just dont want to go numb when something actually will go down.. im no bully

**gaza** · 09-16-2005, 06:25 AM

Here is a simple one for you now you are boxing.

Get training partner with focus pads on, also cap, hoodie, shades.

Go in the garden ..... your objective is to walk from one side to the other.

Your paartners job is to step out and pester you, stop you getting by, asking for money, cigerettes etc.

When you say no he gets agressive shouting swearing, make it real .......

Only when he stops puts the pads up and screams "HIT IT" do you let go with a left right.

Some times he will, ... some times he will just walk off ........ you have to be prepared !!!

**BOUNCER** · 09-16-2005, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by gaza

Here is a simple one for you now you are boxing.

Get training partner with focus pads on, also cap, hoodie, shades.

Go in the garden ..... your objective is to walk from one side to the other.

Your paartners job is to step out and pester you, stop you getting by, asking for money, cigerettes etc.

When you say no he gets agressive shouting swearing, make it real .......

Only when he stops puts the pads up and screams "HIT IT" do you let go with a left right.

Some times he will, ... some times he will just walk off ........ you have to be prepared !!!

Your joking, right?.

**Dally** · 09-16-2005, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

Your joking, right?.

no I do that all the time... I love being in the garden.

**oldandgrim** · 09-16-2005, 08:47 AM

I find that if there is more than one, or some crazy Fcuk. there are two things you can do Run or go completly crazy on them. No one wonts to fight a mad man.

It worked for me many a time, when i should of been beaten the crap out of

**gaza** · 09-16-2005, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

Your joking, right?.

Errrrr no, why ???

Is it because I said garden?

I could have said go to your local gym and spend $40 renting the studio ... garden is free. I have over half an acre so loads of space.

This is very basic adreanal stress training, we use this on all our training courses...

You will be very suprised at how many people, even in a controlled environment lose the basic motor skill of focussing on a small target and hitting it.

Try it some time

**beuleux** · 09-16-2005, 09:04 AM

There are some sound traing methods being mentioned here but lets not forget one cannot go into this blind, one needs coaching from someone with at least a little boxing or martial arts background or its easy to develop bad technique and worse still a crappy gaurd, even the best need coaching when on a bag or pads, elbows in, back hand up, watch the back foot that kind of thing.

**BOUNCER** · 09-16-2005, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by gaza

Errrrr no, why ???

Is it because I said garden?

I could have said go to your local gym and spend $40 renting the studio ... garden is free. I have over half an acre so loads of space.

This is very basic adreanal stress training, we use this on all our training courses...

You will be very suprised at how many people, even in a controlled environment lose the basic motor skill of focussing on a small target and hitting it.

Try it some time

Focussing on a small target and hitting it is one thing. Replicating street voilence in the dojo, or garden, is impossible. Its a different type of stress entirely. I train Judo and Vale Tudo (formerly kickboxing too) and no matter who I'm sparring or fighting I know their intent is not to kill or serious harm me and I look forward to a good hard session. But when a little scumbag on the street steps up with his shit I'm a live wire, I feel fear and I'm ready to fck him up totally if he lets loose. Seriously, your not comparing like with like.

**BOUNCER** · 09-16-2005, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by Dally

no I do that all the time... I love being in the garden.

Ah Grasshopper, you come here to teach us the secrets behind your ancient Chinese 'Greenfinger Kata'?

**Dally** · 09-16-2005, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

Ah Grasshopper, you come here to teach us the secrets behind your ancient Chinese 'Greenfinger Kata'?

no no master...Im merely spreading the knowledge of the brown finger kata

or at least thats what I have been practicing with Heavyhitter and justinsane.

**simm** · 09-17-2005, 05:46 AM

LMAO......That little piggy didn't have roast beef...He is roast beef...lol...It's an english thing!!!!

**63190** · 09-17-2005, 07:56 AM

I'm in a position whereby I'm almost certain to be in a confrontion most weekends, I'm a bouncer, and believe me buddy I suffer the very same as you but we both handle it vrey differently. I tell myself, "Right Marto here's another workout"!, I don't get into word games as I sometimes stammer when faced with voilence and that exerbates the situation and cause's me to hit out very voilently

Now that you're in Boxing, you'll learn how to quickly focus the adrenaline rush. Fear is good. It keeps you alive. You just have to learn not to lose your wit when struck by fear to avoid utter terror. Sparring will help the most with this.
I wrestled in high school. One time a year after, my brother hid behind a wall in the dark and lunged out at me in a scream. In an instant, I was in a deffensive position ready to grapple. He laughed at me, but I was about to scoop-slam him or worse. I was fearful, but I wasn't scared witless.

**JAMIE720** · 09-17-2005, 08:53 AM

Interesting thread.The calmest I am in a situation like this is right before I unload on someone which is as soon as they get close enough.I have worked with some guys but dont have extensive formal experiance in martial arts.Guys I know that do have told me the same thing about having jitters.I think its something your born with because ive never felt nervous in a situation where I was confronted and have in many fights winning some and losing some.

**gaza** · 09-19-2005, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

Focussing on a small target and hitting it is one thing. Replicating street voilence in the dojo, or garden, is impossible. Its a different type of stress entirely. I train Judo and Vale Tudo (formerly kickboxing too) and no matter who I'm sparring or fighting I know their intent is not to kill or serious harm me and I look forward to a good hard session. But when a little scumbag on the street steps up with his shit I'm a live wire, I feel fear and I'm ready to fck him up totally if he lets loose. Seriously, your not comparing like with like.

You hit the nail on the head when you said "who I'm sparring or fighting"

This shows there is a controlled environment with rules and valid techniques.

RSD is different and with a good instructor adreanal stress (the type of rush you get in real encounters) can be simulated.

I agree it may still only be 80% of what you get in the street, but if you can control that 80% then it means only 20% pooop in your pants.

This is also the reason we train out side the dojo

**panasonicbike** · 11-17-2005, 03:57 PM

Take your shirt off like you are a hard ass. Then throw it in their face and get as many punches in as possible.

**jef** · 11-18-2005, 12:11 AM

For me, you have to learn to feel whether or not you're really in harm's way. There is nothing wrong with really "being a man" and knowing to walk away and that it's immature. On the other hand, if you're seriously feeling like there is no retreat then you need to harness that fear and adren****e...that shaky feeling you get will be your best friend and I promise you; once the first punch flies, there are no more butterflies. In my opinion, unless you are completely ready to throw down, kick, knee, elbow, scream and bloody a son of a bit.H up then it's better to walk. If you can walk, but don't play the verbal back and forth game trying to get pumped up...If you're going to swing...please finish the job and be relentless or they might hit you back even harder!

***Billy_Bathgate*** · 11-18-2005, 02:24 AM

take bjj or judo

you will spar so much then when you get in a fight your just like...hmm...ok whatever..its like just something normal like eating a sandwich.

more over, your outer confidence will be alot higher. maybe thats why you get messed with alot. do you walk around staring at the ground quietly?

**bootkampboy** · 09-27-2006, 11:48 PM

its not worth it anyway. you know how it would turn out.

**boxingbean** · 09-28-2006, 12:09 AM

Originally Posted by Beat

i have a weird question, maybe someone can relate..
everytime I get confronted by some guy wanting to fight (and im not ready for it, like for example a bum out of nowhere walks up to you, high and starts cursing at you or hitting on your car OR someone tries to rob you) i pussy out and...yes, i actually get scared.. and im a over 200 pound guy, 6 ft, and im convinced i could take some of the guys out that ask for it, BUT i kinda dont react at ALL when it counts, then when its over i just want to find him and kill him.. ANYWAY does anyone have any suggestions on how to not pussy out when something goes down, its kinda embaressing (sp)
how to build up the confidence if you will..

thanks

ur unsure of ur fighting skills...maybe join a class or program to build you confidence, that doesnt mean ur in the wrong, but u should always be confident when u need to protect urself...and sumthings a quiet glare..mean muggin like a pyscho in a strain jacket can help a good bluff...

**zimmy** · 09-28-2006, 01:12 AM

not gonna bother reading all the other posts :P... but seriously...I am a very agressive guy...and i'm pretty big and pretty well trained...but i will back out of almost any fight i can...street fighting is stupid.

**zimmy** · 09-28-2006, 01:16 AM

Originally Posted by jef

For me, you have to learn to feel whether or not you're really in harm's way. There is nothing wrong with really "being a man" and knowing to walk away and that it's immature. On the other hand, if you're seriously feeling like there is no retreat then you need to harness that fear and adren****e...that shaky feeling you get will be your best friend and I promise you; once the first punch flies, there are no more butterflies. In my opinion, unless you are completely ready to throw down, kick, knee, elbow, scream and bloody a son of a bit.H up then it's better to walk. If you can walk, but don't play the verbal back and forth game trying to get pumped up...If you're going to swing...please finish the job and be relentless or they might hit you back even harder!

maybe i should have red the posts before i did.. well said!